Sisterhood

I don't have a blood-related sister. My cousin of the same age is the closest thing to a sister when I was a kid. Now, my good friend is the closest thing to a sister that I have. Because of that, I missed all the fun of bickering with sisters, fighting over stupid stuff, critisizing sisters' outfits and stuff.

I have to say I am jealous of people having a sister as they can exchange comments on clothes and stuff. Sometimes I want to change my style a bit but a bit hesitant as there are no one to refer to. What if the new outfit cramps my (non-existant) style? What if it looks totally hideous?

See? #FirstWorldProblem.

With the advent of technology, the misery of not knowing is no longer an issue. I feel like carrying my friends in my pocket these days. Pick an outfit, take a picture and send it to friend(s). Most of the time, I don't even have to wait long for the answer.

Shopping for clothes is no longer a burden now. I used to drag someone for their opinion but nay, I got my sisters on my phone right now, ready to rescue me.

I love you, lovelies. You know who uou are.

Romantic schmantic

We were very lucky that we were not thrown out of the cinema during Les Miserables. No, you do not need to know French in order to understand the title. Miserable is the operative word.

Despite the title, we were laughing most of the time, especially during the romantic songs. Especially me, I find it funny. Maybe I was too much of a skeptic to feel the heat.

It was a good movie. I like almost everything about it. Despite the fact that it was a musical, I actually enjoyed it especially with Sacha Baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter. Of course, there's Hugh Jackman and Anne Hathaway. And Russell Crowe.

Ouh no. I won't spoil it for you. I just want to go find Victor Hugo's now. So bye!

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Decision Making

Looking at the life that we are leading now, I truly understand why heart diseases are becoming more common among younger people. We had to make decisions every single second of our life. Now, I do understand that it is something that we have to do like choosing ketchup over chilli and stuff like that. Let me demonstrate to you. 

A coffee chain is a place for hardcore decision makers. I am talking about the chains like Starbucks, San Francisco Coffee, Coffee Bean and such. You walk into the store, humming to yourself thinking that 'Yeay! I am getting my dose of drug (which is absolutely what I have in mind every single time I go into one of those outlets)' and BAM! You end up staring at the walls, opening and closing your mouth like goldfish being out of the bowl. 

There, up on the walls are written an array of options for your coffee. Tall black, decaf, hot or cold. Wait, there's more to it. With full-cream milk, low-fat milk, with or without whipped cream (mine will always be minus the cream). I don't know about you but sometimes I do sweat for having to make such important decision within...say two minutes or I have this feeling of people behind me shouting profanities into my ears. As a fellow caffeine addict, I know how lack of such component may impair judgment. 

And yes, I treat coffee as serious business. 

A couple of minutes and we have to pick a combination of substance to become the beverage of the day. I understand that some of us need caffeine to kick start out day. Imagine having to make such an important decision first thing in the morning. What if we screw up? The whole day will be ruined!

It's not as simple as before where the choices are limited to coffee with milk, with sugar or without sugar. Not that way anymore. 

No wonder they charge us so much at Starbucks and such. It's part of a training to become decision makers. Hurm. 

Ladies, It Pays To Be Vigilant

This happened yesterday at the KL Convention Centre, at a place that I frequents on a daily basis. It never occured to me that this will happen but it did.

My friend coolly said that nowhere is safe when I recounted this story.

(reading instruction: please read with an echo. Thank you) I just came back from having tea with a friend, it was after 7pm, leaning towards 8pm. It was not that late and there were tonnes of people near the convention centre area. I felt safe (humming silently under my breath), thinking that it was near impossible to be attacked or anything, safe for the sharks in Aquaria. So, I went to the toilet, fighting againts the human traffic with the kids and the parents running after kids and all. A man walked in front of me, I was pretty sure he was a Malay.

Anyways, I saw someone with the complexion of a Bangladeshi standing outside the men's. Something told me that I'd better be careful. True enough, he approached me and asked if I am a Malaysia. Of course, I am fighting all my senses to reply with a sarcastic remark and waved my hand before heading to the toilet. I was so scared that he will do something like follow me home that I asked for the cleaner to accompany me outside once I am done with my business (and no, not telling). I was wearing baju kurung so that made it much more difficult to run, in case I had to. And I hate running so you can guess I am as a good runner as Garfield.

When both of us peaked outside, the man was not there anymore. I was literally sweating because of fear and I regretted the moment I once joked about being stalked means that you are popular. To anyone who heard me crack that one, please forgive me.

Back to the story, he was not in front of the toilet. I knew I brushed him off in quite a harsh way and yes, I was afraid he might do something to me. Seeing that he was nowhere to be seen, I walked straight with as much calmness that I can muster (I can assure you it was nearing the 0 level) when I saw him again. This time with a girl standing to his far right. She looked uneasy and something told me, this guy bothered her too.

I called the girl and asked if the guy bothered her. She did not reply yes straightaway but asked me if I was bothered before that. I pulled her aside before listening to her story. This was it:

Girl: The guy said he is a muslim convert and he wants to learn how to perform wudhu'

Me: Then why didn't he go into the surau and ask someone there?

And remember the guy I told you walked in front of me before I entered the toilet? He could have asked the guy.

Girl: He said nobody wants to talk to him. And he cannot speak Malay.

Oke that was weird beause he had no accent before that.

Me: Do you want to go and talk to him now? I mean, there are two of us.

(I felt guilty by then because if that was the reason, pity him for having me shoo-ing him off like that. But my suspicion was still high, hold that thought.)

Girl: No. He showed me a piece of paper, with sex as the content.

That was it then. My suspicions were true. Unlucky for the girl because she had to face it.

I knew something was wrong because first, he askEd me in Bahasa Malaysia if I am Malay. No accent, no nothing. So how come he said he cannot speak Malay? Second, why would you want to approach a girl when there are plenty of men over there. I mean, it will be difficult for women to show how to do it anyways. Third, I don't buy the trick nobody do not want to teach him how to perform ablution. He can just enter the surau and watch people do it.

I over-analyse stuff all day; it is a handicap my friends always point out. But I am glad I over analyse stuff yesterday.

It pays to be vigilant ladies, especially if you are alone. Of course it is good manners to help someone but if your instinct tells you otherwise, please follow it. Take in all your surrounding and analyse the data that was given; does it fit or not? It is oke to be a bit cautious. Be ready to scream your heart out in case anything happens. Avoid walking anywhere with earphones plugged in your ears.

Because like my friend said: nowhere is safe these days.

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Accidental Shopping

It does exist, I can assure you. One moment you are humming to yourself, thinking of the lunch menus and before you know it BAM! You are several ringgit (or hundred) poorer but ouh! So much happier.

You think ' Nah, it would never happen. How is that possible? I am hungry and I really go out of the office to buy food, nothing else. Once I am full, I'd feel so much better. I wouldn't be looking at anything else.'

That is really not true. Once you are done with lunch and there is still time to spare, there will be so much walking around that you want to do. It does not matter where you are having lunch, as long as there are people selling stuff, it's just a catastrophe to happen.

I went to ge lunch, I end up with a purse. True, I need a purse but really not now. I know I have had my purse for nearly ten years and something are about to get faulty. The zipping mechanism now needs a lot of tugging but I honestly love it. You can no longer find a good leather purse at that price anymore.

Well, I should remember the inflation.

But I grabbed the purse, almost not thinking. It's on 70% off and I was unsure if there are more of the same range on rebate. It does not help with I have someone else beside you saying that i was a really good buy, you cannot possibly get anything from the same range at the same or almost similar price.

At the sound of the cash register, I can almost hear my heart sang. It was like music to my ears and the thought of having something new to open just made me happy. It was something new, something wrapped in a bag and the smell, ya..the smell. Who doesn't like the smell of new stuff. It's almost like getting a new breathe of 'fresh air' from snorting drug (metaphorically speaking. I never do drug except cough syrup).

As expected, guilt arrived a bit late. It must got delayed by the lunch traffic; foot or vehicle. It was panting at the door, gasping for breathe and I nearly missed it.

That was when it hit me; the guilt. My heart sank to the bottom of my stomach while I was still holding the bag of my new purchase. There were sweat on my forehead while my face was still smiling. I know; a walking contradiction.

Despite the bad taste in my mouth, I still cannot let it go. I know I should at least selling it back but I cannot bring myself to it. And here I am, looking at the purse, wiping beads of tears out of my eyes. It's so beautiful.

Well, I just had to say this, regardless of how cliche it could be:

' If this is wrong, I don't want to be right.' There, I said it.

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The Other Aishah

somehow, somewhere over the rainbow, I must have pen this down. this as in having another collague called aishah.

i worked in the company first so initially i wanted to kenakan her. like send some difficult work to her table and say 'someone gave this to aishah' (without telling my name of course). but it didn't materialise. something must have happened to me that I didn't pull the cheap trick.

anyways, I was sitting at my table, clicking away in the morning (very rare thing to see because i usually am more busy stuffing my face with food in the morning HA-HA) when suddenly my group leader came and said:

' 5, 6 and 7 December are oke, aishah.'

i went, yes, of course those dates were oke. i mean the mayans predicted the world would end sometime after and i planned to panic at around 19 december 2012 so of course i have nothing to worry about on those dates.

i turned my face to her say said 'huh?'

and she said: you asked about the leave, right?

innocently, i replied no. a look of comprehension dawned on her and she said something about 'siti emailed me bla bla.' I, on the other hand, was still having problem to comprehend what just happened. as usual, i used my feeble laugh to cover the story.

it was not until half midday i just found out that the other aishah emailed to ask for annual leave on those dates.

and i knew i should have said 'yes' when she asked if i requested for annual leave. i could have gone on leave using The Other Aishah's leave. darn it.

A Question At The Spa

To tell you the truth, it has been quite a stressful month for me. There is work to attend and more work to be done (personal project, basically) so it was not a wonder why suddenly pimples are having party on my face. I'm quite positive that there is an outline of a merry-go-round on my right cheek right now. Realising this (or actually being pointed out by someone), some sort of damage control has to be done. Thanks to a good friend, she managed to persuade me to go for a facial yesterday.

So, I picked up the phone and I was lucky enough that I got a slot after workI was supposed to meet someone and thank goodness she agreed on waiting for me. My last session was in August so I know that I would get an earful from the one who will be working with me. What with the increased consumption of coffee and lack of sleep, I was pretty sure that I would then be introduced to tons of products to buy (and I can assure you this is true).

However, nothing prepared me for a question that the dermatologist asked while I was getting comfortable on the bed, ready to have my face touched. I felt like I was thrown back to the days of exam questions and test papers, of assignments and courseworks, of open-book tests and 'open-book tests' that made me throw back the same question at the person. She asked 'what do you want to achieve from this session?'.

Darn it. That sounded a lot like what a future employer will be asking like 'how do you see yourself five years from now?' (like seriously? I can't even predict where I am about to eat dinner) or ' what do you want to benefit from the company?' (may I answer big fat paycheck, low stress level and extremely small workpile?). The spa was supposed to be a place for me to relax, it is an unforgivable sin to ask questions that make me think hard. I was supposed to be answering questions half-heartedly before saying 'no' to every product that I am supposed to be in 'extreme need of'. Not that.

I opened my eyes (I can assure you that was not an easy feat. There was very calming music playing on the background, a hint of ylang ylang in the air (or was it lavender? I can never be sure of flowers), low light and there were absolutely no noise in the room. Yes, a condition fit for a sleepy baby) and looked at her before repeating the question. She actually looked back at me (I can only guess as I took of my glasses), sitting cross-legged, a pen and paper in her hand. I can see it almost clearly (refer to the paragraph above on the short-sightedness of Yours Truly) in my mind right now.

The impact of the question was so huge that I felt compelled to write this post at this hour, approximately twenty four hours after the episode. Believe me or not, I was up yesterday (for a few minutes but still! That was a huge effort) thinking about all the cheeky answers and clever comebacks that I should have said.

For example:

' I would like to see a better me, spiritually more than physically.'

' It's of the utmost importance that I should be able to foresee the future after this particular session.'

or as simple as 'I would love to at least be able to curse in 19 languages or dialects.'

But none of it came. Just a feeble ' I would like to have clearer skin.'

Never, I say, underestimate anything. Never.

Budak Kecil dan Dilema

semalam lepak dengan budak kecil. aku memang byk kawan dengan budak kecik pun, tak kisah orang nak cakap apa. tak salah kot.

tapi aku kesian juga sebenarnya dengan budak-budak kecik yang kawan dengan orang veteran ni. terutamanya dengan budak kecik semalam. bila dah biasa dengan kami, susah sikit dia nak adjust dengan rakan sebaya.

yeah, we corrupt her good. not corrupt in a bad way (well, maybe a little bit haha) but maybe her way of thinking became a little bid advanced. mana nak layan dah pesen borak dengan kawan-kawan pasal budak lelaki hingusan ni (no offense but her classmates were mostly 18-year olds).

susah sebab dia kene juga kawan dengan rakan sebaya. lagipun, kami bukannya ada dekat dengan dia, jauh.

i have friends my age. i have friends younger than me. tapi okelah, nak borak dengan budak lagi muda pun mcm takde masalah sgt. alhamdulillah. but i envy them. they are so young, so many things to look forward to.

apa sajalah aku mengarut malam-malam ni. dah boleh tido kot.

Sakit

Kesian tak tgk muka ni?

Terus-terang aku katakan yang aku tunggu saja bila aku nak demam. Cuaca panas-sejuk-panas-sejuk-besi-pun-boleh-bengkok mcm ini mana boleh tahan. Captain America pun boleh hilang ketangkasan sebegini rupa.

 

Ini gambar diambil pada hari Sabtu. Hari Jumaat aku dah rasa semacam. Aku tinggalkan semua kerja hari sabtu lalu telan ubat batuk. Seronok, apatah lagi kalau dapat tidur tanpa perlu mimpi yang bukan-bukan. Tuhan sahaja yang tahu betapa aku rindukan tidur sebegitu.

 

Lebih kurang belas jam juga aku tidur pada hari Sabtu. Apatah lagi dengan cuaa yang memberangsangkan. Buku pun tak mampu baca, cuma mampu ulang-tayang Friends sahaja (mujur Ahad sudah sihat. Boleh tgk Daniel Craig lagi sekali. Hiks).

 

Yang tak berapa best, rasanya satu rumah demam. Dasar pemalas tak mahu pergi klinik cuma main telan ubat yang ada.

 

Lama rasanya dah tak demam. Mujurlah demam di hujung minggu. Kalau tak, melambak kerja.

 

Baiklah, sampai sini sahaja. Perlu fokus pada #PuisiTwitter bertema #Lagu ini malam.

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Hantu dalam kepala

Kalau selak-selak page diari yang lama-lama, rupanya masalah kerap sangat mimpi sampai tak dpt tidur berkualiti ini dah lama. Tarikh terakhir adalah 2011, Mac. Ya, di dalam diari fizikal. Saya sekolah lama macam tu.

Perenggan kedua ini nampak macam tiada kaitan. Jangan tertipu, ada sbnrnya. Aku nak cerita aku suka bercerita. Jadi ceritanya aku suka bercerita. Dari sekolah lagi, sekolah yang mana jangan tanya. Tetapi makin lama makin jarang pulak bercerita. Disebabkan jarang bercerita, aku syak (aku syak je la) semua cerita tu berpusu-pusu dalam kepala. Akibatnya, ia jadi mimpi yang seterusnya mengganggu tidur.

 

Kenapa aku rasa macam tu? Sebab sejak akhir-akhir ni bila aku mula bercerita semula, makin senang nak tidur. Dengan #PuisiTwitter, lagilah senang nak keluarkan cerita dalam kepala.

 

Hey, ini cerita aku sahaja. Mungkin salah. Baidewey, dah download edisi pertama #PuisiTwitter daripada www.puisitwitter.com? Boleh download sekarang

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Rebut

 

Pagi memang pemangkin untuk semua emosi. Kalau ada sesuatu yang bersifat tahi berlaku di pagi hari, boleh bikin jahanam mood seharian dibuatnya kalau tak kena gaya.

Lif di bangunan pun begitu juga. Selalu buat kemungkaran yang boleh menyebabkan sakit hati dan sakit dada. Sakit badan pun boleh juga. Nak tahu macam mana?

Semua orang berebut punch card. Kalau lambat nanti kedatangan pun merah. Bukan macam sekolah, setakat cikgu kasi amaran. Ini mahu melibatkan bonus atau gaji juga. Siapa nak bonus terjejas? Ya, betul, tiada.

Yang kecil, besar, tua, muda, lelaki dan perempuan semuanya berebut. Kalau setakat kena pijak kaki itu sudah jadi perkara biasa. Bila dah jadi macam itu, memanglah malas jadinya nak sumbatkan diri dalam lif. Lebih rela tunggu lif seterusnya.

Dan kejadian yang sama berulang. Aku lebih rela tunggu di luar sampai semua masuk baru aku masuk dan parking di depan pintu lif. Kalau penuh, aku cuma boleh telefon pejabat untuk beritahu aku akan lambat.

Berdasarkan perkara ini, bolehlah disimpulkan bahawa aku bakal jadi peserta pertama keluar dalam mana-mana siri realiti TV terutamanya Survivor kerana belum cukup hebat menerjah untuk merebut peluang.

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Sin

Forgive me for I have sinned. How can I not be when I had this at 10pm?

But it's so good, I kind of forget myself.

Excuse me, I have to go hide the rest of the cake.

 

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Skyfall

 

Hah tgk gua rilek je. Apa ada hal James Bond kan?

'Age does not guarantee maturity'

' Youth does not guarantee innovation'

 

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Meminta sedekah

Lihat! Semua pun boleh di Malaysia. Robot pun boleh minta sedekah di sini.

Oke baiklah. Sebenarnya ini di Legoland. Cerita dah basi pun tapi nak kasitau juga. Dari JB ke Legoland tambang teksi dalam MYR 40++. Bawak sunscreen, payung dan shades. Panas baq hang.

Makan secukupnya di rumah sebab kat dalam mahal oke.

Sekian dulu. Ini entri nak testing je sebenarnya.

Kebergantungan Teknologi

saya sudah jadi ketagih pada teknologi. dulu, tidak boleh tinggal telefon sebab takut nanti ada panggilan. sekarang, takut mahu tinggal telefon kerana kehidupan sudah sebati dengan telefon. biar saya jelaskan.

sejak akhir-akhir ini sudah tidak pandai pergi berbelanja sendiri. mesti ada orang yang meneman. kalau tidak kawan, mesti kawan-kawan dan ia untuk keperluan sekecil-kecil alam hingga ke barang bersaiz jumbo. wajib minta pendapat kawan, entah kenapa. padahal, kadang-kadnag nak beli tudung sehelai sahaja.

kisahnya, beberapa hari yang lepas pergi tengok-tengok barang seorang diri. niat di hati memanglah nak beli sesuatu tetapi sudah jadi kurang yakin tanpa sesiapa beri sebarang maklumbalas. maka, di sinilah terbukti kebergantungan teknologi.

acu kain sikit kat kepala, tangkap gambar, whatsapp. nampak baju lawa sikit, capture dan whatsapp. sanggup tunggu sampai ada komentar. selagi telefon senyap, sanggup pusing-pusing buat benda lain dulu. sekejap-sekejap belek telefon, tak boleh berenggang langsung. kalau boleh semua tempat nak usung telefon. rasanya kalau tak bawa telefon hari tu, memang akhirnya tak beli apa-apa.

ingatkan sudah berlalu zaman penjajah. rupanya, dijajah teknologi pula. -_____-

Takut yang dicari

Takut yang dicari

Spolier alert utk Sinister. Anda telah diberi amaran.

Entah apa gila hari ini, laju saja ajak rakan sekerja pergi tonton cerita menakutkan. Sinister, tajuk pun dah mengandung i mean mengundang. Itupun tak percaya lagi.

Tak baca review, sinopsis atau apa-apa. Pergi beli tiket wayang secara semberono dan melangkah penuh yakin. Masuk-masuk wayang baru tau ini kisah pembunuhan.

Baik, menarik. Ada pelakon lelaki yang kacak semasa muda. Eh hensem lagi. Hensem orang tua tu ada Ethan Hawke, jangan risau.

Sebenarnya saya susah sikit nak takut kalau tgk cerita seram daripada orang putih. Tah, tak berapa nak seram. Kalau Thai lain cerita. Masa Shutter dulu (ye, dah lama) siap terjerit dalam panggung lagi. Dahlah tak ramai orang dalam tu. memanglah kena target. Daym.

Malangnya, kali ini pun terjerit juga. Mau tak terkejut kalau nampak kepala macam tu. yang peliknya, orang lain tak jerit pula. Cis cis!

Kawan kat sebelah jangan cakaplah. Memang bangak kali tak pandang skrin dah. Part home videos tu, memang kami dah pegang-pegang tangan dah. Peluk sesama sendiri sebab takut. Feeling-feeling sleepover sangat dua orang perempuan ni.

Ethan Hawke ni pandai tau. Pandai tak bukak lampu sebab kalau dalam gelap, darjah kehenseman Ethan Hawke naik 30%. oke itu keji. Bahaha..

Tapi tgk cerita ni rasa macam nak baca tentang Bughuul ni la. Macam best pulak.

Dahlah tu. nak cuba tidolah walaupun masih disturbed dengan muka Ethan Hawke. Eh.


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Tenaga alternatif

Ini apa yang aku fikirlah.

Kita sibuk mentransformasi negara kepada negara K-ekonomi bla bla. Dengan diskaun untuk telefon pintar semasa bajet 2013 (sumpah tak faham kenapa susah sangat nak guna belanjawan. Bajet sangat buruk bunyinya) pastinya penggunaan elektrik makin tinggi. Itu belum lagi masuk isu kereta hybrid.

Memandangkan kita sudah ke arah itu, kenapa kita tidak lebihkan pelaburan untuk tenaga alternatif? Ambil sahaja tenaga solar. Dalam sehari, kita menerima lebih kurang lapan jam sinaran matahari. Aku bukan ahli fizik tetapi rasanya kalau tenaga itu boleh ditukar dan disimpan dalam bentuk tenaga elektrik, bukankah lebih memudahkan pengguna?

Memanglah Bakun dah nak siap tapi soalan aku kenapa kita tidak terus bantu penduduk seara terus? Duit BR1M kalau ditukar kepada bantuan panel solar kan bagus? Dalam jangka masa panjang pasti ada faedah. Itu hari dah ada orang ingatkan yang kerajaan sedang usahakan perkara ini. Soalan aku, kenapa lama sangat? Apa yang menghalang? Kita bukan bercakap sehari dua, sudah bertahun-tahun. Bukan minta bangunkan tidal energy atau wind energy (ya aku sangat tahu kita bukan di Belgium) tetapi ini tenaga yang kita dapat sehari-hari.

Ini kalau betul nak tolong rakyatlah kan? Kenapa tentukan rumah di sebahagian kawasan sahaja dapat panel solar? Aku cadangkan semua.

Tetapi itulah masalahnya. Berapa kerat sangat yang mahu melihat lebih jauh daripada BR1M?


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Tudung

Tudung

Lama aku betulkan tudung atas kepala. Penat sebenarnya melilit tudung, lebih-lebih lagi utk orang yang jelas tak suka berlatih macam aku.

Entah apa yang merasuk sampai rajin sangat nak pakai tudung macam tu sedangkan selalunya palai tudung bawal sahaja. Ringkas, mudah sebab aku takde masa nak bergaduh dengan tudung pagi-pagi buta. Bergaduh dgn eyeliner satu hal, takkan nak tambah dengan tudung pula.

Lilitan di leher sudah cukup kemas, nak sediakan awning pula. Penat aku jadinya, hembus dan hela nafas kerana tidak pernah berusaha sebegini rupa.

Sekejap aku sangkut di belakang telinga. Kemudian, terkebelakanh sedikit daripada anak tudung. Cuba pula betul-betul di atas dahi. Aku masih tidak puas hati. Rasa comot sangat. Sudahlah penat memilih tudung polkadot. Sekarang, rasa bodoh.

Dan aku terjaga selepas itu.

Ini sudah jadi diari mimpi. Kerana aku sedang mencari sesuatu daripada aktiviti elektrik dalam otak waktu badan sepatutnya berehat.


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Old school

in the middle of KL and we still have this. lucky yeah? 

just had to put this one up. taklah kodi sgt raya kat KL :P

Half-filled

the same old argument; half empty or hall filled? i am taking the more positive note of saying it is half-filled. What is half-filled? my year. pardon the usage of half, I am aware that there are only a few days left before we step into another year (given that the world did not end in December 2012 *pun intended). 

looking back, I dreamed of this before. not dream, more like wishing to have most of the things that I have now. In that case, I want to dream big. If I don't hit the star in the sky, I might hit the mountain. Mount Everest is good enough, no? 

By the way, this was among the trays of cornflake madu that I made. loved it (so much so that I cannot stop eating it). Bad habit. 

See, that was another thing to cross off my to-do-list. half-filled :)

Letih

[ pinjam kucing sepupu (mungkin si bertuah inilah yang selalu buang air besar di depan pintu bilik saya *sekeh)] 

seperti biasa, akan sampai satu tahap di mana saya akan terasa burnt out. Ini biasa terjadi bila kerja menimbun dan terasa tidak cukup masa untuk diri sendiri. 

Dulu, waktu mula-mula kerja, saya selalu fikir bahawa kita mesti kerja keras. Tidak perlu rehatkan diri sendiri, tidak perlu bercuti untuk recharge. Setelah beberapa lama, saya dapati ini adalah tidak bagus. Kenapa?

Kita ini macam mesin. Kalau mesin digunapakai terus-terusan, pasti akan rosak juga. Kadang-kadang enjin mesin perlu dihentikan. Sekejap pun jadi. 

Ah susah sangat. Kalau kita tidak cukup tidur, daripada mood elok boleh jadi jahanam kan? Daripada elok-elok cekap memandu, skill memandu boleh pergi ke laut dibuatnya kalau mengantuk. 

Kerja pun begitulah, pada pendapat saya. Perlu rehat, ambil angin, bercuti dua tiga hari di kampung misalnya. ataupun ke pulau. mana-manalah. 

Ahaiii...lambatnya masa berlalu :(

Nanny-in-training

nampak tidak bayi yang mempunyai pipi yang sangat mengagumkan itu? Ya, itulah Nafiz (mama dia yg pakai tudung polkadot yang saya suka itu). Comel tak comel tak? Oke jangan jawab. Memang comel nak arwah mih mih mih. 

Ini diambil pada 11 Ogos 2012. ye, mama Nafiz dan ayah Nawfal (tiada di dalam gambar) belanja makan-makan sempena hari ketuaan saya (ehem). maka, dapatlah jadi Nanny-In-Training untuk Nafiz ini (baca si pembuli). 

best kan? dapat buli dia sambil dibelanja pula. saya tau siapa yang akan jeles. untuk mengelakkan kena santau, tidak perlulah saya sendal nama mereka di sini. hi hi. 

12 tahun

[ delayed entry - 11 August 2012 ] 

Setiap perhubungan ada ranjaunya sendiri.

Saya rasa sangat bertuah kerana kami masih di sini; dua belas tahun kemudian. Dulu, dua budak cuba menjadi dewasa. Kini masih lagi berperangai mcm budak-budak, bezanya sudah layak sangat jadi dewasa. Sudah dewasa pun sebenarnya.

Dua belas tahun bukan sekejap. Bukan sekali dua kami bergaduh. Tetap kami masih di sini.

Sidekick, you are the sister that I never had.

Celebration

[ delayed entry 10 August 2012. Mak bz nyah ] 

Words cannot describe how lucky I feel today.

For managing a totally eventful year; a year of ups and downs, of tears and joy, of staying out and in hospitals. I can't even start saying how lucky I am to be able to live to this day.

Thank you for everything. I guess I am still lucky in getting wishes and whatnot today. It was indeed a joy to read everything that was sent today.

But most of all, thank you Emak; for bringing me into this world.

P/S: I had a suspicion that Emak went a bit emotional on the note ;).

Langkah

 

itu hari ada orang cakap:

' bayangkan kebarangkalian A bila kita membuat keputusan untuk memilih A. dapatkah kau bayangkan jalan kita hari ini kalau kau pilih B? dan kemudian C? terlalu banyak kemungkinan yang ada' 

A, B dan C mungkin adalah berkaitan dengan kerjaya. Siapa tahu. 

Saya membayangkan kalau dulu saya ambil keputusan tidak mahu tinggalkan Cyberjaya. Apa yang akan terjadi? Atau mungkin masih bekerja di pejabat pertama di belakang Pavilion (pasti banyak cerita hangat). Tetapi saya pilih untuk berada di sini. 

Pilihan. Bersyukur kita mampu membuat pilihan. 

Ini mengingatkan saya kepada apa yang terjadi semalam.  kita semua berhak memilih. mungkin dia memilih untuk bersama yang itu. seharusnya dia sedar bahawa menghulurkan hati kepada seseorang seolah-olah membiarkan kita mati. bila kasih sayang sudah habis direnggut dan hati dipulangkan, marah benar nampaknya. 

marah hingga jadi drama. drama murahan yang semua orang tonton. bukan sejam dua, malah sudah lebih kurang tiga hari drama ini berlangsung. habis telanjang cacat cela ketika bercinta. yang dulu tidak kisah (seperti hingus meleleh sampai ke dagu), hari ini mengungkit tak cukup tanah. jangan marahkan tukang sorak kalau anda sengaja bergaduh di tengah-tengah orang ramai. 

nak kata budak-budak, masing-masing dah boleh jadi mak bapak budak. kelakar ada, nak kasi penampar pun ada. 

bertempik, bersorak berhari-hari hanya menampakkan kebodohan diri sendiri. aku pernah buat sekali, malas nak buat lagi. hodoh sangat rupanya. 

awak pernah pilih jalan itu. tanggunglah akibatnya. belajar untuk jadi dewasa. 

pesanan untuk saya.

Sandakan Death March route

Location: Sandakan war memorial

There was nothing at the location. No one was there except for us and also the taxi driver. The location seemed a bit eerie and I couldn't bring myself to head to the Prisoner of War (POW) camps located at the back of the location. 

It was disheartening to see all the leftovers from the war. There were pictures of tickets to so-called concerts (what comes to mind was my life at a boarding school where we have to pretty much come up with our own entertainment) as well as pictures of soldiers smiling, not knowing what awaits them ahead. 

There were a few devices left from the era but it was taken vertically so you see, I am too lazy to turn them over. That explains the absence of it. 

There were certain sadness clinging in the air. I cannot imagine the life that POWs had to spent at this hilly camp. I thought I had the stomach to walk down the memory lane but I didn't. 

We stopped at the camp on our back from Sepilok. 

War Memorial

Location: Kundasang (pretty popular sign among the visitors, I was told)

I have to admit that I was only aware of the Death March in Ratchnaburi when in reality, there is another march here in Malaysia itself. This is the end of the trail for the death marched that started with 2,000 over armies and ended up with only six (correct me if I'm wrong). The trail started from Sandakan (45 minute flight from KK) so just imagine, walking in night and day. Based on the history written in Kundasang, the month happened to be the wettest (is there such a word?) for the year.

The only motivation was the end of Japanese armies' bayonet. Those affected with diseases or wounded are left to die (or shot).

There is a plate lining the names of the dead and missing armies from UK, Australia and of course, local people. It broke my heart to read the names of the missing soldiers when they can easily be very young. The oldest victim was about 50 over and he was the oldest.

There are not many WWII survivors left in the world. My grandfather came from the generation but he wasn't an army. Although the sad story is not for sale, I do believe that we should keep this for the next generation.

And now, where is the collection of WWII memoirs that I purchased months ago?

Dive deeper

Location: Heading to first snorkelling point

How I wish that I'd be able to be here again. It's not so much of the being away from the desk but the thought of being where I can listen to the crashing of the waves. 

This was the picture that we took before we dived into the water. It was my first time being in the sea without safety jacket. The only mistake that I made was wearing khakis pants that led me to nearly drown once I stop. 

Every time I think of this place, I will feel at peace. And all I have to do now is close my eyes to be there. 

And yes, I am awfully aware that I'm about to bore the living daylights of anyone who stumbled across this with my Perhentian memoir. 

Teh O

puasa hari kesembilan, akak tak mangket sahur u'olls. oke, bangunlah sebenarnya tapi dah jadi macam sahur zaman student. bukak mata hanya untuk minum teh o. ha elok sgt. nasib baik tak pengsan petang tadi.

ceh. ceh. padahal belum ada sejarah orang mati sebab puasa. drama sangat. 

tapi saya syak sebenarnya gegeh tgk olimpik. itu sebab tak jadi pengsan. pengsan di sini bermaksud pengsan secara literal. 

sbnrnya nak tgk judo, taekwondo tu. tapi macam tade org nak tgk je. set-set tgk lumba basikal. tapi dapat tgk Hungary- Slovenia judo tadi pun lepaslah. dia punya ganas lain macam. 

bercakap ttg olimpik, seronok betul tgk opening olimpik itu hari. nampak kemas dan detailnya cukup. dah lama tak tgk muhammad ali, itu hari dapat tgk dia. tapi dia dah sangat lemah. rasanya dia tak boleh berdiri. kesian juga perempuan yang pegang dia untuk berdiri tu. dah la bekas ahli gusti. tapi agak tak senonoh juga tunggu habis opening terus tido. nasib baik tak bangun hari isnin. 

sbnrnya (dah berapa kali taip sbnr tah) sangat gembira. bukan selalu dapat jumpa kawan yang sudi mengingatkan kita apa yang kita lupa. lupa diri, lupa daratan, lupa asal-usul; pilih satu. jadi, seronok berbual dengan gadis itu sampai tidur terbabas sampai hampir pukul satu. 

kawan datang dan pergi. tetapi saya berharap sangat saya dapat terus berkawan dengan orang-orang yang saya dapat jumpa sekarang. disebabkan mata sudah semakin kuyu, apa kata kita berhenti dulu di sini?

Perhentian....Again

Location: Perhentian-Redang-Lang Tengah

A bit of an unplanned trip this year, going with a friend this time. A new experience since she is a new friend.

Three days are never going to be enough to be going to a place like this. Just look at the water, so blue and clear. The breeze and the scenery, brought tears to my eyes. It's such a pity that I cannot take pictures in the water or I might have shared it here.

InsyaAllah, God's will I will visit this place again

Dedah Perasaan

momen-momen (maafkan saya cikgu Bahasa Melayu) yang sekejap itu akan tetap kekal sampai bila-bila.

babak dicedok terus dari layar perak, siapa sangka akan terjadi juga di alam seharian.

bagaikan ada sesuatu yang membuatkan kita terpaku di situ. cuma dua saat. dua saat yang entahkan bila akan dilupakan.

ah kalau makin panjang, hilang ide aku nak bercerita.

Bird Park

Al tanoor, The Last Luncheon (before Ramadhan)

Location: Pavilion

The last lunch I had with a good friend. I took a half day on this day just to watch movies before the start of the fasting season.

We talked about nothing and everything; just like we always do. Nothing special there. Both of the teapots contained teas; mine Arabic tea and hers Lemon. Mine was good up until we discovered the teapot was cracked. Had it changed when my cup was already full. Good day indeed.

This was the day that Laszlo Csatary, the most wanted Nazi war criminal was discovered in Hungary. 

Morning walk

Location: Perhentian Besar

We woke up late on the island, again. The picture was taken on the second day of our stay at the place I was supposed to wake up at about 6 am to see the sun rise but this is good enough I guess. There was no one on the island, even the guides have just risen. Leaving the keys  beside my friend's pillow, I proceeded to walk to the beach, taking in fresh air. 

This time there were no people milling around on the beach so I pretty much have the whole place to me. It was melancholic, almost taking me to a place that I have never known. I should have sat on the sand and take more pictures but then again, people start coming to the beach to wait for their bots. 

I met Hakeem, a banker from Switzerland who came here with his family. We chatted quite a bit, more on me not being able to talk French anymore (haha!) and about Eurozone. A bit on the part where I would love to go to Finland (Hakeem said: It's a bit cold there with the nice scenery. Just that the cost of living is quite high). 

We actually got to talking when I was trying to help him with his father who seemed a bit anxious that the bot is still not there. We did not exchange numbers anyways. Sad. 

We talked a little bit until 8am, the time being our breakfast call. 

Ramadhan tiba lagi

Tak banyak yang dapat dikatakan pada awal Ramadhan ini. Cuaca sejuk dan nyaman, mengundang rasa mengantuk. Semoga Ramadhan ini membawa berita gembira untuk kita. Tidak seperti tahun lepas, jadi penghuni hospital.

Jadi, sudah fikir juadah berbuka belum? ;)

KL Bird Park

I might as well volunteer at this place since I visit the place on a daily basis. Third visit this time actually. No thanks to lousy smartphone battery, I missed most of the pictures of nice birds.

The visit this time was special because two of my friends came down from Perak. It was the usual route (about 9k steps or so) and apparently, there were so many other families present. Apart from seeing the birds, we did have fun looking at the cute babies.

These two birds were found in the macaw cage (we were so tired when we reached the area and practically dying because of the heat). These are cute little birds that you can feed with a small sum of donation (after the RM 25 entrance fee with MyKad).

There were more peacocks milling around the park compared to the last time. Storks were also everywhere and we can actually get quite close to them.

We had fun. Tons of em. We missed the bird feeding but that definitely did not stop us from gawking at the birds.

And no bird pooped on us. That itself is an achievement!

Traffic

There was a certain need to move faster, weaving in and out of the existing two-way traffic. The moving object in front was moving hesitantly. This caused the whole dynamic to turn into chaos. Everybody was moving fast in both directions. Apparently, work on the table was piling up.

Still, more obstacles stood in the way. Again, the same weaving in and out technique is used. Bad luck called when someone was taking their own sweet time in front. Jumping the queue seemed rude and out of question.

Suddenly, there was an opening. Without delay, one moved forward. Ah, and there it is! The toilet entrance.

Impian. Harapan.

Impian. Harapan.

Saat kau cagarkan impian untuk memberi harapan, saat itu separuh diri kau sudah mati.

Apalah makna kehidupan kalau hak cipta impian sudah diserahkan bulat-bulat pada saudagar mimpi?

Bagai menulis surat wasiat kemudian berdiri di depan bas RapidKL.

Tetapi inilah hidup. Cagar impian, jual maruah hanya untuk bayar bil menimbun setiap bulan.

Dan esok, aku masih seperti biasa; turut serta dalam 'rat race'.


Sent from my iPad

Mimpi

Mimpi

Bermimpi itu tidak pernah salah. Yang salah adalah tidak mengerjakan akan mimpi sendiri.

Pernah tidak kita lihat diri sendiri dan bertanya 'adakah aku berada di tempat yang aku ingini?'

Ye, aku sedang mencari jawapan akan soalan itu.


Sent from my iPad

Memory of yesteryears

Memory of yesteryear

Yesteryears la sangat. Nevermind, let's just get on with the story. The story of a faithful partner that stays by your side, through thick and thin.

It's rare that we can find such a good friend that helped us push through. Despite the struggle, they are always there; helping us to get through even the smallest obstacle.

Does not matter if you are sad, mad or just lonely, they are always there to listen to your woes and stories. Only the luckiest among the few happen to chance on them.

Having said that, I consider myself to be one. On penniless days during my study years, this one particular friend was there, pushing me through. There are days when I was too tired to face the world but this friend did not see that as a liability. In fact, I got my personal motivatoe just for that.

Through thick and thin;
Day and night;
Happy and sad;
Poor and with some money;
Maggie mee, you ae always there.

For that, I will always treasure you :)

Tunnel traffic

I walk through KLCC every single day, usually without fail. Well, with the exception that someday I don't feel like it and decides that walking near the park is good for me on a particular day.

Day in, day out I will be passing the tunnel from my workplace. I suppose by now, I should be bored to death by the routine. And it feels like a sin not to be bored by it as I type this.

This tunnel is used by many people, usually those who takes Putra to head to Pavilion for example. So, one can imagine how fast these people are walking; with their headphones on and swinging their briefcases, handbags, iPads and stuff. They don't stop at nothing (from my observation) and they don't really care about anything. This includes swerving into your path as you try to beat the time as well as people from the opposite lane trying to get past you.

Hence, I strongly believe that the tunnel should be divided into two lanes in order to ensure the smoothness of the traffic. It doesn't do me good when I am trying to tweet while people keep barging into me.

Routine

I have to say that I am a creature of habits. This include (but not limited to) by the routine of falling asleep too late, dreaming of the alarm going off an hour after it actually is supposed to give a sound and having a specific method of turning the pages of the book.

Somehow, it got programmed in my head, enabling me to move in the auto pilot mode. This is the mode that is the most important when you are about to lose your mind because you are A) too tired B) too sleepy C) had to call the girlfriend or boyfriend before they go bonkers.

It might also be become a habit like you know exactly where your toothbrush is or where you last dropped your favourite shawl (this one I fondly call as 'organised mess'). Isn't it extremely useful to just walk into the bathroom and reach for the toothbrush without even stopping to think about its location?

Now, can you imagine the chaos that took place when someone changed the order of the shampoo and shower foam? I am already short-sighted as it is and sleepy. I cannot even be sure if I use shower foam on my hair or did I really use shampoo. It is hard to tell. I only realised what has happened when I was about to exit the bathroom. By then, I was too tired to even care.

Kempen Derma Darah (#TwtupDarahCP 2.0)

Semalam telah berlaku satu kejadian di mana ramai orang yang selama ini memenuhkan susur masa Twitterjaya telah menghadirkan diri ke Sime Darby Medical Center (eh ke eja centre? My England is not powderful) utk menderma darah.

Macam biasa, malas nak mengarang maka kita tepek gambar sahaja.

ini adalah buku rekod anda. berlainan dengan report card di sekolah, kalau anda ada buku ini dan penuh komen, anda badass. oke maafkan penggunaan kata tersebut.

memperkenalkan, pengarah program. rasanya nama dia bell_on. oke maaf nabila. gurau sahaja.

sebelum derma darah, kita kene makan dulu tau. memperkenalkan sebahagian daripada yang terjebak dalam program ini.

nantikan, kalau awak tak makan sebelum menderma, akan jadi mcm ni, terpaksa didokong orang.

maaf, jika anda mempunyai tendency sebegini, anda tergolong dalam golongan orang yang tidak boleh menderma. ada dekat poster SDMC tau. bukan saya saja cakap.

perhatikan reaksi si tudung merah. ish ish korang ni. senonoh sikit.

btw, itu si syaiton atau azfar yang datang juga sebab tak tahan dibuli bahahha.

dah makan, setelah sudah pemikiran dijahanamkan, lek dulu, online. of course, sambil twitjeck org.

ala dramatik habis. cari urat je pun.

dia single dan dia juga single. email for enquiry. kbai.

dmekdy said 'it's a boy!'

inilah pemandangan dari luar. penuh kan? seronok tau.

baiklah, kami ingin mengucapkan terima kasih yang tidak terhingga kepada semua yang telah menyokong program ini. tak kiralah yang hadir atau tidak, yang menderma atau tidak dapat menderma, terima kasih. terima kasih banyak-banyak.

jumlah darah yang terkumpul semalam: lebih kurang 90++ beg :).

jadi, lain kali kalau ada lagi, nak datang tak?

Pictures: credit to @Mytheorem

Elevator

Elevator

Now, I am pretty sure what the management of our office building is doing.

You see, it is nearly two weeks since one of the elevators in our tower broke down. There four elevators for our tower with I don't know how many millions of offices in that part alone.

Naming it just as tower is boring. Let's give a name to it like Titan. Oke that sounds good. Don't ask me why. I'm bored out of my skull.

Anyways, I was stranded at the ground floor for a good ten minutes, resulting in getting late to the office. Not really that late but I would want to have the option of going back early. And so I stood there, refreshing my mailbox (not work-related, of course) just to kill time. Not only I kill time, I do have a feeling that I might have killed myself too.

Standing there, I noticed a few things. One, I realised that there were many people in Titan. Second, this is the opportunity to get to know each other. After all, disasters bring us together right? Nothing beats that. This is the time to get to know who works on which floor (perfect exercise for singles who are looking for partners or those who wish to make new friends) and maybe, get to know your future bosses (maybe considering to move to ye lower floor perhaps?).

I do notice some people had enough of it and resorted to climbing the stairs. Now, this is part of an perfect plan too. I think you do realise that we are fighting this obesity problem worldwide. I am not implying that those working nearby are heavy; I am just trying to make you think that I was trying to imply that prevention is better than cure. Forget the gymnasium, forget the expensive fees. This is a great way to lose weight the free way. Walk down and up the stairs for two weeks and I am pretty sure there will be noticeable difference, especially near the waistline. Provided there were no intervention of nasi lemak, teh tarik or frappuchino (including but not limited to).

This bus trip is nearing to an end. Forget what ever I said on the top part, the building is just waiting for spare parts I think. And I am so going to flip if it is still down. Have a nice day.

Law of Attraction

Law of Attraction

You know the one that people talk about that when you thing about good stuff, it will come to you? Ah yeah. That.

I don't buy it. Let me explain.

I choose the bus as my main type o transportation daily. Just for fun. I love being packed in a bus every morning jut for the heck of it. Oke kidding. This place is so packed with cars that only one with willpower can wake up extremely early in the morning just to exit this place. I do 't have enough tenacity to try to push everyone off the road so I can move forward. Or I never try before. Whatever.

Anyways, the bus stop is not really far from my house. I can hear the engine everything it passes by. So, imagine the frustration when I run around in my room, trying to get hold of the bag, book, papers, documents (crap! I forgot my cheque) and sunblock (this was just thrown it just to make this paragraph longer) and.....wait for it.....the bus comes along. Not one, mind you, but can be several at times.

And then, when I am done doing the little dance routine in my room, I hear the last bus passes. Thinking positively that the trend will continue, I march down to pick my shoes. March calmly to the bus stop (while struggling with The Papers That Can Never Be Tamed) and wait.

Ten minutes before a single bus passes by. When I say a 'single bus', j pretty much mean it can either be a schoolbus or the shuttle to UM.

Why couldn't my positive thinking move another bus to pass at the front of my bus? So much for the Law of Attraction.

Travelling

Ah remember the moment that you get so excited to spend the few remaining ringgit in your bank just so you can escape reality for a few moments? The elated feeling of seeing the 0s turning into 0. Isn't it exhilirating?

Obviously I was joking. Travelling, especially in groups with a tour guide, is just another way of tiring yourself. Imagine submitting to the long hours of sitting in the bus and going off and on the bus every few hours. Not much to do except just to stare out the windows (and missing the moments to capture the 'babi panggang' pictures) and try to carry out the conversation with a colleague that you talk to every once a week. Well, it my case it is very different. More like once a month just to see who is able to predict when is our paycheck going to come in.

It is the nature of the job, solitary thinking. I am no social hermit, no.

Anyways, back to the story, the days when you get so excited of planning what to bring and what to not bring during a trip is long gone. As long as you put something in the bag, there will be at least one thing that you will absolutely not use. Or touch. Or don't even know you bring. You will always end up having too much either you bring one jeans or two jeans.

Travel light? What is travel light? I have no idea how to do it, no matter how hard I tried too. My toiletries takes up nearly two third of my bag anyways. Yes, honey, I tried putting it in small bottles. I swear they get bigger once they get nto my bag. I have no idea how they do it.

I came back from Medan last week. It was part of my dream to visit Lake Toba so that is one place i am crossing off my list of 'Places To Visit (To Spend The Money That Was Supposed To Be For My Retirement)'.

I made the mistake of bringing a cardigan instead of a sweater (straight guys, thereis a definite difference between those two).

But i had fun. Kind of.

Buat Main

buat main ni kononnya macam berlawaklah. macam awak buat lawak dengan kawan-kawan awak.

kawan-kawan boleh buat main. anak raja jangan. macam mana pun awak kena mengaku juga kita tak duduk dalam zaman yang ideal. dia ada harta dan kuasa. awak ada apa?

sekarang pergi duduk di sudut dan fikirkan apa yang awak dah buat.

Unwanted Child

Ini apa yang dipersembahkan di dalam Freakonomics tetapi memang makes sense. Unwanted child bukan hanya bermaksud bastards tetapi anak-anak yang tidak diterima oleh keluarga. Contohnya, untuk keluarga yang masih belum sedia untuk menerima seorang anak tetapi dah pun ada seorang anak. Mungkin juga keluarga yang rasa keluarga sudah cukup besar tetapi terlanjur pula. Sebab dah 'berisi', takut nak buang.

Bayangkan hidup di dalam keluarga dengan tak dapat kasih sayang. Hidup di bawah bayang-bayang adik-adik dan abang-abang. Mungkin juga tidak dipedulikan ibu dan ayah. Sedih sangat bukan?

Jadi, apa yang perlu dilakukan untuk menarik perhatian ibu bapa? Selalunya kalau di dalam hal ini, unwanted kids will become troubled kids. Daripada troubled kids, upgrade lagi sikit jadi criminals pula.

Nampak atau tidak masalah sekarang? Nampak tidak bahawa kita mungkin ada masalah hang berat mungkin dalam 30 tahun akan datang. Betapa banyaknya unwanted kids (yang dibuang misalnya) yang ada potensi tinggi untuk menjadi troubled kids dan penjenayah nanti. Sekalipun mungkin ada keluarga yang akan mengambil bayi-bayi yang terbuang ini, masalah tetap aka ada.

Bukanlah nak cakap yang bayi yang tidak dibuang keluarga akan jadi orang baik-baik tetapi mengapa mesti tambah statistik? Risaukan kalau kalau statistik bayi terbuang yang bakal jadi troubled kids, teenagers dan kemudian adults.

Jadi, bagaimana? Bagaimana untuk membendung masalah ini? Apakah yang boleh kita lakukan sebagai sebuah masyarakat? Masalah yang mungkin nampak enteng sekarang tetapi bakal menjadi nanah satu hari nanti.

Penyelesaian yang diberikan dalam buku Freakonomics mungkin sangat ekstrem. Tetapi, it works. Bukanlah aku menyokong tteapi mungkin kita patut cari penyelesaian pada masalah ini.

Ini cuma kerisauan yang diterjemah di sini, itu sahaja. Penyelesaiannya mungkin tidak begitu mudah tetapi mungkin kita semua boleh berbuat sesuatu di masa depan.

Ye, busuk sebab bentangkan masalah tapi tak bagi penyelesaian. Bahahaha!

Buta

' Stay with the feelings.'

Ash merungut dalam hati. Hantu. Bukan kau yang kena, bolehlah kau cakap. 

' Ganda dua,' Adif bersuara sambil menghirup teh ais milik Ash.

' Sakitlah gila' Ash bersuara seakan merintih.

' Sekarang kau faham tak? Sekarang kau nak mengaku tak dia memang ada enzim mughallazah dalam perut dia?' Adif bertanya sambil bersandar, beg sandang hitam dibetulkan duduk di atas perut. Riak wajah Adif cukup untuk menjelaskan yang dia ingin benar mengatakan 'aku dah cakap, kan?' pada Ash.

' Tak salah mencuba, kan?' Ash mengacau teh ais yang hanya luak suku sahaja. Di meja sudut terhimpit itu juga yang masih menjadi pilihan mereka. Meja yang jadi tempat rasmi Adif dan Ash hampir setiap hujung minggu.

Adif mengeluh. Kuat bunyinya. ' Inilah dia orang perempuan. Berharap sangat lelaki akan berubah. Berharap tak kena pada tempat.'

' Manalah tahu..' tetapi gelengan kepala Adif menghentikan hujah Ash yang baru separuh keluar.

' You girls are so caught up in storybooks and cheesy movies that you cannot differentiate reality anymore. It is so simple. A bye means a bye. Kenapa yang susah sangat nak faham?'

Nada suara Adif mungkin tidak tinggi tetapi cukup menghentam hati Ash.

' Maaf, aku patut... but...haih,' kesian pula Adif melihat Ash terlopong di depannya sekarang. ' Maaf, it came out wrong, Ash. A relationship guru like me...'

' Relationship gurulah sangat,' Ash mengejek kembali.

' Eh kau lupa ke filem Hitch? Single punya single sekali ambik kau!'

' Ha yelah. Nak sangat,' Ash tersenyum.

Hari ini mereka bertemu lagi. Masih lagi di tempat yang sama dengan menu yang bertemakan teh. Masalah juga masih sama; dilema cinta Ash. Atau perhubungan. Biasalah, adat orang bujang. Boleh dikatakan, itulah yang mengikat persabahatan mereka, Adif sebagai kaunselor tidak bergaji Ash. Dan Ash pula sentiasa setia mengumpul masalah.

Perkenalan mereka penuh dengan kebetulan. Kebetulan hari itu mereka menonton wayang seorang diri. Kebetulan Adif baru sahaja ditinggalkan kekasih tetapi kerana sayangkan tiket wayang, dia pergi juga menghadap filem Pirates of the Caribbean. Barisan kerusi untuk dua orang hanya berisi Adif dan Ash. Di dalam keadaan separa gelap selepas tayangan filem, Adif mula berbasa-basi dengan Ash. Kebetulan cadangan itu disambut dan sekarang, mereka di sini. Ash dengan kisah cintanya yang sentiasa pelbagai dan Adif pula setia menjadi kaunsellor tidak bergaji.

' Aku serius, Ash. Tolong berhenti cipta alasan untuk mereka. Learn to take things literally,' Adif menyambung bicara yang masih melekat di kepala. Walauapapun topik yang diceritakan, akan ada satu topik yang sangat melekat di kepala Adif.

' Kau tak faham, Adif. Aku bukan makin muda,' Ash tunduk.

Adif tahu ada air bergenang di mata Ash. ' Oi. Janganlah nangis. Nanti lens kau keras,' Adif menolak tangan Ash dengan telefon bimbit.

' Kau lainlah...' suara Ash bergema lagi. Sedih sangat bunyinya.

' Apa yang lainnya? Ash, kau cuma dua tahun lagi tua daripada aku. Berhenti mengarut boleh?'

' Kau senanglah cakap. Siapa yang nak pada aku nanti kalau dah tua-tua sangat?' Ash menjeling sambil tersengih lalu pandangan dialihkan keluar restoran. Adif kagum sangat dengan perempuan ini. Kagum bagaimana cantiknya senyuman Ash walaupun jelas kesan air mata di pipi.

' Aku nak!'

Ash memandang Adif semula lalu tergelak. ' Dah selalu sangat kau cakap macam ni..' Ash menarik pinggan berisi donut di depan Adif. Rapatnya mereka hingga tidak kisah berkongsi makanan langsung.

' Kau nak aku buktikan?' Adif merenung wajah Ash terus.

Ash hanya tergelak. ' Kaukan dah brozone aku?'

' Bila aku cakap aku brozone kau?' Adif bertanya. Kali ini Ash pula yang terdiam. Mata mereka tidak lepas merenung wajah masing-masing.

' Macam mananya yang kau rasa aku brozone kau? Dengan bercakap dengan kau hampir setiap hari? Dengan sentiasa ada untuk kau?' Adif tenung wajah Ash makin dalam. Anehnya manusia, yang ada depan mata pun tidak nampak.

' Kau...cerita semua benda kat aku?' Adif tiba-tiba jadi sangat serius.

Adif mengeluh. ' Kau ni, samada terlalu naif ataupun kau tak faham brozone tu maksudnya apa. Apa yang selalu aku cerita dekat kau?' orang seperti Ash perlu dirangsang otaknya untuk berfikir.

' Urm...semua?'

Adif mengeluh lagi. Kalau boleh, mahu sahaja diherdik 'muka cantik tapi bimbo'. Masalahnya, Ash tidak bimbo. Satu lagi, Ash tidak cantik tetapi comel. Comel sangat.

' Baiklah. Soalan itu mungkin susah sangat, kita tukar soalan lain.Takkanlah kau tak tahu kenapa aku selalu nak jumpa kau?' nada suara Adif kini keras. Satu, kerana dia geram dengan Ash. Dua, jantung Adif kuat menghentam tulang rusuk saat ini. Lama betul menyimpan perasaan. Takut nanti semua jadi kusam.

' Kau...urm... bosan?' Ash pula yang gagap. Seperti ingin mengisi masa yang terluang, donut yang di tangan disumbat laju-laju ke dalam mulut.

Jawapan Ash buatkan Adif tergelak. Sehari suntuk setiap minggu mengisi masa dengan Ash dalam masa dua tahun ini, agak mustahil juga kalau nak mengatakan Adif cuma bosan. Apa yang kelakar sangat dia ni?

' Serius kau rasa aku cuma bosan? Seharian mengadap muka kau, sambung pula di telefon, kau kata aku cuma bosan. Ash...' Adif memandang gadis di depannya dengan muka tidak percaya.

' For someone who talks so much about age, you seem to be so inexperienced.' Adif mula mengambil beg yang kini sudah di lantai.

' Kau nak pergi mana? Adif!' Ash gelabah. Ini kali pertama dia lihat Adif begini.

' You are a hopeless case, tahu?' dengan kata-kata itu, Adif meninggalkan Ash.

' What?' berdesing telinga Ash. Mula-mula Adif bertanya soalan yang bukan-bukan, melenting pula selepas itu dan sekarang menuduh yang macam-macam. Seperti lelaki itu pula sedang mengalami gangguan hormon.

Disebabkan tidak mahu menarik perhatian di dalam kedai, Ash pantas memanggil Adif yang sudah sampai di pintu. Dengan selamba Adif berpaling pada Ash sambil memegang telefon dan membiarkannya berdering.

Sengaja nampaknya. ' Aku hopeless case?' Ash terpaksa meneguk air hingga habis kerana marah sangat.

Freakonomics: Saya rasa

Saya belum berkesempatan membaca Freakonomics. Baru tahu tentang buku itu pun baru-baru ini. Ia mengenai ekonomi dalam dunia sebenar. Tentang eksperimen yang dijalankan ke atas situasi berdasarkan demografik dan latar belakang pendidikan.

Menarik, tetapi tak puas. Memang dah dasar ulat buku, kerjanya memang tidak puas sentiasa.

Secara jujur, Freakonomics cuma sebuah dokumentari yang dibawakan ke atas layar perak (dah kenapa ayat kau feeling-feeling orang buat review kat suratkhabar?). ala, macam korang tengok dekat astro tu. ada orang duduk-duduk, cakap-cakap lps tu ada live spesimen kasi komen (atau komplen). He's Not That Into You pun semenggah lagi.

Tapi, untuk RM 7 saya tak kisah. Cuma, mungkin filem itu tidak menarik perhatian atau tiada promosi; hanya tiga orang di dalam panggung.

Saya...tak galakkan sangat pergi tonton di wayang. Maafkan saya, Freakonomics.

Entah

entah. persoalan datang kiri kanan.

ingat saat ini. saat kau rasa kosong sangat. saat kau rasa yang meneman kau hanya kerja pejabat. teman kau cuma riuh-rendah suara ria orang lain.

ingat supaya kau akan mengerti betapa hari ini, hati ini kau yang jaga sendiri, cukup gembira.

saat kau suka seseorang adalah saat di mana kau hulurkan belati untuk dia robekkan hati kau sesukanya.

aku tak perlu ingatkan kau pada siapa kau harus kembali. itu kau tahu sendiri.

Take a Bath

note: cubaan berotak suci. cerita kanak-kanak.

Adli sat alone in the classroom. The other boys and girls were busy playing and talking at the back of the class during recess. However, nobody wants to invite him play with them. So, Adli had to resort to sitting alone at his place eating the sandwich his mother made.

Adli was sad but he could not understand why his friends treated him that way.

When Adli got home, he sat at the dining table and reflected on what happened in school. Adli realised that it happened almost everyday. Almost no one wanted to play with him although there was nothing wrong with him. He never bullied anyone and never caused troubles. Hence, he can never understand why he was always alone.

‘ Adli, have you eaten?’ Mama suddenly came from behind. Adli just shook his head and said nothing.

‘ Are you alright, dear?’ Mama asked while she walked to sit in front of Adli.

‘ Mama, my friends does not want to play with me. Why?,’ and Adli started to cry.

Mama did not say anything. For sometime, Mama just held Adli in her arms.

‘ Adli, I think I know why they did not want to play with you,’ Mama finally held Adli at arms length.

‘ Why?’ Adli asked between sobs.

‘ You have to take a bath more often,’ Mama said softly. ‘ Did any of your friends say anything about your odour?’

Adli hung his head in shame. He remembered a few times that his classmates said that he stinks.

‘ Hurm?’ Mama asked again.

‘ Yes,’ Adli answered in a small voice.

‘ So, tomorrow morning, we get up a little bit early and have a real good scrub before school, ok?’

Adli smiled.

The next morning, Adli woke up earlier than usual and scrubbed himself thoroughly. Usually, he will spend about ten minutes but today he put in extra effort. This time, Adli did not say anything when Mama powdered his body.

It was worth it because today, Adli had more friends to play with. Nobody pinched their nose when they walked beside his table.

Adli will always take a bath before school from now on. 

Bunohan...saya rasa

ini memang jenis filem yang saya tunggu. berlakon bukan bermakna penonton akan dihenyakkan dengan dialog berjela yang boleh disampaikan hanya dalam dua tiga baris ayat. filem juga tidak bermaksud kosmetik melampau para pelakon sehingga ia jadi makin jauh dengan penonton.

Bunohan membuka ruang baru untuk filem melayu berkembang lebih jauh. syotnya cantik (tahniah Director of Photography), ceritanya dekat dan 'jiwanya' benar. berapa ramai daripada anda yang pernah mendengar perbahalan keluarga berkaitan dengan tanah dan wang?

kami tiba sedikit lewat di pawagam tetapi gambar di skrin yang menjemput kami cukup memuaskan hati. mungkin agak ganas aksi 'bergocoh' Adil tetapi apalah sangat kalau nak dibandingkan dengan X-Men, kan? bukan selalu dihidang aksi bergaduh yang 'raw' begini dalam filem tempatan. 'bergaduh' atas katil itu mungkin selalu sangat.

enter Faizal Hussein. Faizal Hussein berlakon dengan riak muka dan gaya. bercakap bila perlu sahaja. dan ia cukup kena dengan beliau. saya kira, ilham ini yang paling mahal. well, siapa yang tidak suka dengan orang yang misteri bukan?

saya hampir tidak mengenal Shoffi Jikan di dalam filem ini. Dia sebagai Awang Sonar kelihatan lain benar. Kalau tidak kerana saya sudah tahu dari awal yang dia merupakan salah seorang pelakon, sampai ke sudah saya tidak tahu siapa Awang Sonar.

Bakar adalah contoh manusia yang sering dilihat di dalam masyarakat. cengkamannya mungkin halimunan, tetapi ianya cukup benar. lintah yang menyedut darah masyarakat setempat, bertopengkan wajah yang cukup suci.

saya dibawa jauh di dalam cerita dengan jiwa. tiada lagi 'ceramah' kata yang menyemak. ambil sahaja contoh ini:

" dunia ini banyak dugaan. padi pun kadang-kadang tidak menjadi. ikan pun sama juga." ini merupakan arahan berbaur ugutan, menyuruh Jolok meracun ikan Awang Sonar lantas memaksa gelanggang gocoh untuk dibuka semula. maafkan saya sebab ayat tersebut bukan dalam dialek asal. tiada lagi arahan berjela mahu buat macam mana, tempat di mana dan bagaimana. ingat, ketua gangster tidak buat micro-managing, samalah dengan bakar.

syot-syot yang diambil bukan kerja sambil lewa. cantik, memang cantik. tidak mendatar, bermain dengan sudut perspektif untuk menimbulkan jiwa. bukan hanya syot poskad, sebaliknya sisi-sisi sedih turut dimuatkan sama.

maafkan sahaja dialek kelantan yang dituturkan. ada yang lidahnya keras, dialek kelantannya tidak selembut biasa. telinga yang sudah biasa terlatih pasti tahu, saya yakin benar. secara keseluruhan, saya faham apa yang disampaikan. terjemahan cuma membantu untuk memastikan apa yang saya tidak begitu pasti. cuma, wajah Bakar tidak cukup cunning mungkin. Mungkin. dan kenapa announcer di gelanggang gocoh tak ckp dialek Kelantan? rugi kot.

saya tidak punya masalah dengan cerita ini. unsur mistik yang dikatakan sebagai penyedap oleh ramai orang sebenarnya pelengkap. apalah filem tentang cara hidup orang Melayu kalau tidak terselit kisah mistik? ini kebenaran yang diselindungkan atau terlindung oleh orang-orang bersikap ideal. mahu tak mahu, kita terpaksa mengaku unsur mistik masih lagi tebal dalam jiwa orang Melayu.

kalau anda tak mahu mengaku, anda sebenarnya malas atau angkuh. cari sebabnya sendiri. dan ingat, mengaku tidak bermaksud setuju. mengaku mungkin bermaksud tahu dan mahu mengubah.

sesiapa yang pernah menyertai sebarang jenis silat mesti faham maksud saya. yang rajin melihat pada wayang kulit dan main puteri juga tahu. jadi, soal saka Mek Yah dan budak kecil si pemain wayang kulit itu tidak jadi masalah sebenarnya (dari segi jalan cerita). tanya orang tua-tua, mereka akan ada pendapat mereka tentang orang besar-besar.

cerita ini bukan sempurna dari segala segi. cerita ini perlukan perhatian sepenuhnya. ini bukan cerita untuk orang yang berharap semuanya disampaikan secara literal. ini juga bukan jenis cerita untuk orang yang tidak sabar.

ada sebab mengapa Main Puteri dan Wayang Kulit menjadi kontroversi. kalau tak tahu, ambil tahu. sayang sebenarnya kalau kita tak tahu tentang budaya sendiri. ambil tahu, bukan untuk mengikut tetapi untuk mengelakkan mungkin. kalau anda dah faham tentang dua perkara itu, anda tiada masalah menerima konsep mistik filem ini.

cerita ini buat saya berfikir. saya masih lagi berfikir sekarang. terasa tidak puas sebenarnya menonton cerita ini cuma sekali. rasa macam mahu tonton lagi. mahu ikut?

Cinta (Lagi)

Cinta (Lagi)

Permasalahan cinta memang takkan pernah habis. Dan permasalahan cinta seringkali sahaja rumit. Kalau tak rumit, takkan ada peperangan merebut cinta. Tiada juga yang nekad menculik demi cinta.

Mendapatkan cinta itu mudah. Mempertahankan cinta itu bukan mudah.

Tetapi bila cinta terkorban, apa yang turut mati? Kewarasan mungkin?

Dah selalu aku dengar 'putus cinta, berhenti kerja'. Tetapi, apa backup plan? Sudah bersedia dengan kerja baru? Sudah ada pelan lengkap mcm mana untuk meneruskan hidup? Sudah fikir bagaimana mahu terus bantu keluarga (kalau perlu)?

Kenapa diturut sgt perasaan? Kalau hubungan sudah habis, kau ingat dia akan kisah kalau kau susah? Jangan bergurau. Untuk apa dia fikir panjang-panjang. Kau bukan lagi sebahagian drpd hidup dia (dlm byk kes).

You know, personally I would say, never let anyone see how much you mean to them. Because that means that they will have a strong say on what or what should not be done by you. Why let anyone hold the reign of your life? For me, it is best to show that without them you are fine. Great even. Channel the negative energy into performing at work for example.

Buat benda gila demi cinta memang seronok. Tapi, akibat nanti dah fikir ke belum?