I happen to like T-shirts with lines like ‘Runs with Evil Intentions’, ‘Voted the most Flexible by Your Boyfriend’ and such (but wearing the latter will only be totally, utterly inappropriate). And I happen to find this one shirt with “Don’t even think you got chance”. But there’s a slight problem. Its sleeves are too short so I have to wear it with a cardigan. Urghh.

Nevertheless, nothing suits better than this current situation that I‘m looking at.

“Don’t even think you got chance”. Sometimes we fall into the trap of saying ‘well, she/ he will understand me doing this’, ‘ala member, dah la lame gile kawan. Sure die paham punye’. What we always forgot is the fact that everything has a limit. For some very weird unexplainable reasons, I will always love to refer to Hooke’s Law when it comes to the relationship between stress, tension and flexibility. Like Hooke’s Law, the spring attached to the load will snap when the load added to the spring exceeded the spring’s load limit. Same as patience. Test it too often and be prepared to say goodbye. Not take-care-smooch-smooch-goodbye. More like sile-ke-neraka-sekarang goodbye.

And this I believe, applies to everyone. All of us have our own boiling point. I have to admit, that I can be tolerant to some levels and then it will be “Don’t even think you got chance”. So does everyone. Wait, has anyone tested to annoy Dalai Lama yet?

OK, focus.

Like, you want me to be the one who will listen to your woes? “Don’t even think you got chance”.

Like you feel like calling me whenever you want and expect me to make the right noises when you tell me your stories? “Don’t even think you got chance” (noises here means appropriate reaction. Don’t go running with wrong and funny ideas).

Like when you want to turn things round and return to the days when we were the bestest buddies on the earth? OK fine, peninsular Malaysia? “Don’t even think you got chance”.

Just don’t go asking for reasons why I did this and that because I won’t bother to answer. We would love to pretend we are the victim, we are too nice bla bla bla. Well, please, save the saliva already because if we really do consider someone as our friend, we would tell him or her our good news. Not some lame excuses like ‘you’ll know sooner or later’. Clearly not the brightest thing to say as you spend the whole month or so talking about the person you like and when it comes to the good news, you prefer for them to find out themselves.

Please, this is not a game of ‘I don’t want to tell him or her because she’ll be crushed as she likes me’. Something must be very wrong with our brain if that is the case, especially so when the guy or girl helped you to court someone previously.

And then things get complicated and someone screwed up again and again. No one can be that forgiving. It’s even worse if the person forgive but never forget. Chance of getting back as friends, laugh about the silliest of things? “Don’t even think you got chance”

I met a very old friend at KL monorail. Somehow we fell apart. After foundation year, we didn’t see each other anymore. We lost it all, we somehow just became invisible to each other. I tried looking for her for years. I asked people about her but I found nothing. It’s liked she covered her tracks almost to the very root.

Then I met her last month. She said we’d do breakfast. I was excited but there were so many things on my mind (pau ayam, Jared Padalecki, new sandal, Jared Padalecki, Subway, Jared Padalecki) that I failed to fuel my energy towards contacting her. I gave up on the second try when she didn’t text me back.

And then I saw her again. We didn’t really talk because I was so sleepy that morning and she was busy with her phone. That afternoon, I texted her, actually pleading.

‘ Hey, let’s not be strangers and make up for the lost years. What do you think?”. No reply. It can be either that she was trying to say “Don’t even think you got chance” or she just recently stopped thinking.

I guess we can never make up for the lost years. I believe our friendship was lost with the lost years. Despite the fact that we hung out together almost every single night, tido sebantal, lepak atas bumbung makan oreo and stuff like that. Things do just fade away.

It was sad but what can I do? Being in a relationship; whether its friendship or being in love; we have to admit the fact that it’s like playing a kite. You can have the nicest kite, the one with the best design, the most aerodynamic but if there’s no wind, “Don’t even think you got chance” of flying it.

Same goes with friendships. It’s a two-way thingy. If the feeling is not mutual, it’s best to let go. Yes, I was crestfallen because we were really good friends but I have to accept and respect her decision. She surely has her own reasons. I will always wait for her invitation if she changes her mind.

Well, there you go. My very own “Don’t even think you got chance” moment.

anne and carrie
i have sunblock now SPF 30
22 days and counting

selipar looked at me
scratch that
stared at me today
but no progress

omg tak sabarnya operasi klebang whatever (can we decide on this? like carrie has the best ideas)
and seriously carrie
we haven't seen you for a long time
bile nak jumpe lagi?
anne and me misses you so much

saya pernah ditanya oleh qaistudio dan akusegan akan lelaki idaman saya
tetapi waktu itu saya telah dibahan sebab jawapan saya terlalu ringkas
tetapi hari ini, semasa sedang membeli tiket monorail, saya terfikir akan ciri-ciri lelaki yang saya suka
1. die mestilah pandai mengupas buah durian
2. wajib suka shopping
3. perlu sabar kalo saya pilihkan baju kemudian suruh cuba
4. mesti pandai buat saya gembira (bawa saya shopping)
5. mesti suka bercerita sebab saya suka bertanya

oke buat masa ini itu sahaja. mungkin akan terfikir ketika gosok gigi lima minit lagi

(kompom kene bahan pasneh yeh!)

cabaran uutk hari isnin dan selasa:
cuba bertahan dgn RM 10 dalam poket
monorail: RM 2.10 sehala
rapid KL(yang tidak begitu rapid): RM 2
makan tgh hari: RM 3-4
sarapan: RM 1 (mkn la ko cekodok sampai muntah)

hari isnin berjaya
masalahnya pagi selasa ni kalo bole tanak la korek tabung tapi dlm dompet ade Rm2 je skang
bole ke bertahan tanak korek tabung?
dlm TnG ada Rm 2.80

syarat utk cabaran ucchan nanchan ini adalah:
1. tak bole pinjam kat org
2. tak bole rembat duit sepupu yg berusia 14 thn
3. tak bole buat muke kesian mintak sedekah kat makcik
4. hanya bole pakai duit yg bertaburan di dlm bilik

motif susahkan diri: survival course modul utk diri sendiri (mls nak bayar 0.50 kat bank jenama kepala rimau yang akan charge saya sbb dah kuarkan duit 4 kali pada bulan Jun 2009 secara percuma. saya mmg kedekut ktengsbai)

Michael jackson

For the past few years, this icon has lived in embarrassment, humiliation. swimming in the midst on tons of legal procedures, being dubbed as the most stupid sibling (or something). There seemed to be endless humiliation in store for him. Like nobody has anything good to say about him and now he's gone and ...

Suddenly people (mostly media) miss him. Suddenly he is the legend. Suddenly he's the talented guy. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate him. I sang along to his songs since I was a little kid and I'm proud to say I still do. Every single time his songs were played on red.fm (silently of course because I don't want to interrupt my neighbours). It's just that I don't get it. One moment people insulted him and now, everyone is saying how great he is and stuff.

I guess it's too late people. And we will never change. We will always fail to appreciate whatever we have. And realise it a little too late that whatever that we had was gone and we missed it sorely.

As for me, I will always feel the most impacted by his 'Black or White' song

Beware of Bank Scams

Everyday, more people use online services for multiple of things. Communications are now mostly done over the Internet, electronic emails replace normal post, which is now known as snail mail..

OK wait. Motif kene tulis karangan macam pemahaman tingkatan 3 kenape?

There is a point actually. About bank scam.

Last few weeks, I received a phone call from someone claiming that I’ve a credit card debt of RM3,000. That was ridiculous because I don’t own that evil plastic and the caller didn’t even address my name. Yes, I’m that vain. If people don’t care to address me, I won’t care to listen.

So, this person will call you to authorize a so-called transaction. Beware because they do not even know you but they are just trying their luck by saying this. And then you go thinking, ‘Wait a minute. I don’t have a credit card. What is this?’

Two things might happen:
1. You might ask ‘I don’t have a credit card. How can that happen?’
2. ‘What rubbish’ and put down the phone and continue listening to radio stations while working.

Or you can choose to sing the most horrible song in the world because you realized that this person is trying to trick you. Hold on to that thought. That’s what they are going to do.

However, some people do fall into their trap and do the No 1 on the list. This is when they are going to tell you that someone is using your name or credit card fraud. And they will give you a phone number claiming that the phone number is Bank Negara’s number. DO NOT fall into the trap because it is not.

Once you call the number, they will be asking for your bank details and such. This is not supposed to be happening because banks will never ask any information over the telephone.

Another thing, please be aware that any wensites offering transactions like maybank2u will have a standard URL with https://klikdisi.com.my. It is Hypertext Transfer Protocol Secure (HTTPS) and is for sensitive and important transactions. So if you doing any online transactions or the sort, do watch out the URL to avoid from scams.

Pelase be reminded that free wireless is literally ‘free’ and vulnerable to attacks. Do not and avoid as much of you can of doing any transactions iin places with free WiFi. Better safe than sorry right?

Ouh crap. Got to pay my bills now. Enjoy your day people!

i have:
16 books to read
supernatural season 4 and criminal minds season 4 to watch
i have five movies to watch
a complimentary movie to watch
a cross stitch project
slacks to alter

so if i spend my time out tomorrow
just bloody kill me

and anne
i heart you
thanks for supporting me

XY looked at his shoes when he looked at XX
mungkin kelihatan XX kelihatan seperti bulb lampu sbb pakai tudung sebegitu?

they met at the lift lobby
they went down together
XX was talking on the phone while XY was looking at XX
looking and seemed to be wnting to engage with a conversation with XX
XX was busy on the phone

XX went down with XY on the elevator
then XX said hi to XY and proceeded to make small talk
'you are going back late huh?'
then they were having heated discussion about Putra or LRT or monorail
in the end XY managed to answer XY's own question
XX laughed in XX's head

they walked together to the monorail station
XY asked about:
'where you live?'
'where do you go off?'
'how do you go to work'
XY tried XY's best to give teh same question

conversation continued

XX managed to ask XY's nationality
XY asked:
'what do you study?'
'how's the slary?'
'what's your job like'
'why did you quit the last job?' ---> repetition repetition repetition
and in turn, XX gave name card to XY!
yeay for that

i watched transformers yesterday. it was seriously cool. i love it and i really do so hope dearest makcik will ajak me out next week. or the other week. it does not matter. i just want to go watch it again.

good and funny lines. love it. and cool robots. and hawt megan fox.

so, done with that
so long

XX= the girl
XY= the guy

scene: at the stairs
character: sang selipar (SS) and yours truly (YT)

yours truly turns around
YT: so, yesterday's game, brazil-italy, which one won?
SS: tak tgk ah. tido

are you stupid? ARE YOU STUPID? ask about the person. not about some frigging qualifying game that will happen in one year duration

*screams in frustration

I was out shopping with a friend yesterday and I was tired. Didn't realise I was that tired until after iftar.

OK, was not supposed to ramble.

So, at the end of the day, we were like so exhausted having to walk here and there and finally wanted to get some coffee for my auntie. I am ok with the idea of walking downstairs (looks at the spider veins on my legs and feigns horror) but she wanted to go on the elevator. Since the Prego in the bag weighed me down (as if I need more support to bring me closer to earth) so I just followed her to wait for the elevator. It's killing us by then, we went out at 1pm and by then it was already 8pm. So we waited. The elevator arrived and of course, the door opened. We waited patiently since the people in there have kids and we don't want to add more trouble to their additional baggage. And when we wanted to step him, the door was closing. And guess what? No one in the elevator wanted to push the 'open' button to let people in. And the best part was, they are parents with three kids. My friend nearly got her hands trapped when the door closed. There were no sensors and its not as if no one can't see that we wanted to come in.

Now I understand it all. Now I can see it all very clearly why we have this problem with all mat rempits, uncontrollable school children, increasing crime rates among school children. Look at the example being set by the parents. People are coming in and you just don't care. You are being too ignorant to just push the button. Was it too difficult? And think about the example set to the kids. Next time people want to come in into an elevator or something, they can just do the same thing. Or even better, push the button to close the elevator's door.

I don't blame educators, I really don't. If this is the kind of example a parent would want to set to their children, maybe we can just stop worrying about everything all together. How can we expect something good from an ignorant set of examples? Say if our role model is Amy Winehouse instead of Stephen Hawking (change at your own will), how can we be so sure we would not say 'Ouh, it's ok to do drugs. We can just be popular and get trophies for it.'

I hereby would like to remind myself not to be so selfish as to do what the couple did. OMG, both the father and mother just stood at the corners of the elevator looking at us with a blank stare, holding the hands of their kids and do nothing.

Please God, don't let me turn into those

'we make ourselves happy
the sky is baby blue if we want to ignore the tiny black cloud on the left side of it
we make our lives interesting
we don't need expensive restaurants after work to enjoy life
we just need to be content
content with what we have even if we have as much as RM250 for the whole month'

thank you o wise one
thank you

on a second note:
i love my friends
they are ever so supportive
and they love explaining things (carrie and anne)
and funny and undersanding
and especially talented in the merepek area

there are lots of things that i want to jot down but the pouring rain wash them away
ouh cool breezy morning
this will be another great day!

note to self:
1. open your mouth and speak"
2. seize the opportunity
3. start the conversation
4. look up and say hi
5. speak you, stoop
6. speak speak speak

ok you get it
God, pelase
i need another chance
please

ouh btw
i so so so love my girlfriends
they are ever so supportive
dan tumpang gembira untuk saye
until the one being across the sea
i so want to cry

Thank You People
for being really great friends
T_T

it came when you least expect it
(apart from the ability of -mengajak-diri-sendiri-dgn-selambe-dan-tidak-malu
it's only lunch
not invitation to the house of something

i'm like .... :D

jam sudah menginjak pukul 1. badan letih, otak penat, otot minta diluruskan di atas katil. tapi seperti ada sesuatu yangmasih belum dilakukan. ada sesuatu yang tidak cukup. terasa akan kehilangan sesuatu. sesuatu yang tidak pernah disedari akan harganya, cuma sekarang baru terasa rindu. sekalipun sesuatu itu masih di sini.

perasaan terasa bercampur-baur. masa sungguh cepat berlalu dan seperti sudah tertulis, macam ada seuatu yang perlu aku sampaikan tetapi tidak terluah.

apa? aku tau apa tetapi aku tau semua sudah agak terlewat sekarang. dan aku dihambat rasa ego yang membuak. ego yang menghalang aku untuk menarik semuanya kembali.

jauh, sudah terlalu jauh.

kali ini aku tidak boleh menyesal. apa saja yang datang, kali ini memang sangat bergantung kepada rezeki.

aku bersyukur dengan peluang yang pernah diberi. mungkin aku yang tersilap dan buta.

empat huruf. empat huruf itu yang sebolehnya ingin aku kongsi bersama satu ungkapan, mungkin akan hanya tinggal kenangan.

cis kau. malam ini kau buat aku terharu lagi

kind but cruel
me: eh you nak jadi PA eh?
die: a ah. ade ke?
me: ada tu mmg ada
me: tapi u kisah tak nak travel?
die: depends
die: kat mane?
me: keje sbg PA pemimpin Hamas
me: oke bye
die: if i get that job, org pertama i akan tembak is you

hahaha

btw, i've finally found a good definition of PMS for guys
it's Pre-Present-Post Mental Sickness
thanks bekas rakan sekerja

I've started to continue freelancing
I figured that I want a lot of things
so in order to get them, I have to work hard
hence, i must start somewhere

I had lunch with a friend and we got to talking about health
well, i miss those days when i can go to the gym almost everyday
ah those days

ok as someone nicely puts it
'you are always bz'
so i need to rush somewhere now

p/s: selipar selipar selipar

i can't sleep
no seriously
my heart is hammering violently against my chest
what is frrigging effing wrong with me?

no carrie
am not on pills

i kind of can't ait for tomorrow but hell
i'm shy
this is going to be awkward

*bites all ten nails simultaneously

i had to admit that this was the very first wedding of one of my schoolmates. and congratulations nadia, if you are reading this.

i never thought that it has been ten years since i saw some of them. and yeah, we are ten years younger but you know, they are still them.

well, some things will not just. it will always remain that way.

and this is the first time that i went to pavilion in baju kurung. it was bearable this time but wow HOT while we were trying to get the tickets for 17 Again. ya...i know. it's zac efron buy hey, he's kind of cute in that movie.

ouh today i was talking to a fren when she said something like takde org mengurat and voila! someone belanje-ed her extra ice-cream on top of our pancake. free ice cream oke? nobody ever got me a free ice-cream. and she as ever blur (and cute), she didn't realize the guy was flirting with her. and he is kind of cute (if you are reading this, yes he's cute. don't deny it).

i'm looking forward to go to the same outlet for freebies. wheee!!

stop it you golddigger.

ok, a fun-filling and quite a tiring day; so i got to go now and wait for grey's anatomy. as usual.

so have a fun day. i can't wait for monday. you know why, carrie and anne