Old school

in the middle of KL and we still have this. lucky yeah? 

just had to put this one up. taklah kodi sgt raya kat KL :P

Half-filled

the same old argument; half empty or hall filled? i am taking the more positive note of saying it is half-filled. What is half-filled? my year. pardon the usage of half, I am aware that there are only a few days left before we step into another year (given that the world did not end in December 2012 *pun intended). 

looking back, I dreamed of this before. not dream, more like wishing to have most of the things that I have now. In that case, I want to dream big. If I don't hit the star in the sky, I might hit the mountain. Mount Everest is good enough, no? 

By the way, this was among the trays of cornflake madu that I made. loved it (so much so that I cannot stop eating it). Bad habit. 

See, that was another thing to cross off my to-do-list. half-filled :)

Letih

[ pinjam kucing sepupu (mungkin si bertuah inilah yang selalu buang air besar di depan pintu bilik saya *sekeh)] 

seperti biasa, akan sampai satu tahap di mana saya akan terasa burnt out. Ini biasa terjadi bila kerja menimbun dan terasa tidak cukup masa untuk diri sendiri. 

Dulu, waktu mula-mula kerja, saya selalu fikir bahawa kita mesti kerja keras. Tidak perlu rehatkan diri sendiri, tidak perlu bercuti untuk recharge. Setelah beberapa lama, saya dapati ini adalah tidak bagus. Kenapa?

Kita ini macam mesin. Kalau mesin digunapakai terus-terusan, pasti akan rosak juga. Kadang-kadang enjin mesin perlu dihentikan. Sekejap pun jadi. 

Ah susah sangat. Kalau kita tidak cukup tidur, daripada mood elok boleh jadi jahanam kan? Daripada elok-elok cekap memandu, skill memandu boleh pergi ke laut dibuatnya kalau mengantuk. 

Kerja pun begitulah, pada pendapat saya. Perlu rehat, ambil angin, bercuti dua tiga hari di kampung misalnya. ataupun ke pulau. mana-manalah. 

Ahaiii...lambatnya masa berlalu :(

Nanny-in-training

nampak tidak bayi yang mempunyai pipi yang sangat mengagumkan itu? Ya, itulah Nafiz (mama dia yg pakai tudung polkadot yang saya suka itu). Comel tak comel tak? Oke jangan jawab. Memang comel nak arwah mih mih mih. 

Ini diambil pada 11 Ogos 2012. ye, mama Nafiz dan ayah Nawfal (tiada di dalam gambar) belanja makan-makan sempena hari ketuaan saya (ehem). maka, dapatlah jadi Nanny-In-Training untuk Nafiz ini (baca si pembuli). 

best kan? dapat buli dia sambil dibelanja pula. saya tau siapa yang akan jeles. untuk mengelakkan kena santau, tidak perlulah saya sendal nama mereka di sini. hi hi. 

12 tahun

[ delayed entry - 11 August 2012 ] 

Setiap perhubungan ada ranjaunya sendiri.

Saya rasa sangat bertuah kerana kami masih di sini; dua belas tahun kemudian. Dulu, dua budak cuba menjadi dewasa. Kini masih lagi berperangai mcm budak-budak, bezanya sudah layak sangat jadi dewasa. Sudah dewasa pun sebenarnya.

Dua belas tahun bukan sekejap. Bukan sekali dua kami bergaduh. Tetap kami masih di sini.

Sidekick, you are the sister that I never had.

Celebration

[ delayed entry 10 August 2012. Mak bz nyah ] 

Words cannot describe how lucky I feel today.

For managing a totally eventful year; a year of ups and downs, of tears and joy, of staying out and in hospitals. I can't even start saying how lucky I am to be able to live to this day.

Thank you for everything. I guess I am still lucky in getting wishes and whatnot today. It was indeed a joy to read everything that was sent today.

But most of all, thank you Emak; for bringing me into this world.

P/S: I had a suspicion that Emak went a bit emotional on the note ;).

Langkah

 

itu hari ada orang cakap:

' bayangkan kebarangkalian A bila kita membuat keputusan untuk memilih A. dapatkah kau bayangkan jalan kita hari ini kalau kau pilih B? dan kemudian C? terlalu banyak kemungkinan yang ada' 

A, B dan C mungkin adalah berkaitan dengan kerjaya. Siapa tahu. 

Saya membayangkan kalau dulu saya ambil keputusan tidak mahu tinggalkan Cyberjaya. Apa yang akan terjadi? Atau mungkin masih bekerja di pejabat pertama di belakang Pavilion (pasti banyak cerita hangat). Tetapi saya pilih untuk berada di sini. 

Pilihan. Bersyukur kita mampu membuat pilihan. 

Ini mengingatkan saya kepada apa yang terjadi semalam.  kita semua berhak memilih. mungkin dia memilih untuk bersama yang itu. seharusnya dia sedar bahawa menghulurkan hati kepada seseorang seolah-olah membiarkan kita mati. bila kasih sayang sudah habis direnggut dan hati dipulangkan, marah benar nampaknya. 

marah hingga jadi drama. drama murahan yang semua orang tonton. bukan sejam dua, malah sudah lebih kurang tiga hari drama ini berlangsung. habis telanjang cacat cela ketika bercinta. yang dulu tidak kisah (seperti hingus meleleh sampai ke dagu), hari ini mengungkit tak cukup tanah. jangan marahkan tukang sorak kalau anda sengaja bergaduh di tengah-tengah orang ramai. 

nak kata budak-budak, masing-masing dah boleh jadi mak bapak budak. kelakar ada, nak kasi penampar pun ada. 

bertempik, bersorak berhari-hari hanya menampakkan kebodohan diri sendiri. aku pernah buat sekali, malas nak buat lagi. hodoh sangat rupanya. 

awak pernah pilih jalan itu. tanggunglah akibatnya. belajar untuk jadi dewasa. 

pesanan untuk saya.

Sandakan Death March route

Location: Sandakan war memorial

There was nothing at the location. No one was there except for us and also the taxi driver. The location seemed a bit eerie and I couldn't bring myself to head to the Prisoner of War (POW) camps located at the back of the location. 

It was disheartening to see all the leftovers from the war. There were pictures of tickets to so-called concerts (what comes to mind was my life at a boarding school where we have to pretty much come up with our own entertainment) as well as pictures of soldiers smiling, not knowing what awaits them ahead. 

There were a few devices left from the era but it was taken vertically so you see, I am too lazy to turn them over. That explains the absence of it. 

There were certain sadness clinging in the air. I cannot imagine the life that POWs had to spent at this hilly camp. I thought I had the stomach to walk down the memory lane but I didn't. 

We stopped at the camp on our back from Sepilok. 

War Memorial

Location: Kundasang (pretty popular sign among the visitors, I was told)

I have to admit that I was only aware of the Death March in Ratchnaburi when in reality, there is another march here in Malaysia itself. This is the end of the trail for the death marched that started with 2,000 over armies and ended up with only six (correct me if I'm wrong). The trail started from Sandakan (45 minute flight from KK) so just imagine, walking in night and day. Based on the history written in Kundasang, the month happened to be the wettest (is there such a word?) for the year.

The only motivation was the end of Japanese armies' bayonet. Those affected with diseases or wounded are left to die (or shot).

There is a plate lining the names of the dead and missing armies from UK, Australia and of course, local people. It broke my heart to read the names of the missing soldiers when they can easily be very young. The oldest victim was about 50 over and he was the oldest.

There are not many WWII survivors left in the world. My grandfather came from the generation but he wasn't an army. Although the sad story is not for sale, I do believe that we should keep this for the next generation.

And now, where is the collection of WWII memoirs that I purchased months ago?

Dive deeper

Location: Heading to first snorkelling point

How I wish that I'd be able to be here again. It's not so much of the being away from the desk but the thought of being where I can listen to the crashing of the waves. 

This was the picture that we took before we dived into the water. It was my first time being in the sea without safety jacket. The only mistake that I made was wearing khakis pants that led me to nearly drown once I stop. 

Every time I think of this place, I will feel at peace. And all I have to do now is close my eyes to be there. 

And yes, I am awfully aware that I'm about to bore the living daylights of anyone who stumbled across this with my Perhentian memoir. 

Teh O

puasa hari kesembilan, akak tak mangket sahur u'olls. oke, bangunlah sebenarnya tapi dah jadi macam sahur zaman student. bukak mata hanya untuk minum teh o. ha elok sgt. nasib baik tak pengsan petang tadi.

ceh. ceh. padahal belum ada sejarah orang mati sebab puasa. drama sangat. 

tapi saya syak sebenarnya gegeh tgk olimpik. itu sebab tak jadi pengsan. pengsan di sini bermaksud pengsan secara literal. 

sbnrnya nak tgk judo, taekwondo tu. tapi macam tade org nak tgk je. set-set tgk lumba basikal. tapi dapat tgk Hungary- Slovenia judo tadi pun lepaslah. dia punya ganas lain macam. 

bercakap ttg olimpik, seronok betul tgk opening olimpik itu hari. nampak kemas dan detailnya cukup. dah lama tak tgk muhammad ali, itu hari dapat tgk dia. tapi dia dah sangat lemah. rasanya dia tak boleh berdiri. kesian juga perempuan yang pegang dia untuk berdiri tu. dah la bekas ahli gusti. tapi agak tak senonoh juga tunggu habis opening terus tido. nasib baik tak bangun hari isnin. 

sbnrnya (dah berapa kali taip sbnr tah) sangat gembira. bukan selalu dapat jumpa kawan yang sudi mengingatkan kita apa yang kita lupa. lupa diri, lupa daratan, lupa asal-usul; pilih satu. jadi, seronok berbual dengan gadis itu sampai tidur terbabas sampai hampir pukul satu. 

kawan datang dan pergi. tetapi saya berharap sangat saya dapat terus berkawan dengan orang-orang yang saya dapat jumpa sekarang. disebabkan mata sudah semakin kuyu, apa kata kita berhenti dulu di sini?

Perhentian....Again

Location: Perhentian-Redang-Lang Tengah

A bit of an unplanned trip this year, going with a friend this time. A new experience since she is a new friend.

Three days are never going to be enough to be going to a place like this. Just look at the water, so blue and clear. The breeze and the scenery, brought tears to my eyes. It's such a pity that I cannot take pictures in the water or I might have shared it here.

InsyaAllah, God's will I will visit this place again

Dedah Perasaan

momen-momen (maafkan saya cikgu Bahasa Melayu) yang sekejap itu akan tetap kekal sampai bila-bila.

babak dicedok terus dari layar perak, siapa sangka akan terjadi juga di alam seharian.

bagaikan ada sesuatu yang membuatkan kita terpaku di situ. cuma dua saat. dua saat yang entahkan bila akan dilupakan.

ah kalau makin panjang, hilang ide aku nak bercerita.

Bird Park

Al tanoor, The Last Luncheon (before Ramadhan)

Location: Pavilion

The last lunch I had with a good friend. I took a half day on this day just to watch movies before the start of the fasting season.

We talked about nothing and everything; just like we always do. Nothing special there. Both of the teapots contained teas; mine Arabic tea and hers Lemon. Mine was good up until we discovered the teapot was cracked. Had it changed when my cup was already full. Good day indeed.

This was the day that Laszlo Csatary, the most wanted Nazi war criminal was discovered in Hungary. 

Morning walk

Location: Perhentian Besar

We woke up late on the island, again. The picture was taken on the second day of our stay at the place I was supposed to wake up at about 6 am to see the sun rise but this is good enough I guess. There was no one on the island, even the guides have just risen. Leaving the keys  beside my friend's pillow, I proceeded to walk to the beach, taking in fresh air. 

This time there were no people milling around on the beach so I pretty much have the whole place to me. It was melancholic, almost taking me to a place that I have never known. I should have sat on the sand and take more pictures but then again, people start coming to the beach to wait for their bots. 

I met Hakeem, a banker from Switzerland who came here with his family. We chatted quite a bit, more on me not being able to talk French anymore (haha!) and about Eurozone. A bit on the part where I would love to go to Finland (Hakeem said: It's a bit cold there with the nice scenery. Just that the cost of living is quite high). 

We actually got to talking when I was trying to help him with his father who seemed a bit anxious that the bot is still not there. We did not exchange numbers anyways. Sad. 

We talked a little bit until 8am, the time being our breakfast call. 

Ramadhan tiba lagi

Tak banyak yang dapat dikatakan pada awal Ramadhan ini. Cuaca sejuk dan nyaman, mengundang rasa mengantuk. Semoga Ramadhan ini membawa berita gembira untuk kita. Tidak seperti tahun lepas, jadi penghuni hospital.

Jadi, sudah fikir juadah berbuka belum? ;)

KL Bird Park

I might as well volunteer at this place since I visit the place on a daily basis. Third visit this time actually. No thanks to lousy smartphone battery, I missed most of the pictures of nice birds.

The visit this time was special because two of my friends came down from Perak. It was the usual route (about 9k steps or so) and apparently, there were so many other families present. Apart from seeing the birds, we did have fun looking at the cute babies.

These two birds were found in the macaw cage (we were so tired when we reached the area and practically dying because of the heat). These are cute little birds that you can feed with a small sum of donation (after the RM 25 entrance fee with MyKad).

There were more peacocks milling around the park compared to the last time. Storks were also everywhere and we can actually get quite close to them.

We had fun. Tons of em. We missed the bird feeding but that definitely did not stop us from gawking at the birds.

And no bird pooped on us. That itself is an achievement!

Traffic

There was a certain need to move faster, weaving in and out of the existing two-way traffic. The moving object in front was moving hesitantly. This caused the whole dynamic to turn into chaos. Everybody was moving fast in both directions. Apparently, work on the table was piling up.

Still, more obstacles stood in the way. Again, the same weaving in and out technique is used. Bad luck called when someone was taking their own sweet time in front. Jumping the queue seemed rude and out of question.

Suddenly, there was an opening. Without delay, one moved forward. Ah, and there it is! The toilet entrance.

Impian. Harapan.

Impian. Harapan.

Saat kau cagarkan impian untuk memberi harapan, saat itu separuh diri kau sudah mati.

Apalah makna kehidupan kalau hak cipta impian sudah diserahkan bulat-bulat pada saudagar mimpi?

Bagai menulis surat wasiat kemudian berdiri di depan bas RapidKL.

Tetapi inilah hidup. Cagar impian, jual maruah hanya untuk bayar bil menimbun setiap bulan.

Dan esok, aku masih seperti biasa; turut serta dalam 'rat race'.


Sent from my iPad