Memory: Final

The day was sunny and the soft breeze brought another smile to Tasnim. She sat on the park bench, looking at a boy who was running around with a kite.

A paper cup materialised out of nowhere near her grasp. She was half hoping that it would be a hot, piping cup of black coffee but she knew it was just a dream.

Turning to her right, Tasnim saw a face that smiled at her. It was a face that she knew for a long time. It was the same face with the lopsided smile, which stirred talks among her own friends.

' You know the deal, no coffee.' Yes, she knew.

Things have a habit of changing. When chances were given and no change were seen, it was time to make decisions. And here they are, Tasnim expecting a baby with none other than...

' Seriously, a penchant for drama,' Hanna looked at Tasnim before turning to the person sitting in the next seat.

' I don't want to..you know..ruin the group..'

'..group dynamics. Right. When all you do is sit there and become the hero again and again. Tasnim secretly thinks you're gay, you know,' Hanna gave a dirty look at Khalid. Tasnim just laughed.

' I can assure you I'm not,' Khalid stressed the point while facing Tasnim in his utmost serious face. Again, Tasnim laughed.

It was not easy. There were risks to be taken but the upside was they knew each other for a long time. And due to that also, they did not think there was a reason to delay anything.

Adam's chapter was put to a stop, cold turkey-like. Johari jokingly asked during their reception if Adam was invited but all of them guessed the same thing why Adam decided to spend a whole week somewhere in West Malaysia.

' Congratulations to both of you,' Johari said while looking straight at Tasnim. There were an unspoken relief that translated from his eyes.

It was after all, a rollercoaster of emotion

Memory: 27

' What is it this time?' Hanna's text reply came in a rush. Tasnim instantly felt ashamed of herself, knowing full well that Hanna was at a theatre right this moment and was trying yo confront her at the same time. Realising this, Tasnim just decided to continue crying on her bedroom floor, alone. It was best to let Hanna enjoy tonight.

While Tasnim was dwelling on the fact that Adam purposely avoided her when they were about to on the same elevator, her phone rang. It was Hanna.

' Aneem?' Hanna sounded frantic. ' Are you oke? I'm sorry I sounded cross.'

Tasnim took in a gulp of fresh air (and possibly tons of dust) and assured Hanna she was perfectly fine.

' Are you sure? I can leave right here, right now.'

' No, you continue. It's nothing. It's not like it's the first time,' Tasnim faked a laugh.

Hanna, on the other hand, was completely silent on the other side. ' You take care now.'

Tasnim just bid goodbye, a teary-eyed one while trying very hard not to let Hanna hear any of it.

It was about to be an extremely long night. And the next morning, nothing was ever the same.

Memory: 26

As hard as it may seen, Tasnim was left to swallow all of the things she once said to her friends. About finding her own happiness, loving yourself first and all that psychobabble. It was time again to be happy. For over a year, she let her happiness to depend on someone, it was finally time to let go.

It was becoming worse with Adam. Tasnim tried to back off a little, to see if Adam is still interested in her. Instead of trying to make connection, Adam did not seem to do anything about the fact that Tasnim was no longer making any effort to talk to him.

Even worse, Adam avoided her when she tried to pull back.

It hurt, she was not going to lie.

‘ Now I know where I stand,’ was all that she could tell Hanna.

‘ He is volatile, it’s not worth it. And you can hardly change a habit of a lifetime.’

Strangely enough, there was no tears this time. 

Memory: 25

Days turned into month and from almost daily messages, Tasnim went down to a message every two weeks. Even then, there were hardly any replies.

It was at that point that Tasnim became pissed.

‘ Hey, this is a nice surprise!’ Johari took the chocolate cake from Tasnim’s hand with a huge grin.

‘ Wait until you taste it,’ Khalid chipped in.

Tasnim just laughed.

‘ Ready made mix?’ Johari asked while opening the transparent container.

‘ Eh, hello!’ Tasnim said while trying to give Johari The Look.

‘ I can assure you she made everything from scratch,’ this time Hanna joined in.

At that, Johari looked at Tasnim’s face, a tad too long perhaps. Tasnim, on the other hand, refused to find the answer to what that look meant or even care.

‘ Coffee anyone? Name your poison, ’ Khalid saved the moment that was starting to become awkward.

From just talking about a mutual friend, Johari has turned into some kind of a good friend to Tasnim. It has been quite sometime since they met so, it was just proper that Tasnim asked Johari out for a drink. She made Khalid and Hanna tag along, for the fear that she would again try to ask about Adam.

It was fun catching up to Johari and he got unsurprisingly well with Khalid. There were some hesitation on Hanna’s part but at the mention of travelling, the cold surface of her started to melt.

Nobody realised it was very well into the afternoon. As all of them would be working tomorrow, they decided to call it for now.

‘ See you again, bro,’ Khalid clapped Johari’s back.

‘ Sure. Maybe futsal, one of these days?’ Johari returned a genuine smile. Before Tasnim could move towards the counter, Johari almost ran into a table to walk with her. Hanna and Khalid pretended nothing happened and continued to pretend they needed to find their things on the sofa.

‘ Tasnim!’ Johari tried to call out while not trying to shout either. She turned around in surprise.

‘ Yes?’

But Johari didn’t say anything.

‘ Speak up, Johari,’ Tasnim tried not to laugh while handing out red notes to the cashier. Her treat.

‘ Adam..’ Johari let his voice trail off.

Tasnim just smiled while shaking her head.

‘ I’m sorry,’ there was sadness in his eyes, as cliché as it may sound.

‘ It was hardly your fault.’ 

Memory: 24

‘ Aneem, it’s like a broken china,’ Hanna said, without so much as hiding the tiredness in her voice.

Tasnim bit her lower lip while walking beside her good friend, trying hard not to cry.

‘ What do you do with a broken china?’ Hanna asked while holding up a lettuce in her hand.

No answer from Tasnim because both of them already knew the answer.

‘ You know what, you might lose something that has been staring in the face for so long if you keep doing this. Do you really want to do this to yourself?’

Instead of looking at a tomato, Hanna stared at Tasnim’s face.

‘ If it hurt you this much, why not walk away? Why not do it while you still have love for yourself?’

It took all of Tasnim's dignity not to bawl out in the middle of hypermarket. 

Memory: 23

Glances became awkward glances. Supposedly smooth conversations became almost an act. There were no longer grace in their conversation. Everytime Adam glanced Tasnim’s way with the almost schoolboy shyness he had, Tasnim had to hide a smile. At night, that smile turned into millions of questions. And it rarely varied from one night to another.

Would they return to the way it was before? Would the memory piece back and they will be able to continue as it is?

Tasnim tried to text Adam but answers were sporadic in nature. At times, it felt like he wanted to say something but decided that a full-stop was sufficient. At other times, there were just a single word as an answer. Sadly, there were times when they were no answer at all.

People have said she was stubborn. Others say she was a fighter but this was a fight that she had to do alone. It was not that she really needed someone else’s approval (she needed that too) but the worst part was it was as if the other party were not willing to take part in the part.

She almost always forgot to remember that Adam no longer called her; something that he always did before the fateful day. 

Memory: 22

In the dark room, Tasnim threw herself onto the floor before crouching into a ball.

What went wrong? What was wrong with her? Why did she had to keep seeing other people meeting their significant other but not her? No, she didn’t think it was unfair but it has been so long. And when she was about to grasp it, it was gone. She got tested and the person who returned was no longer the person that she once knew.

Was there something totally unloveable about her? Was there something that made her fit only for unloading problems? Or was it something she ate that caused her to attract just people with too many baggages in the past?

‘ What is it? What is wrong with me?’ Tasnim sent a text to Hanna. She was not sure about the time difference anymore. It was the realisation that it has been nearly two months but Adam did not make any effort anymore. And with that, the tears came down streaming like Niagara.

Her phone beeped. Tasnim must have fallen asleep because it was dark and raining outside. God knows how long she had slept.

Khalid’s message. And about three missed calls.

‘ I’m sorry I asked that question.’

‘ Tasnim, are you ok?’

Tasnim tried to sit and while doing so, she saw her reflection on the mirror. She must have fallen asleep while crying because her makeup has already smudged her face.

‘ Good night.’

For once, Tasnim felt totally drained. She didn’t even have the energy to lie. 

Memory: 21

‘ You want to tell me something?’ Khalid sat while staring at Tasnim, finally opening his mouth after a two-minute silence.

Tasnim hesitated. This was Khalid, not Hanna. At least, Hanna will be able to listen to her. They gossipped a lot, furthermore they were girls. But she can…

‘ It’s Adam?’ Khalid guessed while taking the glass of coffee off the table.

Still, that question did not help. Instead, it got Tasnim more confused because she was very close to spilling everything but she was actually afraid of the answer. She was scared that she could not do what she had to do.

‘ Tasnim?’ Khalid called her name again. And Tasnim nodded her head.

Khalid looked at Tasnim, hard.

‘ Aneem, this is not hard. Contrary to popular belief, men are not complex.’

There was something welling up in Tasnim. At least with Hanna, she wouldn’t be too blunt.

‘ If we like you, we will show some effort,’ Khalid said matter-of-factly. ‘ How long has it been?’

The question. THE QUESTION that Tasnim actually did not want to answer as she will be forced to calculate how long she had been throwing herself at Adam. 

Memory: 20

                      

‘ You can trust someone you love but you definitely love someone you trust.’

This particular quote got Tasnim going every single time she had doubt about Adam. Over and over again, she repeated the same quote to herself as if it was the most important mantra in the world.

It was early Monday morning, the beginning of the month. There was hardly anything that was too important but Tasnim got to an early start. As a trainer at an outsourcing centre, it may not be as hectic as other people on the sales floor. There were mostly paperwork to be tackled when there was no newcomers to train.

While flipping through the pages, Tasnim couldn’t help but think about Adam. It was as if once the switch was ignited, there was no chance of shutting it down. The switch called ‘Adam’ especially.

It was maddening, really. It was as if getting to know a total stranger. Adam that was cheeky was gone. He constantly blushed and looked as his shoes, like he really do not feel comfortable talking to Tasnim anymore. It was maddening, really. All the coffee talks that they used to have clearly did not mean anything to him…as if none of them ever happened.

‘ It was like…’

‘ Talking to an empty vessel?’ Hanna helped, through Skype.

‘ Yes!’ and then Hanna seemed to be looking at Tasnim with sympathy.

‘ I love you, Aneem. And anyone who really gets you, will definitely love you with all his hear.’

Of course, Tasnim was not dim. She knew that Hanna did not mention Adam.

Memory: 19

' What have I gotten myself into?' Tasnim asked while sitting back, slumping into the sofa. Khalid leaned in, looking at Tasnim through the mist of coffee steam.

' It's not your problem to start with. Why make it one?'

' I know but don't you think he needed someone?'

' For what?' Khalid looked at Tasnim, as if in wonder.

' Unload his feelings, tell him his problems and such?'

' He has othere friends, surely. Like you. You have Hanna and I.'

Tasnim went silent.

' His friend...what was the name again?'

' Johari.'

' Yes, Johari. They seemed quite close. And by the sound of it, he has othere buddies to, I presume.'

What Khalid said make sense.

' So, why did he had to tell me that?'

' You mean about the problems?'

Tasnim can only nod.

Khalid stared at Tasnim for a second before returning to his coffee. ' Someone with a big heart like you...he's stupid to let that go.'

' Khalid!' Tasnim laughed. ' You are not even trying to answer my question!'

' I would have unload all my problems unto you if I were him. No question,' Kalid continued to sip his coffee while avoiding to look at Tasnim.

' Why?'

' Because I trust you.'

Trust. That was a start.

Memory: 18

Since Adam's reappearance, Tasnim made an extra effort on her looks. She started applying eyeshadow, something that she had long ditch. She made it a point to bemore feminine like wearing shawls and bangles. She knew what she was doing.

The idea seemed to work as Adam now locked eyes with her every time they bump into each other. He looked genuinely happy and at other times, he couldn't take his eyes off her. Tasnim was happy, seeing the development.

One day, they crossed path while heading back home. At first, Tasnim did not know what to say. She was speechless; being able to be this close with Adam. And then, Adam launched into his story.

Memory: 17

What hurt Tasnim the most was the fact that Adam acted as if he never asked about Sara. He  had not texted her since the day he popped the question about the Sara, about three days ago. It didn't sound too long for other but Tasnim waited three months. Tasnim can almost feel the muscles on her face hurt everytime she smiled when they bumped into each other.

' Three times and he has yet to text you back?' that was Hanna's question. When
Tasnim wrote about the whole thing to her. That one hurt too.

It was as if Adam couldn't remember her.

Something that Johari once said made her even sadder.

' He couldn't recognise me sometimes. When he was sick.'

' Really? Can I really do this?'

Memory: 16

Like magic, Adam watzled again into Tasnim's life. Unlike previously, Adam seemed to be hiding in his own shell. It didn't feel right for Tasnim to further intrude Johari's life to ask about Adam. All of us had our fair share of problems and we just had to continue on with our lives.

Like Hanna. She was now in New Zealand, either picking kiwi fruits or swimming in the beach behind her lodging. It was her dream to go on that six months working visa thing in the country.

' Six months will just fly without us realising it,' Hanna said to a teary-eyes Tasnim who really couldn't say a thing.

' Hey! I'll be fine. We would write long emails,' Hanna tried to calm Tasnim down.

' I'll take care of her,' Khalid quipped behind them, as if not wanting to be left out. Like a boyfriend reassuring the mother that he will be there for her daughter.

And Khalid kept to his words. Morning messages will always be there to greet Tasnim. At first, it made her wonder what was wrong with Khalid and later, she succumbed to it. It was nice to have someone greeting your day to be great.

But her heart was the biggest culprit. It would have been easier to just move on with life; with here friends by her side but no, that would not happen. Adam was always on her mind, despite the question she asked her about Sara.

' Forget him,' Khalid told her numerous times. Khalid made it sound so easy.

Memory: 15

Like magic, Adam watzled again into Tasnim's life. Unlike previously, Adam seemed to be hiding in his own shell. It didn't feel right for Tasnim to further intrude Johari's life to ask about Adam. All of us had our fair share of problems and we just had to continue on with our lives.

Like Hanna. She was now in New Zealand, either picking kiwi fruits or swimming in the beach behind her lodging. It was her dream to go on that six months working visa thing in the country.

' Six months will just fly without us realising it,' Hanna said to a teary-eyes Tasnim who really couldn't say a thing.

' Hey! I'll be fine. We would write long emails,' Hanna tried to calm Tasnim down.

' I'll take care of her,' Khalid quipped behind them, as if not wanting to be left out. Like a boyfriend reassuring the mother that he will be there for her daughter.

And Khalid kept to his words. Morning messages will always be there to greet Tasnim. At first, it made her wonder what was wrong with Khalid and later, she succumbed to it. It was nice to have someone greeting your day to be great.

But her heart was the biggest culprit. It would have been easier to just move on with life; with here friends by her side but no, that would not happen. Adam was always on her mind, despite the question she asked her about Sara.

' Forget him,' Khalid told her numerous times. Khalid made it sound so easy.

Memory: 14

Johari

' Don't cry.'

' It can be anything.'

' He has never mentioned anyone else's name.'

Tasnim

' Nah. It's oke. They look, good together anyways.'

Johari

' Look. This is still fresh. We don't know.'

Tasnim

' Stay as my friend, oke?'

Johari

' Tasnim, he might not recover yet. Let me check with the others.'

' He has never mentioned about Sara.'

Tasnim

' Oke. Sorry to disturb you.'

Johari

' It's nothing, Tasnim.'

' You take care.'

' I'm sorry.'

It was not Johari's fault that Adam asked for Sara, saying that he was interested to know Sara.

Memory: 13

' You have to empty your heart before you can let something good in.'

Sometimes, Hanna was really good with words. And these words have helped. After the countless teary nights, of course.

At one point, Tasnim just gave up. Months of not hearing anything, caused Tasnim to just move on. She just can't live on sadness anymore.

' Sorry to break this to you but there were nothing between you guys,' Hanna said one day and nearly drove Tasnim to tears.

' if he really liked you, he would not wait that long,' Khalid chipped in, between. Outhfuls of tom yam and plain rice. They were having dinner.

' Oke I'm sorry. But he didn't come out and said he loved you so yeah, it was really nothing. Don't feel obligated to stay with him,' Khalid added an afterthougt, sensing that a storm was coming.

What the friends didn't know was Tasnim was still banking on Adam. She had given a lot of thought of what happened to him. Adam bounced back once, of course he will bounce back again. And by then, Tasnim will take him back.

One day, Tasnim checked out her Facebook. It was quite sometime since she checked out the social media. Her eye quickly looked at the sidebar for people who were online.

' Adam!' a small scream escaped from her mouth.

Without hesitating, Tasnim clicked his name and window popped up.

' Hi Adam.'

Tasnim waited for a reply.

' Hi.' Came a reply. Tasnim nearly cried of happiness.

' How are you?'

The next reply caused Tasnim to slam the laptop, her face white as ghost.

Memory: 12

These days, the smartphone was glued to Tasnim's hands. Every few minutes, she touched the phone. It was difficult to let the screen stay pitch black.

' Anytime. He can come back anytime,' Tasnim convinced herself almost every night. Well,  after a lot of crying of course.

It was getting manic. Every single week, Tasnim went back to Johari. It was always the same question: any news? And Johari was good enough to entertain Tasnim despite the fact that they were only connected by Adam.

' It's ok, Tasnim. I would want to help my friend be happy,' a sad smile on Johari's face. Tasnim understood that too well.

It was as if Tasnim can see Adam everywhere she went at work. The only place that she felt safe from memories was her floor. Sometimes, she could see Adam in the elevator, other times at the lobby. It nearly drove her to tears because she knew her brain was playing tricks on her. It was just because she missed Adam so much.

It was as if Tasnim tried to cling to every memory that linked her to Adam. It was already two months since Adam disappeared but she kept waiting. She was never alone at night; tears will always be with her, wetting her pillow too.

It was not only Adam, Tasnim seemed to losing her touch too.

Days passed and suddenly it was already weekend. It was officially the days of mourning for her. It was normal for her to sleep really long hours these days, a sign of loneliness. Except that the ring of the phone interrupted her deep slumber.

Hanna.

' Morning love!' Hanna sounded very much awake. Tasnim looked at the clock and was surprised. 9 am and Hanna was already up? It was either something was really wrong or ...

' Morning..' Tasnim answered closely while getting up from the bed. ' Is everything..oke?'

Hanna laughed on the other line. ' What? What do you mean? Of course I am fine. Where are you at?' Hanna sounded as if she was outside, near the streets.

' Home. Just got up,' Tasnim rubbed her sleepy eyes and walked towards the kitchen. The city has long been awake.

' Great. Open up, I'm outside,' And there was a bang on the door.

' What? Hanna!' but the line was already dead.

Outside the door, Hanna was standing with two small cups that can only mean coffee, flashing a 500 megawatt smile.

' Hanna, I haven't showered!'

' Now is the perfect time. Go or the coffee will be cold,' Hanna made herself at home in the apartment that belonged to Tasnim's family. That got Tasnim smiling.

Just as Tasnim stepped out of the shower, something that smelled delicious wafted through the air.

A smiling Hanna greeted Tasnim who just stepped out of the room. 'Scrambled eggs, you oke with it?'

' Thank you,' Tasnim took a seat, realising that she hadn't had a bite since last night.

She scooped some of the eggs with some bread and popped into her mouth. It was as if the dish was the most delicious thing that Tasnim ever consumed. Well, she certainly looked like it.

A few minutes of having the dish, Tasnim realised something. She looked up to Hanna who was staring at her.

' Want more?' it was Hanna's code for ' for a moment there, you looked happy. Please take good care of yourself. You don't deserve this'. Yes, everything that she already said last week.

Tasnim could not answer and just put up a hand.

Hanna smiled again.

' She's recuperating.' A message was sent to Khalid.

Memory: 11

Hanna tried to keep a straight face. Tasnim understood what that meant. Not knowing what to say next, Tasnim took a sip of the black coffee in front of her. She was then transported again to a memory that did not seem familiar.

' Really? That's how you think love should be?' the undergraduate Hanna asked Tasnim, a sceptic tone apparent.

Tasnim has always avoided confrontations. If anything, she chose to agree to almost anything that Hanna said. It was so much easier to do so rather than facing the fact that they were at odds.

' Really?' Hanna asked again.

' I mean, maybe she did not know that the husband is unwell. At first!' Tasnim added when she saw that Hanna was about to pounce on the statement. ' maybe she just got to know about it long after that and it was way too late. They were married already.'

Hanna seemed to be absorbing the information, sitting on the couch with a hand under the chin.

' Hurm. Couldn't she escape?'

' But they are married!' Tasnim tried to drive the point further.

' Ok. Yeah, that would not be too easy,' Hanna said slowly. ' Ok, I get you. It's those who knows what's going on and still decide to go through with the person.'

' But, we don't know. Maybe that person has their reasons!' sensing triumph, Tasnim tried to sell her idea.

' Reasons or excuses?' the plan seemed to backfire. ' It is fine as long as the person is strong enough to carry the other person but this is modern age, we are the NINJA generation...' and Tasnim's mind glazed over.

Ah NINJA generation. No income, no job, no assets. Hanna's argument will make sense as she will the launch into another lecture on economics.

So, here was where Tasnim kind of freaked out. Hanna's approval will be important; that was what people expect from close friends. And now, Adam was having this.

' Aneem?' Hanna touched Tasnim's arm. Suddenly, Walk Away from franz Ferdinand filled the space. Saved by the bell.

' Hanna, my mom,' Tasnim gestured to the phone before heading out to the balcony. A smile hung by her lips.

Memory: 10

‘ You have got to stop, Aneem,’ Hanna’s voice hit her eardrum.

‘ What? I didn’t..’

‘ I know what you do. You still check up on him through his friends,’ Hanna’s voice was grim.

Tasnim kept quiet. She knew she has lost this.

‘ Why Aneem? Do you really have to do it?’ Hanna asked, with a resounding plea.

‘ You would not understand,’ and Tasnim ended the call.

Who would have understood? Adam was gone, without a trace. At least, with the others, Tasnim knew that they had to break up. But this one vanished into thin air.

Her phone kept on ringing but Tasnim ignored the call. It was too much for one night.

Yes, she admitted that she was wrong. It was a crime to actually look through the social media account of Adam’s friends to find out if he was ok. She should have just ask them politely but…

It was complicated. Or, it was made complicated by both of them. Tasnim preferred to wait a little bit longer before being introduced to Adam’s friend. What can Adam do but to comply.

‘ You know, just my good friend,’ Adam stirred the black coffee sitting in front of him.

‘ When?’ Tasnim can feel beads of sweat on her back. This was getting serious.

Adam looked at Tasnim’s face, as if reading what she was not saying from her expression. Tasnim, sensing that she was being sized up, smiled cheekily.

‘ Soon,’ Adam continued with the coffee.

But soon never came. 

Memory: 9

Monday, the busiest of any days in the week. Tasnim threw her bag on the floor and spread herself on the cold wood. Just one thing played on her mind. Their memories.

Suddenly, Tasnim was interrupted by a phone call. Her phone rarely rings so it took her really by surprise. Half of her was hoping that it will be Adam but half of her knew it could not be him.

True. Khalid.

‘ Assalamualaikum,’ Khalid voice was in control, like always.

‘ Waalaikumussalam,’ Tasnim answered. At least it was a familiar voice. She instantly relaxed.

‘ Where are you?’ Khalid asked, as if anxious.

Tasnim laughed.

‘ What? What have I said?’

Tasnim laughed a little bit more before answering. ‘ Do you remember what Madam Samia said during our French class?’

‘ She said a lot of things. That one I can confirm.’

‘ She said that the French call mobile phones as tu est où? Where are you? Exactly what you asked,’ Tasnim said between giggles.

‘ That was random, Aneem. Too random,’ Khalid said after a pregnant pause.

‘ I’m sorry. Could not help myself,’ Tasnim stopped giggling but she was not sorry. Khalid should know that she said the most random stuff on earth.

‘ No, don’t. You don’t have to be sorry.’

‘ I am home, by the way.’

‘ Ouh. A bit early, aren’t we?’ Khalid asked, like a concerned brother.

Tasnim sighed, audibly.

‘ Don’t, Aneem. If you think you can’t, don’t push yourself too far. You will get burnt out.’

‘ I keep seeing him at the places we frequent.’

Khalid kept mum.

‘ I can see him approaching with that smile of his. I can even see the dimples. I can almost remember him in every outfit. It’s…’ and the waterworks came.

And Khalid, like every other male has no other option but to say, ‘ Aneem, I really cannot understand what you are saying. Can I call you back in a few minutes?

It was true. Despite the brief relationship that they had, Tasnim can almost recall everything about Adam. The way they avoided each others in the morning, scared that the colleagues will find out and how they gleefully waved at each other in the lobby when no one was around.

And then everything stopped. Adam no longer said hi to Tasnim. No more playful invitations to breakfast or lunches because they both know it was too early.

Of course, there were no more morning messages.

‘ Adam, where are you?’