Reminder: not for advanced English speakers. I'm not writing anything on Shakespeare fyi

I have thought of writing something about this since...let me see, last year but you know things and work (and pure nothings) do get in the way. So here goes:

I noticed that voila is not being used in appropriate places. Voila is actually a French word and of course, it's pronounced as wala (same as moi its mwa, not MOI). It is equaivalent to there you go or in a cruder way, amek ko. So, spelling it as walla will just make it weird.

Still on the French issue, saying 'Pardon my French' means that person has just swore or something. Not that they are talking in a different language but check if they just did. You know, insurance.

When a writer puts 'Tell me about it', it doesn't literally mean that he or she is going to tell everything about it so just quit waiting. What they are trying to say is 'Yes, I know about it. I'm also feeling the same'. It's just an expression. Don't make the mistake of asking the writer 'When are you going to tell the character his or her problems.'

Shut up. This may be familiar to those who have watched Princess Diaries. Shut up means 'No, you can't be serious', 'That's impossible. It can't be! Darn, I'm screwed' not 'I don't want to listen to you so close your mouth please'.

Got to do some last minute shopping for birthday present. Yeah, I do put a lot of thought on what to give people. By the way, thank you very for those who came yesterday; Fai, Jojo, Caha and NJay. Thanks for the present Jo, it was an instant hit in the office. Oh I do bring stuffed toys in the office since nearly everyone has something animal-like, cute, cuddly thing. Sho adorable. And somebody has even hinted on adopting it. Haha.. no way Jose.

To serunaifaqir: I really forgot your event in MPH tomorrow. But I do hope it will be a blast.

Have a fantabulous weekend ahead. Happy Independence Day and Selamat Berpuasa. And to aynone having any kinds of competition, wishing you the best of luck. I'm stuffing my face with cakes tomorrow.

I just had a momentary writer's block. One phone call managed to kill the rest of my brain cells. How tragic.

Everything, as in everything is at the tip of your fingers now. You want to know about Jose Rizal, Jared Padalecki, Steve Jobs ... well namely almost everything. You don't even have to get out of your smelly pijamas. With a touch of the start button, you can access the whole universe.

Welcome to the Internet age. Hail Pak cik Google. Now, everybody loses their privacy. With a click of a button, you can be retrace. Sounds scary? Don't because it's the truth. Just embrace it.

This Tim Berners-Lee invention has certainly changed our lives from relying on the books to relying on the Internet. Clueless about a word? Refer to the WWW. Wants to know the stock market? WWW is the answer. Wants to know dos and don'nts during dates? WWW. I mean I'm entirely reliant on the WWW too these days. Having cut off from the thing for a few seconds can just drive me crazy.

Seriously, I have no idea why I write this. I just wasted my few minutes because I just found out this entire has no motives at the end of the day. I'm just babbling.

God, you have lost it, dear.

P/S: Writer now has to bang her head on the table as she believes some of the screws have totally been unscrewed

Ma mere was admitted to the hospital on Saturday midnight. Doctor said Mum suffered from heart attack, a mild one. But her being her, she happened to be the healthiest patient in the ward. Everybody was lying on the bed while she's the only one sitting on the bed and chatting with visitors.

She refused to be brought to the hospital when she first felt the pain at 8pm. And when my big brother arrived at around midnight she decided to agree to be brought to the hospital (I am not living with them). And the doctor said: 'You had the pain at 8 and waited until nearly midnight to go to the hospital? That was very brave"

And when I knew what happened, of course I nagged like there's no tomorrow. About the part when she insisted to wait instead of rushing to the hospital of course.

A very simple test can help save lives. It is actually very easy to detect heart attack. The early sign could be the failure to have complete use of the left hand, be it difficult to raise the hand, bending it or moving it either. Mum said that's what exactly happened to her. Because this is the first time that it happened to her, she was actually not aware of what she was going through. But she did confirm of feeling painful on her left arm.

Another tip is to test whether the patient has difficulty to speak. Ask them to say the simplest or words and see if they are able to say it without difficulty.

In this age, we have to admit that heart attack is no longer 'penyakit orang kaya' (sickness for rich people). Everyone is actually prone to it now, regardless of their income, age and race. A simple knowledge can help us save lives.

Cold drink addiction called a bad habit | CNA
August 21, 2008

TAIPEI, Taiwan -- Addiction to cold bottled drinks on hot days is a bad habit in terms of both environmental protection and health, warned an official from the John Tung Foundation yesterday.

Drinking and consuming excessive amounts of bottled cold drinks, particularly purchasing them from convenient stores, will only cause those franchises to consume more electricity in order to boost sales -- which is eventually detrimental to the environment, said Hsu Hui-yu, a foundation official in charge of nutrition and related affairs.

The John Tung Foundation is an anti-smoking group seen as one of the most effective nonprofit lobbying groups in Taiwan.

Hsu quoted tallies from the Ministry of Economic Affairs as indicating that electricity consumed by refrigeration storage facilities in Taiwan's convenient stores constitutes about one-third of all energy consumed by the stores.

The refrigerators in each of the 8,120 convenient stores nationwide consume an average of 51,000 kwhs each month, and as a result, the carbon dioxide that is discharged during the generation of the electricity consumed by all of the convenient stores in Taiwan each month could equal as much as the carbon dioxide taken in by 950,000 full-grown trees, Hsu said.

Aware that sales of cold drinks and dairy products have been one of the culprits of increased energy consumption, many advanced countries have taken measures to reduce electricity consumption by related industries and services, Hsu related.

The United Kingdom is promoting the sale of preserved milk to replace fresh milk, as storage of the latter consumes more energy, Hsu said, adding that most of the soft drinks in Germany, Portugal and Spain are sold and stored at room temperature. He also noted that Wal-Mart Stores in the United States require its suppliers to provide the amount of greenhouse gas emission for each of their products.

The UK's Tesco grocery franchise has promised that all of the over 80,000 products on their stores' shelves will carry tags telling how much carbon dioxide emission is involved in producing and marketing the products, Hsu added.

"For the part of the consumers, they can help reduce energy consumption and carbon dioxide emission simply by drinking fewer cold bottled drinks," Hsu reiterated.

Meanwhile,Wu Chien-lung, a doctor of traditional Chinese medicine with Taipei City Hospital, said he does not think it's smart to consume cold drinks or ice excessively in the summertime.

"Gulping icy drinks probably cools people down and delights them on hot days, but people with weak stomachs could suffer diarrhea, those with weak kidneys could develop dydroncus, some could develop skin rashes, and black eyes and nasal problems could become worse after people drink their fill of cool liquids," Wu said.

Those who are on a diet should refrain from bingeing on cold drinks, as nearly all of those products could affect their metabolism if consumed excessively, he added.

This was the email I received this morning, just when I sat on my chair. And being the ever so cynical, I sent this:

wow. i never thought drinking will be such a SERIOUS business. now i know that drinking alone can lead to global warming.

i guess the only thing that's free on earth right now is to fart (at your own risk).

How wrong was I to say that because I soon got this reply:
Aishah,
Farting is not free you know. The NZ govt is actually taxing local farmers for gas emission by their cows. Everytime their cows fart, they have to pay..

So, nothing is free now? And everything leads to global warming as cows fart were found to pollute the environment more than the traffic. How very scary.

Farmers raise stink over New Zealand 'fart tax'

Reminder: I couldn't, for the life of me, remember if I have written on this or not so please, let me torture you for a few lines.

I'm so so so relieved. This is why:

"You seem to be in the middle between the Type A and Type B personality. In this case, the middle ground is good. Your attitude to life is more of the "smell the roses" kind and you know how and when to relax. Nonetheless, you realize that picking up a challenge and competing a little bit for your place in the sun can add some spice to your life. The equilibrium is important, so don't let your hostile, aggressive, and competitive alter ego take over too often. Generally, you are easy to be around, and people tend to feel relaxed and comfortable in your presence. Yours is a very healthy attitude towards life. "

Do you remember Chang or Chong from What Happens In Vegas? The ever-competitive colleague of Joy? Or Dr Yang, the one in Grey's Anatomy? They compete and strive to get what they wish, almost to the point of sacrificing anything. It's scary to see them being in fierce competition with almost everything.

I have to admit that I can be very impatient such as queieng to do a bank transaction during lunch time. The slighest delay will make me go mad and I will be silent for hours. Because I know, one I open my mouth, I will be screaming for hours and that will so not be good to me and the people around me. Most of the time, people don't really realize this because I have this 'Silly' sign stamped on my forehead.

I'm not a studious person but I'm an extreme workaholic. Once, in my precious job, a friend asked what time I arrived at work and he was so shocked that I arrived before 8am and sometimes leaving at almost 10.30 pm. I was so driven to succeed that finally he said: You'd better watch out. Doing this for a very long time will lead you to burn-out. That sentence made me think, for a very long time.

And there was once when my alter-ego took me almost completely. That was the time for the hardest break up I've ever faced in my life. Consequences to the breakup was severe..let's not get to the details. Others inability to achieve something that they want pissed me off then, especially when it will disrupt me. What I wish to do right now is to be more forgiving, more understanding and being a better listener. Let's just say I learnt the lesson the hard and most expensive way.

Last week had been really difficult. My pulse were pretty quick (yes, I have this obsession of checking it very so often) due to constant stress. I left late every single day so now, thanks to the school holidays, I am able to hop on the bus at 7.30 and arrive at the office with a hot steaming pau. And leave the office as soon as it's getting dark. And thank goodness my pulse are getting better (though I do realize that I have to stretch this week).

Well, I'd like to rant more but the time is running out.

You Don't Mess With The Zohan

I like Adam Sandler. Either in Click, the Longest Yard or ok..I'm bad at remembering movie titles. And I was totally overjoyed when someone texted 'I have 2 tix for Zohan movie preview on Sunday.'

It was funny as always but honestly I can do with less remarks leading to indecent acts (I can't bear typing this knowing that there are school children here; I can't imagine the parents who brought their kids into the hall last Sunday). It was everywhere and non-stop, to the point of making me sick.

The message was loud and clear; go after your dream, stop fighting, there'll be opportunist here there and everywhere but seriously, it made me gag as most of the time there will be remarks like 'my Pe Pe is not sti**', Bang Booming and stuff. An ex-soldier cutting hair is funny but then offering something else after the haircut was a bit of a turn-off.

I honestly think that they should change the U rating to something like 18-- because it was totally not ok to see a guy and an all woman walking out of a closet with the woman looking clearly dishelved. I feel offended for one reason or another. Maybe I was totally unprepared to see those things on the screen when I walked into a hall that showed U-rating movie.

Luckily it was free tickets. And I made the smart move to go with a female companion. Mon a vis, it will be very embarassing to bring a smaller cousin or a male friend to watch it.

But there were of course hints of disagreement on US intervention into Israeli and Palestine matters. Adam did try to put it into perspective that things happening in the Middle East might not really originate from there but rather being stirred-up by some other party.

And of course, there was a part where Zohan realised who he wanted in the end and the usual matter that 'love conquers it all' (read: puke gag gag puke gag gag puke puke) .

What I enjoyed the most was Rob Scheiner's (The Animal) appearance. God, he was funny. He was Salim, one of the Palestinian who came to America to earn money. I honestly think that the funniest part was when they called Hezbollah... should not type or I'll give it all away.

It started with Zohan being bored with his duty of supposedly fighting terrorist, trying to find peace between Palestine and Israel. He escaped after fighting Phantom (the inspector or the police in Transformers) and heading to New York. And story starts here after he cut his hair on the airplane.. as well as another two dogs namely Scrappy and Coco.

The story obviously was researched very well. The Middle Eastern accent when talking English (not proficient talkers) was shown very clearly in the movie and it amazed me as it reminded me of a few people from the region that I met during university years. And it really depicted the way how they socialise with other people and even how they negotiate with each others. So I can say I like it in terms of effort. Just beware to bring someone older rather than your 11-year old cousin or you will turn beetroot in the face.

My rating: 2 bedak sejuk cap Mak Mah (read: tak tgk pon mak tak kesah)

ah...life couldn't get better. Thank God It's Friday...woohoo!

got plans to:
eat Thai food until blue in the face on Fri
buy shirts (cheap ones of course) also on Fri
free movie tickets on Sun (thanks thanks thanks Adi)
be a counch potato on Sat and watch Olympics (darn, I think I finished one bag of kerepek yesterday)
continue french lesson on Sat
bully my cousin for two days

ok i know, my life is not THAT happening but i still look forward to it. yey!

Well, I don't really believe in freedom of speech. Partly, yes, totally no. I'm seriously not being sceptical here, maybe for once. For me, everything has to have a limit. But of course, somehow people love to abuse it saying that 'We have the right to say this, that bla bla bla because of freedom of speech'.

Pardon me but I'm too lazy to Google how many races, skins and languages that we have on earth. So many varieties yet so limited space to live in. IMHO, if every single one of us would like to practise this freedom of speech to the full extent, chances are there will be like three people left in the world. People will be quarreling, killing and God-knows-what because everyone will just blurt out how they feel. What matters to them is to get the message across, regardless of how the other party would feel.

I believe this is where empathy kicks in. Of course, God created mouth to speak among other things but don't forget God created ears to listen to people. Hence the saying 'Cakap siang pandang-pandang, cakap malam dengar-dengar'. OK sorry, I cannot translate that. Thi hi hi.

In a nutshell, I think doing things just on the basis of freedom of speech or any other freedom you can think in the world, should have a limit. We really can't expect to live in harmony unless we respect other people's skin, belief, religion and what not.

Ok, enough rambling for today. Got to get ready for Art exhibition. suddenly I feel a wee bit artsy-bitsy.

:D :D :D thanks for the wishes, lunches and presents. its certainly has been a very interesting three days.
i love books generally and of course, i was overjoyed with the book that i received.
this has been the best year ever yet. thanks to everyone, thank you so so so much

'why aren't you eating? diet?'

'e asek diet je'

i sometimes don't eat real food for lunches because i'm afraid of falling flat on my face on the table and snores. i'm so so afraid that i will be sleeping so i cut the food intake. not really for dieting. i mean seriously, if you sit beside me, you can hear a rockestra from my stomach by 10.30. and you can't imagine how hungry i am by 10.30, let alone at 12. but i just have to resist from eating a whole plate of nasi goreng pattaya or nasi goreng ayam. and yesterday, i have to waste a really scrumptious nasi goreng ayam because i'm just afraid i will be sleepy in the office (well, my friend helped to order it and i forgot to say separuh).

i'm not on diet. i'm constantly hungry. thank god to wheat-based products. i can actually put the growling stomach at the back of my mid.

though sometimes, i do feel like munching on the stapler bullets.

someone has been acting very weird. it's like he's cutting the ties. and i'm actually ok with it. it always feels like he has some ulterior motives behind our friendship but hey! maybe he was just weird.

started on coding. it's interesting because there will be puzzles to solve on height of the importance of the stories. well, i think it's cool and i have a colleague who is giving me briefing on codings. for her to practise really. and those can be really valuable to me.

am landing back in Cyberjaya for the second time. and before i forgot, to those who are graduating, CONGRATULATIONS! now you've graduated, go and conqueur the world. rule the kingdom with iron fist and crunch anyone who dared to defy your words.

P/S: cutting lunch time to half an hour as am planning to try to go back early tomorrow. because i'm a snail. usually i will only be able to meet my target at 7.

Reminder: yes I played tricks on telemarketers but customer service representatives clearly differs from telemarketers.

Maybe it was just me but I think it really is happening. What you say? Customer service executives in Malaysia, some of them, seem to have attitude problem.

Customer service executives. The designation itself has the part of 'service'. And you are in the service industry. Your job is basically to serve people or you are too proud to read through your job requirement hence you are not in the know. According to Dictionary.com (one entry only because it will be too long to paste everything), service means
- the performance of any duties or work for another; helpful or professional activity:

I used to be a customer service representative and I always think that I want to make other executives' lives better now. I know that listening and picking up phone calls can be tiring especially when the queue shows like 50 at a time. So, I try to be the customer who addresses the executives by name and be nice and sound nice.

Know what I get? Rubbish. Rubbish service for the call that I made.

My very recent experience was when I called a fast-food outlet. I was trying to be helpful and spelled my office address in country code. And talk about arrogance, he stopped me saying:
'Ya, I know..' and proceeded to say something else.
' No, that's not the name of the company. Get this down.' Mr Know It-All, you think I don't know the name of my own company?
And when the order came, my company name was spelled wrongly.

Seriously, do they ever train their staffs? Or would they want to consider providing hearing aids to their customer reps?

Then, another experience with telecommunication provider. I called up to change my credit limit and I know it was very early in the morning but that was the only time that I'm free. Definitely not at 5, I'm not that crazy. And the person who picked up the call sounded just fresh out of the bed and I was the one who greeted her very cheerfully, Good Morning and all. OK fine, I know it's very early.

When I proceeded to ask how can I change my credit limit, she went on and said, 'You have to pay this amount first before asking for a change,' which is fine. And then she added a second later: 'Faham tak?' in this patronizing voice.

I was shocked. It wasn't like I asked her three times. She told me to pay my bill the first time only and I truly don't get it when she said Faham tak like I asked her three times. Her evaluation? I gave her 2 out of 5. And that was considered generous.

In my last job, we were told to handle the customers well and if the customers are rude, we were to warn them three times before putting down the phone. There should be no sarcasm unless the customers are really really rude. And we have to apologise if the system was down or of the like although we were not at fault. Yes, it sounded dumb but that's what you do when you are in the service industry. People don't call you up for free and I'm sorry to add this but that is your job.

I rarely use customer service help in Malaysia and when I do, most of the times I will be disappointed. Of course, there are a few who are good but when I asked around, this is the kind of treatment that they get. If these customer reps are working in ... well, another country near us, they are done for. My colleague's name appeared in one of the newspapers as one customer made a complaint about an airline and he was just the messenger.

My advice is this: if you think that you are too good, too impatient, too arrogant, too intelligent, too smart, too lazy then too bad, just quit the job of customer service rep because as far as I'm concerned, Malaysians are reasonable. Of course, unless you wronged them. Hence, if you are not patient enough or can't bear answering simple questions, why not take a raincheck and apply for other jobs?

I'm sad. Again, do they ever train customer service representatives properly over here?

Two Aishahs in The Office...

Normal occurances at the office:
Siti: Aishah (Siti called me, sitting opposite her)
Aishah: Siti
Siti: Did you abstract this story on Barito? (showing an email in her inbox)
Aishah: Let me see (after a few seconds). Ya, I did that.
Siti: I will forward this to you.

An email on my abstract was sent to Siti. We have the same names and sit beside each other (kind of). So, one has to be called Aishah while the other one is Siti. We wear scarves and spectacles. I'm shorter by a few good inches but you can hardly tell the difference when we are sitting.

C: Aishah, come
Aishah turned around. Actually, C was calling Siti. Luckily I didn't say anything or I'd be embarassed.

It's kind of cute having the colleagues confused about your names. I can become Siti and Siti can become me. We have the same name, with exactly the same spelling. So, the only difference is our father's name.

I got emails meant to be sent to Siti quite a few times. And just recently, one of our colleages called Siti by her father's name.
C: I can't differentiate which is which so I have to address one of them via their fathers' names.

And this morning someone mis-thanked us for half a pau. I actually gave it and Siti was thanked for it. It's hard not to laugh when Siti said:
"I'm starting to feel not unique now. Why is it so difficult to differentiate us?"


I used to have a classmate in school with the same name, spelling and all. But maybe because I used a different name, it didn't pose any problems. And we shared the same sense of humour. We can totally relate to each others joke and that is pretty cool. I've never met someone like that before.

Ah, there's hot curry puffs in the pantry. Got to attack them ASAP. So long people, have a nice day.

Friends TV Series. Oh yeah, the renowned series Friends. Somehow, I cannot forget them. The series will be relevant to me like at all times.

I love Ross the most. He's sweet, charming, geeky, thoughtful and funny. Of course, he's a good whiner. Ha ha. Then, I love Chandler. He's so funny, I can barf my brain out listening to him. He's just so wacky. Then comes Phoebe. I just can't get over 'Smelly Cat'. As I'm typing, I can basically hear her sing.

Rachel is the one with great taste in fashion. Love her style and her revenge tactics and how she transformed from a spoilt Rachel to an independent one. And then comes Monica Gellar. She has OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). She wants people to like her, perfectionist, loves the lime light and wants to be in control at all times. A great cook, tidy and understanding wife.

I like Joey the least. OK he's cute but that's it. Of course, I can still love his silliness.

Then, a friend dropped the bombshell. 'I think you are Monica Gellar'. How I wish. Then, Mum wouldn't scream for me to keep my room tidy. And, I can have a detailed plan for the next three years (which I don't). And great cooking skill. But no. And actually, I like seeing her but not being her. It must be quite annoying to know somwone who loves to be in control of everything.

'No, you're not her exact duplicate. You do have a specific goal sometimes and determined to keep to it.'

Come to think of it, I do inherit some of her OCD. Ha ha ha. I'm overprotective of my things, short on temper, cannot bear people not understanding my instructions, bossy and have this itch everytime I see people spell something wrongly. God, how I refrain myself from saying anything of the latter bcuz I tu can't spill. Ok not funny, sorry.

This friend of mine, she resembles Ross. She hated Ross but it's just so her. She actually quoted statistics while talking to me. That's it, only Ross-the-dinosaur-lover speaks like that. She's thoughtful, sweet, funny and brainy. Just the perfect Ross.

I found Rachel in my other friend. I love her clothes and her style. I just do. I can't imagine me wearing high heels. I might just fall over like 500 times if I were to wear heels but she does it the best. She has the most beautiful accessories collection, IMHO. I love her watches too. In short, she has great style.

Who I like to meet most? Chandler! I can't imagine having a friend as funny as him. It will be absolutely great. And I want to meet Phoebe too! She's just quirky and funny. I enjoyed the show most when she was pregnant with the triplets.

Time is running out and I have to go. I'm Monica Gellar. Who are you?

OK, so I have this habit to love talking to a very old friend for hours. Oh yeah, mengalahkan akap ngan boipren. An yesterday, we were talking about radicals.

Radicals in the community are similar to free radicals in the body; they kill.

It's never wrong to be an environmentalist, food lover, nature lover or whatever it is. But there's one thing you have to remember, just when someone does not live in a so-called energy-efficient home, it doesn't mean that the person does not want to save earth. Just because you LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEE nature, that doesn't give you the authority to chastise somebody of polluting the air. Maybe he or she donated tonnes of money to WWF, how would you know?

Radicals, ah..living with or without them. Once in university, I had this conversation:

A: I wan tto join the trip to Japan too
B (listened intently)
A: But, where do I pray then?
Me: Wait, you mean Muslim's in Japan doesn't pray? Of course there will be a place for Muslim's to pray right?

And this is a person who you will take one look and say, this person is well-learnt in religious thingy. Well, well well, maybe the person is too religious to think that you can pray everywhere in the world provided it's clean.

Kadang-kadang ko rasa ko bagos sangat sampai lupa orang lain pon semayang jugak, baca Quran jugak, pose jugak.

I love nature too. Seriously. But that doesn't give me the right to say Nokia is a sinner, a big one for making handphones. Necause we are living in the now, in this technology-ridden era. If you want to achieve 0-pollution, I think it will be impossible. To cut it and reduce it, yes. It's possible.

Ah, time to enjoy the cool air in KLCC. So, by people. Have a nice weekend. I won't stop eating until Sunday night. Tata

stop for a moment? I know time flies but it used to fly on planes, now it travels through spaceship. There's like 3,458 things to do in a day but there's like no time to do it.

I know for a fact that living in this world is hectic but this, this is almost unbearable. One blink and it's already June. One blink and my baby cousin is now dating. One blink and the sun roses. One blink and ...arghh! I'm going nuts.

My French book is still there where I left it. And its nearing the end of the week and I haven't actually learnt a new word. We all have the same time given to Helen Keller, Isaac Newton and all the great people in history but why does it feels like its flying like really, super fast?

Is it because we are supposed to do so many things in such a short time? We are expected to do so many things in one shot? Like, one has to be successful at work, get good salary and have to keep fit. In order to do that one has to:

a) hold a high position in an office (which may require long laborous hour at the office)
b) earn good money (keeping up and finishing the work)
c) keeping a healthy body
wait a minute. If one is supposed to do all that, would 24 hours be sufficient?

"Take it slow" people say. What? Are you serious? Everyone is pushing and striving to be the best, going faster and faster, cutting sleep, social time and family time and yet you say 'take it slow'. Who are we kidding? We know that it's almost impossible to keep it slow. We know nothing will wait for us.

I feel the pinch now. Maybe it was just me but I seriously feel that this is too fast. There are so many things to pay that slipping the performance is really not an option. And then there's the keeping fit thingy. And to have good health, one must take good food too (which is known to be expensive).

I want to just scream 'Stop!' at the top of my lungs. I don't know how long I can stand KL and I definitely cannot imagine living in other big cities like the Big Apple. Everything is too fast, I feel like ...

I don't know what to feel anymore. I just feel that a day passes without me noticing. And I hope I'm not reaching breaking point.

Maybe I need a break. With breaking of the waves and voices of seagulls. I don't know.

Let's start with a situation:

A guy was running like there's no tomorrow followed by a crowd. A bystander who observed the crowd concluded that the crowd was running after him because he was a thief. Apparently, the bystander was wrong. The crowd was chasing him because he was a super popular singer. See? Don't fall for the trap of 'A picture tells a million words'. A picture can tell a million lies.

IMHO, there's no right or wrong in this world. There's always a grey area to everything and another side of a story. What matters most is how you fight to proof it, to share your opinion in the most convincing manner. For example, Darwin's theory. They are believers of this theory and there are non-supporters. He even derived the similiarities between human and apes to make his point. Well, those who were convinced by his theory will say he's telling the truth. I for one will refer to the holy Quran.

OK, that might not be so strong. I don't know how many people watched Justice on NTV7. They were showing this show up until last month if I'm not mistaken. It doesn't matter whether you are right or wrong. What matters is how you are going to state your opinion. If the people can feel that you are a teeny weeny bit inconfident, they will contradict you and you lost the case. But, if the alleged were confident and brave enough to act, they will win it all. It doesn't matter if they're right or wrong. What matters to them is they manage to make an escape.

Take one topic for example, talent. One can say that having a talent is useless. I honestly don't think so. I mean you may not be able to live solely from it (let's be realistic) but if you can create an opportunity or grab an opportunity from it, I believe you have the chance of making a small profit out of it. The only issue with those with talents I think is setting realistic goal. If you have karaoke-like voice, try not to aim the VMA. Set it a little lower and use it as an insurance like being a jingle singer or something. You might not survive solely on it in the country but just to gather some fund, it may come as a good thing.

Writing, ouh yah, most probably you'll end up like a beggar if you depend on it solely. Again, try to make a tidy sum of it. If it's too difficult, try to penetrate international market. I have a friend who know someone who's totally unknown here but won a poetry competition in the UK through an online competition. UK pound, babe. But did he try to depend solely in his writing ability? No. But that one shot, he did turn it into capital.

There's always two sides of a story. One has a talent and can be brave and bold to try to quit everything and depend on the talent only. Of course, if he/ she made it, he/ she is going to win big. But if failure is the outcome, embrace it because the damage has been done, do whatever you can for damage control.

Another story is a person who also has a talent but tries not to depend too much on it. He still tries to acquire the knowledge needed to survive the world and at the same time, create opportunities (like sending portfolio to companies for his caricature) and did make a tidy sum out of it.

If you have a talent, use it to the maximum. Never ever let it go to waste. If you can draw, use it while you are acquiring new things. Draw out your notes if that is the way to help you remember things. Sing your notes out if it can help to etch the things in your head. During your free time, create opportunity by buat muke tak malu to production houses and sing jingles. You are not going to lose everything, maybe a little of your time.

Of course, the simpler way is just to take yes/ no, black and white kind of thing. But giving these only two options will not enable one to tell the story behind the scene, to defend their self. Its it a bit cruel, don't you think?

I know, I love gray areas.

Letter to My Child

Hi kid, Mum here. How are you? I hope you are fine, just came back from school and deciding which homework to attack first, English or Mathematics.

I'm sorry for not addressing your name because I'm now just 26 and single so I haven't thought out the name for you and the rest of your siblings. I don't even know whether you are a good looking one or a hot one but either way, you got to behave ok?

Why did I write this letter? Well, next year, you are going to be a legal adult (18 years old) and you are to make the biggest decision in your live ever; entering tertiery education (no chance of escaping, I've all planned out to enroll my kids into university although I'm still single and no sign of your dad just yet). Don't make the same mistake as I did, please. You want to know what my mistakes are? Hold on tight, here we go.

You see, I pretty much regretted my decision not to enroll in English courses but resort to Engineering faculty during my university years. I was conned by the saying that 'with an engineering degree, you will have a better chance at picking your job later. You can choose engineering, IT or management.' Honestly, those are crap. In 2008, I want you to know that I'm working as an Information Analyst, which requires writing skills and reasonable English. If I'd picked English Literature or Modern Linguistics, I will be uber happy and will not have this humongous PTPTN debt.

Kid, play your strength to the core. Don't ever be trapped like me. If say you are going to take English course (honestly, I will be your biggest supporter), you will be able to make Masters and if you want we can work it out for you to PhD. That is even better than your Mum who has an embrassing GPA for her engineering+design degree. See? You have better advantage than anyone else.

And don't even think of paying between 60k-70k for a degree here. That is seriously equivalent to a degree in Aussie and yeah, I kind of regret it. You know, I have to fight for my life if I want to continue studying with this CGPA and I know if I'd play my strength, I would have gotten better.

Your Mum is now thinking about so many things that my bestfriend and I made a plan to marry a filthy rich white guy to settle our Debt. Just in case you just got back from counting your father's liver spots, you should know that we managed to carry out our plan. If you have just gotten back from marathon with your Dad, I have magically inherited gold from an unknown acquaintance.

Mum got to go for now. As the eldest, I don't wish you to share the whole letter with your siblings. Instead, I want you to lecture them to:

A) Give you the satisfied feeling after nagging someone
B) Give them the opportunity to be nagged by someone else.

OK kid, keep this as a token from your Mum who is at the moment going to be 26, single and have humongous amount of liability. She hasn't got a driving licence and had to wait for 7 months to get a laptop. Don't lead a life like your Mum, rather be smart and study over seas with huge debt than studying here with huge debt. I will leave you with that and get back to my work kid.

P/S: don't tell Dad about my 'husband-searching method'. Promise?

I Have The Hots For ..

...men in suites but not heading to the office. Like football managers. Darn, even Donadoni looks a bit macho in his suit (which is really unnerving). And Click Five. Love them because of the hot singer. No worries Jared, I still love you

...people whose names starts with J. Like Jared Padalecki, Josh Harnett, James Morrison and Jason Maraz. Of course I love Takeshi Kaneshiro, Ben Barnes and Damian Kulash. But, majority of those that I like has names starting with J.

... Careless Whispers. For one reason or another.

...books. My cosy little room is turning into a warehouse. Books are everywhere, literally. On the floor, table, chair, shelf, cupboards and ironing board. Yes, you got that right.

...books. Again. I have monthly allocation for books that I successfully exceed every month (yay!). And I usually don't manage to read them until the end of the month.

...Reader's Digest. They are just oh-so-yummy and witty.

Enough about me. What about you?

For some unexplainable resons, people thought that Iw as the one having trouble based on my last post. No, it wasn't me. It was some insight on some insight given to another person. Oh yeah, I love trying-to-make-no-sense-at-all in my speeches.

One of the political leaders were detained yesterday. All plans made with a friend were ditched down the drain. God knows what will the supporters do on weekends so we might as well not care to go out. Sit at home and be nice, dainty ladies (and grow old). Become the couch potato and pledge to memorise the TV programmes. Anything but going out.

And then, he was released. But still, we are unsure of what will happen so repeat the next paragraph here.

Batman, Dark Knight (more like a Dark Lord) is here. I didn't realised it was out yesterday. But I think I'm just going to watch it some other time. I know people will be flocking to the cinema to watch Heath Ledger aka Joker but I'm ok of being the last one to know. The reason why I say Dark Lord is of course, the slightly more attention given to the late Ledger. Well, what to do, he's famous afterall. And I know they'll be abit of 'ah sayangnye' if he made it to the Oscar list. But life goes on and there you have it.

TGIF. Yes, that's what I'm feeling right now. I woke up with a stupid smile on my face and picturing myself going back early. I've been craving for salad since last Wed so might as well make one today for myself. Apart from love cooking, it's a strategy to cut cost too. Ok fine, I'm just a cheapskate.

Ah, Master S is in the pantry. Got to join her.

From My Desk : Big Names Comes With..

big responsibilities of course. What were you thinking about titles, jobs and promotions? Hot chicks only? Yeah, you do get hot chicks but of course with something extra.

I remember vividly that there's this one time when I wrote a poetry (which I'm too lazy to look up for right now) when someone said, 'be careful what you wish for'. As time goes by, with me being the pathetic, one hell of an attention seeker me, I still cannot get out of my silly habit of wishing for things that I shouldn't be wishing for. Things like wanting a job (back then, which proves to take a toll on my health) and wanting friends that I shouldn't even look twice in the first place, I realised that we have to be very careful on what we wish for.

And questioning the authority, might prove to be hazardous to oneself. Try it, go on. Demand an explanation from your boss why you should be doing this boring little thingy that made you feel positively like a small dimwit, just an example. See what we'll happen. Either you will have to pack your things in a net little box or get a promotion with tonnes of work to do. What, you think being a CEO doesn't require you to do anything meh? There's a lot of thinking and monitoring to be done. Well, this is for CEO with calibre of course. Others don't count.

And after opening our mouth (or sealing the letter), prepare to walk the talk. People, honestly, in the top line, doesn't really like the talker when they really can't perform. If we want to be one, be very charming and by all means, do whatever you promised to do.

Why the rambling? Well, first and foremost to keep me on the ground. To remind me that this is my job and I would have to take responsibility of it, regardless of my puffing and huffing while doing some Indonesian sources. Basically as a reminder for myself that to question authority, one must be prepared for the consequences. Think about the pros and cons, look at it from the technical side before finger-pointing (I was not given enough work, she was doing nothing at the top, the higher management doesn't care what happens to me e.g).

Human are creatures that are hard to satisfy. This is why I wrote this, as a reminder to myself. Well, you can take some if you want to.

P/S: I know you hardship darl. But that's what engineers do I guess. Sabar eh?