I’m utterly, honestly terrified. I’m stuck with my story and I can’t move anywhere. The deadline is approaching and barring its fangs at me. Those yellow fangs dripping with blood. And yet, I have no idea on what I’m supposed to be doing.

And I have no idea what I should be doing on 31 January 2009. Maybe I should seriously be thinking about migrating for real now. I have no idea whether I should be reading a poetry, a story or just roll up into a ball and cry piteously on the stage. And I don’t know where I should seek help from. This is maddening.

There’s this thump! Thump! Near my ribs too. I’m concerned if my heart is just going to leap out of the ribcage. As if something good will happen but I don’t know what.

Peti ais. This is even harder than having to learn Morse code. Maybe I should come up with my own Morse code because I’ve been browsing my blog and I was unable to understand what I wrote in the past entries. What’s the whole point of writing if I was not able to look back and re-live the terrible doom?

I’m like so scared right now. I really cannot think straight. And I cannot concentrate, can’t find inspiration and so on and so forth. This is so difficult I just feel the need of throwing myself out of the window. Except mine has grills so I won’t be able to do it. Woman, you are rambling.

I should stop before it gets worse/ Fini