'did she miss me?'

if you come here for a heart-wrenching story about someone missing their ex-girlfriend, I'm sorry to tell you, it does not exist.

actually, I'm not sorry. Why should I?

where were we?

ok. so, we will be having gift exchange next month. the usual theme, Secret Santa. will not be a secret by the way. usually, before the day of picking up the names of the Secret Santa, everybody knows theirs already. but whatever. why miss a chance of being surprised once in a while. well apart from myself, that is. because I get surprised every time I see my bank account. of horror, let's be clear on that.

so back to the main story, HR passed the box containing the names for once. I'm half tempted to just put in a tissue in the box just to scare everyone but decided against it. boss was directly behind me, sipping his cocoa (at 3 pm? can you believe that? but it's 9.30 pm somewhere anyways) and I got someone's name. someone new so we know I don't have the slightest idea who that is so yeah...

so the woman beside me, we were chatting. understandably, it's Friday. we are just empty vessels sitting at our desks. we were discussing something important (does eating yogurt makes you fat kind of important?) when I mentioned I have to start looking for gift for a girl. and she asked:

' eh? she didn't come by?'

' wait. maybe she will make her round later.' not realizing that the woman I was talking to did not leave her seat the whole time. it was as if she was covered by an invisible cloak.

' did she miss me? how?' a hint of panic there. the woman can be so sweet. she was afraid that HR will then have to go through who has not picked any name and it will add to the trouble.

' give her a minute' when I saw her peeking from the high wall of her cubicle towards HR,' she's having tea,' she told me over Lync.

' relax. once she completely forgot me when passing around the birthday cards for signing. maybe it's your turn now,' I said. it was meant to be a tongue-in-the-cheek comment but noooooo she went full fledged panic.

' do I go up to see her? do I email her? now?'

' relax. let her finish her shortbread. then email her. but if you want to do it now, I cannot control you.'

you see, for every action there is a reaction. I know it's Newton's Law but unsure which one and too lazy to check anyway.

update: she's just fine. HR came by to give her the box ten minutes later. right around the time I was about to order Xanax online. 

blackout

I have to say, life at the office can be pretty dull..and I mean this in the broadest possible way ever.

Anyways, dull office life, the slow thump-thump in the ribcage as the corporate world continues to consume our souls and all, tapping away on the keyboard and leaving the dreams, we noticed the light flickering. It has started flickering since seven am (most of the people here got in at around seven, semi flexible working arrangement) but no one cared enough to make any noise. we pretty much keep things to ourselves or within the windows of Lync.

it was around nine that I noticed the increase in temperature and while I was discussing with a friend on a certain report to be sent out that morning, we noticed the office keep switching on and off, revving as it do so. naturally, I panicked, saving the documents I was working on a few times because it was an important client (a client originating from the nation between Malaysia and Indonesia. they can *cough* be quite a challenge) and admittedly, I let out a huge breathe after I click send on the report. we are just praying for no immediate *cough* comment.

again, the lights continue to flicker and at one point, some lights went off. I continue to type with one hand while the other hand started putting things into my handbag, just in case the management let us continue our work at home. but it was just false alarm.

the air was thick with anticipation and adrenaline (adrenaline from typing as much as we can while continue to hit save repeatedly). and the other part anticipating an announcement letting us go home.

we were like kids in school, waiting for the bell to ring.

we were like kids at college, waiting for a lecture to end. setting an alarm at the end of the lecture; that happened.

we were like kids, waiting for recess.

we were like kids...ok basically we are actually all kids in a grown up body.

at one point, i closed my eyes and covered my eyes with my palm; just a habit. and I was confused for a few minutes afterwards because I was pretty sure I opened my eyes but all I can see is darkness.

a bit of an exaggeration there but you get it.

it was dark, except from lights from the window and from the emergency exit. we immediately rushed for the front door, letting the light go in and pretending to appear flustered by the heat when all we can think of is 'let us go back.' some even suggested lunch but I was more excited for the going home option.

I ended up socializing with a friend, asking about Fantastic Beasts. it almost became a picnic when someone tore open the chips and chocolates. I have no idea how we have those ready but it was God sent.

from the pantry, we moved to the reception area, placing ourselves as near as possible to the door so we would not miss any announcements of being able to work from the comfort of our homes. in the darkness, our eyes shone of hope (actually of the light from the emergency exit but for the sake of this entry, just let it be from hope). we were hopeful, hardly able to stand still.

chips being passed around while we can hear people laughing, a rarity at such hour. but this was a special day, which may not come again for several months. it almost felt like a joyous occasion, except we shared the joy in the dark.

alas, the light flickered back and everything was bright again. I can see the obvious disappointment on our faces once the power came back on. I can't believe we were that excited to go home.

oh the power failure was because of the defect in the air conditioning system. and we continue to be working in the warm environment for the next several hours until three pm.

Careful when walking to the pantry

you know, pantry, the only place colleagues visit in throngs, with mugs in their hands.

zombie-like in the morning, zombie-like in the evening.

and so, it was the usual story; needs coffee to fuel my body with energy. ouh save the caffeine-dependent souls.

walked into the pantry, nearly walked into the wall because of sleepiness.i was just about to have my fair share of coffee when a colleague who was sitting down, got up.

'careful there,' he said (casually? not casually?).

i was alarmed. did he know what happened last night? that i sabotaged my diet with fries and tons of cheese?

'w..whyyyy?' i asked, with heart pounding against my ribs without the help of caffeine.

' i just farted in there.'and he just walked away, dead pan look.

and i just stood there with my mug, too late to move away from the wafting smell.