looking for something
Originally uploaded by uculer

I am still reading the book about the qualities of the leader. Ouh no, I'm not planning to take over any major seats in the company that I'm attached with but the idea of taking over Richard Branson's company does not sound too bad. Yeah, wishful thinking.

I would like to share this part where the writer touches on loving what you do. Well, that's not the exact word in the book but I am too lazy to walk to my room and take the book so bear with me.

When we were young (I don't think small is appropriate because some people stay small and slim forever.nblasyfafbeufho. Lucky them), we have a lot of fantasies. I remember wanting to become a scientist (nowhere close), a teacher (no chance), a lawyer (loyar buruk bole la) and I may have the dream to become the person who discovers artifacts and fossils. I was driven, reading books after books upon my current fascination then and nothing seemed like a rouutine. Every day was filled with excitement, there never was a moment to feel bored because there's so much things to imagine. Like how I'm going to discover new viruses and teach my soft toys some idioms. Well, being the only girl has its own disadvantages like you'll end up a tree if you really want to push your brothers to play without.

Wait. Maybe I did ask them to climb the tree with me. Well, never mind.

But as we get older, we forgot how to imagine. And when we forgot how to imagine, there's no fun anymore. I personaly sometimes feel trapped. I go through this whole routine of waiting for the bus, walking to the office, pretend to be busy, do the job, read some work-related emails (well if not all the time, almost all the time then) and then go home. Repeat the steps like ten times and be ready to fall into a coma. I'm just painting the scenario though because I'm blessed with an office full of fun people. But I had the experience when I worked with other places. I feel there's nothing that iIcan do. I feel trapped. And I realised that it happened because I let go of the thing that I love to do.

Its good to be doing something that you like and good at. Like, some peope are good at playing the piano but sometimes they forgot to allocate the time to play it, citing reasons like busy, no time bla bla bla. But after reading the particular chapter, I realised that doing something that we love to do is a good way of de-stressing out selves. And doing something that we are good at and honing the skill might even become more satisying.

Go back to the root. Reflect back to the time when we are young (if can, innocent). What are the things that we spend hours doing that we forgot to sleep, eat or even play with other people. Playing hide-and-seek may not be applicable here. Find that activity and start doing it again. Break the routine of just going to work and returning home to sleep. Break it by doing the thing that we love. I love reading and I really can't wait to go back and read something. Reading is something that I love doing since I was a little kid and i can just get lost in the midst of the sea of books. Which reminds me that I didn't manage to get Time Traveller's Time *cries.

I don't know Zila. Maybe my Personal Legend is not teaching. Because I remember writing stories when I was young. A LOT. I spent hours writing and perfecting the characters. Maybe that's my Personal Legend because I enjoy it the most. But I do appreciate you trying to suggest what my Personal Legend is because I was blur. Maybe this is the path that I should take although I may not end up as JK Rowling (imagine having lunch in Buckingham Palace weih) or Stephen King (gile bes ni byk buku jadi movie).

I know what I need to do now. I know what gives me the satisfaction (apart from eating). So, why not go find the thing that you love to do to break the routine? And tell me how it feels.

i picked up my prize in BookXcess today (no zila i didn't but any books'. I choose The Necklace and 21 indispensable qualities of a leader. now i know why i was never a class monitor.

i have started reading the 21 indispensable qualities of a leader. it's not thick but what the author wants to say is nailed straight to the point. and he quoted the words of people that we know like napolean and reagen. or at least people that we can google like marie curie, a Nobel Prize winner.

  i have managed to read quite a few chapters while waiting for my food during lunch. what i read from one chapter is very interesting. its about giving to people, well being generous. the concept is very easy; if you don't give now, the attitude won't suddenly change when you are wealthy.

  and this thing being generous is not only on monetary terms but can be a lot of things. it can be about sharing information, knowledge or the such.

  so, having said that, anyone wants to share information on how to get clothing for women with curves at good prices?

  on  a second note: i'm trying to write a myystery/ criminal-themed like story. don't know how it will turn out (hope it turns out ok). :D

tadi baru dapat tahu perkhabaran itu
saba ye? dari Dia kita datang, kepada Dia juga kita kembali

al-fatihah
maaf tak dapat hadirkan diri
:(

yes selamat hari raya (still. no pics of raya yet. too lazy to upload).

i start working today, after nearly suffering from the mind-numbing boredom at home. that is the major drawback when you had raya in kl; your friends are nowhere to be found (save a few like elle and anne. thanks princesses)

i'm so happy because i won Blog Bonanza 6 from BookXcess. the rest of the entry is here. i have to choose two books out from 4 so can anyone please suggest me something? i don't know which one to pick
here are the books:
Gorgeously Green: 8 Simple Steps to an Earth-Friendly Life – Sophie Uliano
The Necklace – Cheryl Jarvis
Squawk: How to Stop Making Noise and Start Getting Results – Travis Bradberry
The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader – John C. Maxwell

and syud, my raya was boring but of course, meeting elle's niece was really nice. she's so cute; i had to refrain from kidnapping her.

just a short update. will update more (hopefully) tomorrow.

Review: A Greek God in the Ladies Room

  I'm no good with Greek history and stuff. This book tells about Darius' and Alex's relationship when Darius went into the statue that Alexandra (Alex) sculpted. The statue was supposed to be sold for the benefit of the orphanage that Alex grew up. And when Darius went into the statue, it went into life and Alex was charged with theft.

  Things do not get easier when Darius fell in love with Alex. which was not something that that happened to Darius, the God of Gems. Darius entered the statue long before he came to life and managed to see her, hear her talk every single day and play with the kids. Then, as time passes by, Darius' started feeling Alex's touch. And when he came to life, he started to go for Alex.

  Albeit the fact that his father, Zeus, lifted the curse where he will return as a statue by night, his parents wanted him to get married to a goddess of their choice before he will get his powers back. By this time, he was attached to Alex and she has also managed to accept him in his life. She can no longer deny the fact that he loved her and to top it all, Darius had driven Alex to Olympus and introduced her to his whole family.

  Its not easy to get everything that you want. It is also not easy to conquer everything, although you are a God. Enjoyable book but I'd prefer more funny lines. It's a chic-lit, no doubt.

  By the way, I'm selling this book. I can't keep every book that I buy so I was thinking of selling a few books, starting with this and Real World from Nirino Katsuo. Its great if it will be in Klang Valley, the books has only be read once and in a very good condition. The bidding starts at RM10, email me at uculer.at.gmail.com. Winners will be notified by email. Thanks

Matilah feeling kan ?

when we are old and decrepit
Originally uploaded by uculer

I took this picture after a very heavy rain during the third week of ramadhan I guess. beside it was a really beautiful flower so that's why it came out old and decrepit. but no, i'm not going to be all teary-eyed and sad about getting old, its not worth it.

it's hari raya and its raining cats and dogs outside. there was nothing on the TV right now. as you can guess (because of the heavy rain).

you know what's cruel? when you can see the difference in your waistline for a month and when the day comes, you really cannot resist anything. like you can't resist the third helping of rendang. my goodness, i had two helpings before 12 noon. and watching the TV does not help, i tell you.

and then you had to susun the kuih. supposedly in the balang but of course, i arranged it in my mouth first. and gosh, it felt so good. i never thot i'd be able to put anything in my mouth after taking gulps of air tainted with the very smell of kuih raya my auntie made but there i was, eating and tasting every single piece of them in my mouth *happy glee.

it's cold, there's nothing on the TV and i'm supposed to be bored but i'm not. finally i have the time to do all the photo editing that I wanted, thanks to the rain. i've always wanted to edit the pictures, there were too many and my cousins really want the pictures of their cats. or cat. i don't know. the cats look the same to me.

so, tata now. have fun with your family. i'm still having fun because i still get duit raya *i see the smirk, you are jealous.

i'm going to see if there's anymore kerepek in the cupboard. heh

gamba KLCC sebab ai tak beraya kat kampung. takde kampung *kesat air mata

selamat hari raya

berhati-hati di jalan raya

takut nanti tak cukup duit raya

atau tak dapat duit raya

sebab merana di hospital di hari raya

suka tu suka juga
semoga suka kita suka yang bersukat (terkawal)

maaf zahir dan batin
terkasar bahasa
terlanjur perkataan
tersilap perbuatan

semoga syawal ini bawa lebih erti pada kita

ouh sebelum terlupa
saya juga menerima wang pos, cek berpalang (bukan cek tendang), transaksi bank, kad debit, visa, mastercard dan e-gold begitu juga kijang emas sebagai duit raya
terima kasih

i was thinking of posting something about hari raya, complete with e-card and all but too lazy
will do it soon

just a simple hari raya greeting to everyone
take care
have fun
maaf zahir dan batin

p/s: pick up line terbaik hari ini - is this seat taken because i'm not

well, here's a game called 'Who's the Better Stalker' (as if stalking is a good thing aiudnfyf)

she observes him for half a year
kind of know how he is like
knows that his choice in neckties are kind of cool
how much of a workaholic he is
knows that he's getting better with the small talk and all

another she met her former schoolmate and in one day
less than one hour
she knows that he can stand up for his right
popular
spiritual
and she likes him

who's better than?

and selamat hari raya people. maaf zahir dan batin
enjoy your hols

 Real World by Natsuo Kirino

I am actually scared reading this book. I’m scared of Worm in this Real World by Kirino Natsuo. He actually killed his mother because he cannot stand being perfected. Since he was small, all he ever was asked to do was to be better, smarter and work harder. He was told that he had to be first and then with a little effort and he will succeed. Or something along the line.

  I find it interesting to see that Real World mirrors the same identity of other Japanese story, like they have a template or something. It has been years since I read a novel by a Japanese writer. Do we consider Memoirs of A Geisha as Japanese written?

  It’s disturbing to see young people, especially the characters in Real World; having to struggle with their surrounding. It seems that all that their parents can think of was for them to be real smart, excel, enter university and a real top one at that and be popular. Like, not being able to achieve those will make them as a total failure.

  They were young and yet, they were exposed to dangers since they were at a very young age. Kazuko for example, had to face sick people on the train that just cannot help themselves when they see schoolgirls on the train alone. Her parents insisted that she should commute, on her own, on a train to an elite private school. She was still young then and it must be scary to her having to face these sick people.

  But the similarities among the characters were quite outstanding for me. They feel trapped. They do not enjoy their young age because all they had to do was study, go to cram school (I suppose like a tuition class or something, correct me if I’m wrong) and more studying. There was this one part in the book that nearly made me go WHAT in capital letters, red font, font type 72 in KL Sentral. Something where a character said that he studied for 12 hours per day and his grade increased 10%. I’m sorry…study for 12 hours. This is exactly what is happening here, around me at my place. And it is really scary. If local kids end up like this; studying, having no interaction with people, are not encouraged to ‘feel’ about the community, its not impossible to see the things in Real World happening.

  I have rambled to long on the studying part. The story was quite interesting where four young girls were involved in a case where a guy being called as Worm, killed his mother, Then, he stole Toshi’s phone and start calling all her friends. They started talking and in fact, at least two talked for nearly an hour.

  Things turned sour when the four girls got too interested in what Worm did and start helping him to be a runway. In Real World, he progressed from a nerd to a criminal and then to someone who can barely make a decision.

  Real World might be disturbing but it does make me think about the Real World out there. Like, can’t the kids have fun once in a while rather than being forced to study night and day? The online chatrooms, they are still sick people trying to pick up young girls through that place. Isn’t it a bit too decade ago?

  Its something to feel you are blamed and to take the blame. The book is not light at all and Real World made me think real hard that it sometimes got be real frustrated.

  OK adik-adik, mari makan ubat dengan ucapan: nasihat jangan main hujan tu bukan untuk kanak-kanak sahaja. Boleh digunakan pada semua orang (padan muke sendiri tanak pakai payung masa hujan uwe8runfa8yfab)

 

The Manny - Holly Peterson

  Gosh, writing up something for this book is not easy. Not that I don't like it but well, there are some concerns.

  It is tough to become a mom, living in the Park Avenue and showed all your 'toys'. All with the status quo and dress codes to keep up. Most of the wives that Jamie Whitfield knew are those who don't work, have filthy rich husbands, owns private jets and do not eat. They were dolled up all the time and so are their little kids as well as their nannies.

  Unlike the other wives, Jamie worked and she was trying to fit into the community. She was not born into it and dress codes went wrong, jobe went wrong and the marriage is not what it seemed. Philip, the husband, became her fourth child instead of the partner; difficult, grumpy and impossible. And the fact that Dylan, their oldest, was having problems with himself didn't help.

  And here comes the Manny (male version of the Nanny). He loved Dylan and the other two kids, smoking hot and warm. Instead of just working for her, they became more involved and its either the problem in the marriage or it was meant to be, things do get a little more complicated. Jamie got a rude awakening (kind of ) by Peter on her current live, her needs and her feelings.

  I won't say that I did not enjoy this but its not easy to put your thoughts on moral when I read it. Honestly, not as funny as The Nanny Diaries but it got me into thinking real hard. One of it is being superwoman, juggling so many things at one time as well as being who you are.

*have started to try to review books that I've read since it will remind me that 'dah dah aa tu beli buku. hujan pun tau berenti' T_T

orang kate, jangan main dengan api
tapi takpe la kot
mungkin aku nak jadi fire fighter
tak pun nak jadi orang yang main api dekat sarkis tu
pendek kate takpe la
biarkan....

lps ni kalau luke tangan, kaki, muke atau hati
kite jgn kasitau sape-sape tau?
kite diam je buat tak tau sbb kalau kite cerite kat orang
nanti orang akan cakap 'i told you so', 'kan dah kata..','girl...(sambil geleng-geleng kepala dengan muke tidak approve'
sebab orang kate 'someone is going to get hurt real bad'
dan telah terbuti diri kite mcm mane
kapasiti (bukan kapasitor.net) hati kita menahan kelukaan
seeloknya, ukurlah baju di badan sendiri
memang nampak cantik kat patung tapi mungkin tak elok untuk diri sendiri
contohnya, tak semua orang boleh pakai bubble skirt

'there's a clear line between being nice and (sorry) being utterly gullible'

hey, kenape bila aku mintak balik barang aku
aku pulak yang rase bersalah?
contoh macam kau pinjam lampu tidur aku sebab lampu tidur kau pecah dibaling ke dinding selepas bergaduh dengan 'laki kau'
kenape bile aku mintak balik lampu tu (sebab kau tau aku takutkan raksasa di bawah katil dan di dalam almari)
kau berjaya buat aku rasa bersalah?
ada sebab kenapa aku minta

it bugs me you know
lebih-lebih lagi kalau itu yang aku sayang ataupun sesuatu yang aku menang
dan di sinilah patut aku belajar bahawa maaf, aku akan jaga barang dan hati aku sendiri
pertolongan kau, usah kau beri

 

  Anne Frank: Diary of  A Young Girl is the compilation of diary entries of Anne Frank, whose family suffered during the Holocaust. Although the story took place long before I was born, I feel an obligation to look up to this girl for her hopes as well as dreamsand in particular, her will to live.

Anne Frank did not make it since she died two weeks before liberation by British but for me, her spirit stays.

  Anne Frank was among the few families that suffered during the height of Adolf Hitler. At the time when each Jew family were seized, they managed to hid in Otto Frank’s building. However, the hid in her father’s workplace for two years with another family. Imagine living in a tight space during a hard time with another family, it’s not really the brightest of days.

  The little girl did not know whether she will be able to make it through the tiring time and she wasn’t even sure that her writing might be of contribution to those who wanted to record what happened during Hitler’s time, she kept on with her effort. She created a pal and keep writing until their family were betrayed and being turned before being sent to a concentration camp.

  She was young yet she was observant, thoughtful and patient. Anne was not sure what was happening at the time but still, she was patient and tried not to burden the other adults. She kept on keeping her accounts in her diary where she created a few imaginary friends. Her will to live, her fight and her hope made me think how this little girl, knowing that her family can be betrayed, knowing full well that nothing brings more joy to the authorities to kill then but yet, she was determined to live. Despite the hardship, she was determined to go on.

  I was never a fighter and I always give up when I think or sense that ‘heck, I couldn’t win this so why bother?’. But after reading Anne Frank: Diary of A Young Girl, it seems important to keep pursuing the dream, keep working on it and try to find ways to keep it. Because dreams and hope keep one alive and let them focus on their main goal.

 

kelihatan itu muke apun yang sgt kepenatan sekali. di sebelah adalah seorang kawan yang membantu mencintai watak. eh i mean menjiwai. dodol betol la salah eja masa tgk vegas ni

 
apun melangkah semula ke landasan keretapi, mengimbau kenangan dalam perjalanan pulang ke tanah melaya

 
ayu, anda menanti kepulangan seseorang mungkin?

 
ha lambat lagi apun. amek kau. kan dah kene dengan syud

 
caha penyelamat keadaan. kang saje je kene pukul ngan syud lagi

  

 apun bersiap sedia dengan kamera untuk ambil gambar kami

  

 ape bende la tu iskh

  

 saf, pos ni untuk menyangkal kata-kata ishk ke?

  

 tidak, toroy tidak bertindak ganas. beliau cuma ingin melompat ke dalam frame gambar sahaja

  

 cubaan mengambil gambar orang yang sedang mengambil gambar

  

 ya ishk agak menyibuk di situ

  

 sekali due paparazzi. lepas tu gaya ambik gamba tu tak bajet-bajet la

  

 caha park belakang jurugamba

  

 jo, tu perutusan ape?

  

 pos-pos cuba mencapai kete bomba

 
ya masih kurang berjaya nampaknya

ya, sampai sini sahaja untuk kali ini ya

I really can't believe my eyes when I got an email from BookXcess saying that I am one of the winners for Blog Bonanza 4. And I nearly couldn't believe my eyes when I read their post regarding the winners. It's live finally being able to email Jared Padalecki, then having to choose between Jason Wade and Jason Mraz or getting an invitation from Damien Kulash for dinner. OK, obviously day dreaming there.

some of books I managed to buy during one of my many visits to BookXcess. 

With Hari Raya approaching on a jet plane, people should be getting ready for Raya celebration, including me. But no need to ask, the need to buy new clothes, shoes and shawls in multiple numbers have long departed. So I settled on getting just the basic ones and of course cheap (being the cheapskate that I am). However, the drawback will be that I want one made from cotton. It's hard to find (especially during this time) and of course, expensive. Well low supply, high demand ... ok stop with the theory.

  I know what I'm getting myself into. After all, emak started asking for my idea of baju raya long before June. Might have been January but I couldn't decide then. And I managed to bring along friends to accompany me to Amcorp Mall because one of them was amazed on my ability of adding more books already mountain-high pile of unread books. I decided that they need to know about BookXcess and dragged them to Amcorp Mall, with me intending to buy baju kurung.

  The one that I wanted was nowhere to be seen (I have this whole design in my mind) and I proceeded to show them the one place that I go to almost every month, beating the frequency of my visits to Times located about 5 minutes from my office. I'd travel from Pantai Dalam to Amcorp Mall to buy for books.

  Ouh pardon me. I have the ability to be side-tracked like 48 times in one minute (of course, exaggerating).

  They got really excited and the best part was our visit was on 30 August 2009 and my friends wanted to become members. Two members and I got 50% rebates on my books. i caved in into temptations when I'd clearly rejected the idea to go to BookFest in KLCC at that time. I was too happy to get cheap books and decided that Baju Raya can wait (which by now has been changed to there will be no baju raya this year).

  Yes, I have a thing for books. My room is a shoebox and its size was further reduced by the existence of books it stored. But I will never stop because one day, I want to have my own library. Luckily BookXcess grant me the opportunity to get more books at affordable price.

  Another reason to love BookXcess was the news at the very top of the entry where I can now pick either Pook Collection, High School Musical or Inkheart. Nothing beats a good book for me because books are precious. 

  Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers.  ~Charles W. Eliot 

 With that in mind, why wait? If you love books, head on to Amcorp Mall and give BookXcess a visit. Or if you are unsure on what this woman is ranting on, check out their blog first. You'll be surprised. 

BookXcess Blog

 Kapasitor Edisi Raya: Menanti Kepulangan Apun

' Hoh? bahagian satu?' itu kata-kata kucing tersebut slps di alih bahasa

 

Hari ini dia ingin pulang ke tanah malaya. langkahnya yakin dan laju meninggalkan jurugambar yang tidak sempat mengejar kerana beliau memakai wedges maka takut terpelecok. heee

  

fikiran beliau melayang mengingatkan kampung halaman dan rakan taulan

  

terkenang semasa kecil, kenangan bersama keluarga membeli tiket komuter. oke maaf tiada gamba lama maka terimalah ini dan diam-diam saja

  

 rakan menanti dengan penuh sabar sampai mulut herot-herot

 

yang ini pula kebosanan maka mengambil gamba sendiri

  

safina sabar menunggu, begitu juga duku yang santai tidak seperti jo siap bersampin (padahal kasut putih tu kasut apun)

  

kau kenape saf? tenang je macam nia. selamba

  

cubaan menghilangkan kebosanan menanti apun yang akan sampai dari negara matahari terbit

  

 ya, selagi ada masa dan selagi memory card belum penuh

  

kelihatan itu syuhada memegang telefon. mungkinkah signal dari apun yang ingin menyatakan beliau sudah tiba

   

 satu-persatu keretapi lalu singgah di stesen, bayang apun masih tiada

  

mereka tua dimakan waktu (padahal satu je tren)

  

 apun sudah tiba dan itu lintas-langsung dari safina17

  

apun menyembunyikan kesyahduan disambut mesra oleh rakan-taulan

  

senyumnya makin lebar apabila bertemu caha

  

maaf kerana terpaksa mengecewakan anda. kita bertemu lagi. ta~

OK, don't kill me. the pictures are taken after after we have eaten. so tired after the pictures we took in KTM

star of the day. dhamia is it?

dayya and syud berebut star

ok yg pakai topi belakang tu pak tam, tepi die teratak. baju hitam putih kesuma, sebelah kiri itu NJay, yg pakai tudung pink tu tuan punye kamera, sebelah kanan tuan-punye-kamera (apsal panjang sgt), safina17. egyptian sebelah kiri tu tatau sape. (jgn pukol jo)
oh btw i was supposed to place this pic at the end of the entry but too lazy to move it. thi hi hi

apun was playing host. maybe. ouh he's the one wearing the black t-shirt
ape bende la lagi tu apun oiape bende la tu apun. the biscuits on the table was courtesy of imran

four tables, reserved for us

this is the thing about amek gamba suke hati. people won't look at your camera

melissa, what are you staring at? look at apun again. sungguh aktif bersosial

kesuma@ alifah dok jauh sgt :(

dayya dayya (the one in green), plis jgn balik dulu

nia and the cake. the cake itu is the sedap (jahanam bahasa)

plis saf. kalo nak cake tu ckp je. jo was looking at imran actually

nia's expression says it all about the cakes and biscuits. ekspresi tidak pedulikan benda lain dlm dunia selain biskut-biskut itu
dah la bawak kek, lps tu amek gamba lagi. terbaik laorg nak amek gamba die ke die nak amek gamba org?

muke kekonon tak bersalah padahal baru je tumpahkan air

jurugamba sedang berfikir mcm mane nak susun budak-budak ni

the white blur was jo actually, nothing scary so no worries

ah there you go. there are other pictures in someone else's cameras too i think . soory, was too tired so had not much energy to push the buttons anymore T_T