alhamdulillah, we have reached to the tenth day of ramadhan. today, not like last year, i am blessed with good health. thank God.

ramadhan might be the month where i keep reminiscing about lots of things. especially the ones related to the time of innocence and pure happiness. and this year around is no exception. with the arrival of baby imran, i might say that i just can't seem to stop walking down the memory lane.

i am the only daughter in the family. among the 15 granchildren and 2 great grandchildren, i am the oldest girl in the family (my other girl cousin was born a week after me). so you can imagine the excitement for our parents during raya, especially when i live with my grandparents. sometimes it feels weird to have four baju kurung when all you actually do is just sit at home and watch cartoons and then circus (yes, i grew up during that era) all day long. i think there was a time when i had more than that. can't remember.

the new clothes will make an appearance out of the wardrobe during this time around. and due to the understandable and almost predictable attitude of a young child, of course i will be putting it on for at least three days in a row to see how i look in it. yeah, as if there's a difference in all three days. i walked to and fro in the room, usually in front of the mirror, complete with new hairband and all. but i'm careful not to step outside the room because then grandma will know what i was doing so better be safe than sorry. well, that's for the new clothes.

shoes were even worse. i will be wearing it non stop, click-clacking through the day. i will be slipping in and out of the bedroom just to open my shoebox and wear it again. and you guessed it right. it almost became worn by the first eid-ul-fitr. well, there's so much a young child can do during her free time in ramadhan.

and the pattern has made little change during the course of several years. at least until i hit 1-2.

then i got my first handbag. oke yg ini sgt hopeless. i put it on and well...put it under my pillow. it was blue in colour and i remember falling in love with it (at least until the first week of raya) and i decided to hide it just in case someone wants it. yeah yeah typical authoritative and domineering me. one of the first things i do every morning was just to feel if it was there. most of the time i will be frantic because it will be placed at the far end of the pillow.

but now, the excitement for me has died. its replaced with the excitement of dressing others. i no longer see it as a must to have multiple brand new clothes (sbb tau setakat cuci pinggan kat dapur, tak payah la nak buat fesyen show kat situ). instead, i dragged my cousins around beginning the second week of raya to buy things for them and maybe sepasang baju kurung towards the end of ramadhan. because i want them to be happy. for me, eid-ul-fitr is for them. well, unlucky that i can't buy mercun for them BUT i still can compensate it by dressing them up.

guess what? the second week has started. and maybe i should be picking out something for baby imran right? wonder if mom will flip.


'baju die je dah satu lemari. ni nak beli lagi?'

ah. i love driving my emak crazy.