so what?

mari kita lihat situasi ini: 

sudah menjadi tanggungjawab seorang anak untuk menghormati ibu dan bapa. ibu bapa juga bertanggungjawab untuk mendidik anak-anak dengan baik. 

jadi, kalau tanggungjawab berikut sudah dipenuhi kedua-dua pihak, perlukah kedua-duanya dihujani ucapan tahniah yang berbakul-bakul di dalam suratkhabar, TV, radio, twitter, facebook etc? 

my answer: that is complete bollocks. 

begitu juga dengan apa yang dihidangkan oleh kerajaan. sebagai kerajaan, memang perlu mementingkan rakyat. tak kiralah di malaysia, US atau albania. itu memang tanggungjawab anda. kalau pihak pemerintah berjaya tunaikan tanggungjawab, ia tidak perlu diberikan ucapan tahniah. 

now, when you fail to do so, it shows that the government (in any country) has failed. and that cannot be tolerated. after all, what is the use of having a useless government. 

this is just a general comment. no one or no parties should be feeling the heat from this post.

i am lucky enough to be able to spend sme time in Kota Kinabalu (KK). Not just some time, but eight days. Of course, the last day was really staying at the airport due to the delay but still, good holiday.

It was actually done on a whim. My friend called regarding RM 1 Firefly flight ticket to KK in November 2010 and I instantly said yes. Without pretty much think about what would happen, where to get expenses, the attraction there and so on and so forth. Because I had too many experience of properly planned plans that ended up wasted. So this time, just dive in.

And I really cannot tell you, I'm very glad I did that.

There were a lot of walking to do, food to try and there were sightseeing and the islands. Sadly, was not able to do much on the islands but I take that as a sign that I have to go there again *coughs. No, didn't meet anyone over there but I just feel that I have to go there again.

I arrived with scary stories about the place that we stayed in. It was near Filipino Market so there were some worries about our safety. But thank goodness it was ok and alhamdulillah, I touched down unharmed. Just very exhausted (and misses KK tremendously).

there are things that I want to jot down but maybe later. It's getting late.

Land Below the Wind

topi
Originally uploaded by uculer

As I live in Pantai Dalam, it is just fitting that I like beaches.

Ok, lame but you got what I mean. I love snorkelling. I like islands. I like looking at corals in the sea. I know that my English teacher will not be happy seeing my sentence but I don’t really care.

This time, our Topi Kapasitor travels to The Land Below The Wind with me, trying to find some peace of mind. Or rather, discovering things about myself.

When I was younger, I always go on trips into the jungle. Well, not university days but more during school days. I thought I love forests but a recent trip to the canopy walkway in Poring hot springs proved otherwise.

I do like the idea of walking in a forest which is clean, dry, no leeches, being guarded and have no animals. Yes, a Utopian forest.

This time around, I’m very sure that I love snorkelling. Maybe if I have the guts (and money), I’d go for diving.

The picture was taken in Mamutik Island (correct me if I’m wrong) when I went snorkelling. We went to three island including Manukan (Tunku Abdul Rahman Park) and Sapi Island. I have to admit, the sole reason for snorkelling is to look for clown fish (Nemo). If you are in Kota Kinabalu and you want to see Nemo (like me), I strongly suggest you to go to Sapi Island. Just skip the other two and head there. In Mamutik. It is difficult to find any corals or anemone because the beach is pretty shallow. Manukan is too commercialised so I strongly suggest you pack your lunch and eat on the beach instead. Ice-cream cone costs RM5, double the usual price.

The moment I arrived at Sapi Island, I was already highly disappointed. I was not expecting anything, to be honest. The water was clear alright but I was prepared to experience what happened in Manukan, to accept that the water is just so-so. There was a sudden drop sign (which is really sudden drop, beware). But we were very lucky, we met a guide in Manukan who decided to show me where the corals are. Of course I jumped at the opportunity.

It was better than all three islands put together but here’s a tip; swim to the expert side for the treat. I was too tired by then so I can only see some of the corals.

I didn’t get the chance to go to Sipadan Island. I hope I will be able to do so soon since I’m suffering from Snorkelling-deficiency Syndrome now.

So, there you go. Anyone interested in snorkelling?

Bujang lapuk

Sampai sekarang, kalau aku tonton bujang lapuk, aku masih rasa ianya terkesan. Lawaknya mungkin sedikit kasar (tp itu sudah jadi budaya mereka bertiga).
Apa yang aku paling suka adalah bila mereka ke studio jalan ampas waktu nk minta kerja. Yang paling aku terasa sekali bila benggali jaga tu sound derang 'Takde bahasa'. Nak panggil org ' hoi hoi. Apa saya ini kayu ke, batu ke?'. Pedas tu.
Lps tu p ramlee sound 'bahasa menunjukkan bangsa. Kau tu meludah lagi'. Ouch Weih!
Tak habis lagi, bila jaga tu pulak sound bila ada org ckp 'muka mcm tu nak Jd bintang filem?'.
'Mcm mana bangsa awak nak maju? Rezeki dia, dia mkn. Rezeki awak, awak mkn'.

Aku tak sure filem seniman bujang lapuk ni buat thn bila, tapi die punya sindiran tu masih terasa. Zas!

Gigih betul smpi menaip dekat telefon. See? Die hard fan p ramlee :P

Benda ghaib

Benda ghaib

Ada beza antara percaya benda ghaib dengan takut benda ghaib. Besar bezanya.

But nevermind that.

I have astigmatism on top of my 4 eyes. It brings a lot of difficulty.

Pertama; belanja buat cermin mata akan menjadi lebih tinggi.

Kedua; memang mesti hati-hati kalau nak tengok komputer. Silap haribulan memang boleh muntah-muntah.

Itulah yang berlaku semalam. Maka, mesti kurangkan tengok TV dan komputer.

p/s: saya tengok skrin ini pun dengan cermin mata hitam.

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hobi orang bosan

Red rabbit
Originally uploaded by uculer

kadang-kadang, perlu mencipta permainan sendiri. kalau tidak, memang bosan.

jadi, ini sudah jadi hobi baru. melawat pusat membeli-belah untuk memerhatikan hiasan musim perayaan. arnab merah yang nampak panas ini (macam kene salai) ini terdapat di fahrenheit, bersebelahan pavilion.

letih dah aku gelak tengok arnab-arnab ni.

hurm lupa pulak nak pegi tangkap gambar arnab dekat pavilion tadi

The day i discovered something about me

I believe that we will always learn things about ourselves. We think we may know our own self but maybe that is not the case.

Take for an example what happened to me in 2007, during my four-month part time job with a customer call center in Cyberjaya with an overseas budget airline. Picking up calls, take feedback (read: complaints), make bookings and check lost bookings and stuff.

Now, now, I regard people having to talk directly to customers as very strong people because seriously, it takes a lot to be sitting on that chair for long hours where each call can be anything. Maybe it's someone who wants to praise you or just ask a question; it can be anything. On my part, I was always lucky enough to have people ask questions and make bookings.

However, little that I know, a day arrived where I would be learning who I truly am. It was on a weekday and I went live for a few hours only. The short few hours that I don't plan on having it crawl slowly but instead, dash like a road runner. But calls were pouring in at an OK-pace, no complaints.

I remember picking up a call from this lady who sounded exasperated. The moment that I picked up the call, she was already in tears. She was having difficulty putting two words together, mentioning something about tickets.

' I [] made a [] booking. Wrong…esss,' the blanks are for you to insert sniffing.

Apparently, she was crying because she made the wrong booking and paid for the tickets without thoroughly checking at the booking. So, she ended up paying SGD 500++ on a totally wrong date and was asking whether I can help her.

You see, being a customer representative sometimes demand us to 'play' with emotions. Be nice but just so. Show empathy but make it clear that there is nothing that you do. Sadly, I had to assume the role of the latter.

I made her repeat the question and she did so, difficult but she did so slowly. At the same time, she was sniffing but appear to be more in a control.

The thing happened in just a few minutes and I felt it was ok. Well, I thought so too because the next thing I know, the table surface was wet and so were my cheeks.

And that was the day that I discovered, I automatically cry whenever anybody cries. Albeit the fact that we are only talking on the phone.

So, discovered something about yourself that startles you?

kawan on-call

well, bukan doktor je ada on-call ni oke. kawan pun ada. tapi die mcm lagi sakit hari kalau kena sebab at least dr ade gaji. kawan on-call ada? nan ado!

tak paham? ala senang je. bila contoh A kawan baik dengan B dan konon-konon kawan baik dengan C. bila B tade, A cari C. bila A tade, B cari C. kalau A dengan B ada, C sudah habis syif. dia sudah tak diperlukan lagi.

pernah dgr situasi ni?

walaupun kita rasa perkara ini berlaku waktu sekolah je, tapi sebenarnya ia tetap berlaku sekalipun sudah dewasa. tak kesah la masa universiti ke atau kerja.

kadang-kadang kalau kena, mcm tak kesah sgt sbb kita ada buku ataupun muzk. tapi kalau takde?

nampak mcm masalah kecil tp beb, manusia ni dia tak kira usia, die tetap ada perasaan. kalau nak kawan, nak borak, buat je la mcm manusia biasa. as in, cuba ada komunikasi. bukan waktu kau sedih je kau cari  kawan, iaitu enam bulan kemudian. atau masa bos kau marah kau. atau masa org yg kau mengorat tanak layan. ataupun naan cheese tak sampai.

orang lain pun ada masalah juga. nak juga tempat mengadu kadang-kadang. orang kalau nampak tak kisah pun boleh jadi kisah kalau dilayan macam kawan on-call.

hurm, marilah kita membaca kisah terry pratchett pula.

p/s: iPad, iPod, iPhone users, take a look at Calendar 2011

Musim

Winter in KL
Originally uploaded by uculer

malaysia memang ada banyak musim. salah satu drpdnya, musim demam.

untungnya duduk rumah kayu adalah kau tak perlu pasang air-cond. malam-malam mesti akan terjaga sekurang-kurangnya dua kali untuk pergi buang air kecil. dia punya sejuk, sampai kene sorokkan muka bawah selimut dan bantal. kalau tak, mmg hidung i akan beku.

hari kamis, dah rasa macam ada kertas pasir gred 2 dalam tekak. untuk beberapa minggu sebelum itu, memang suara aku macam Akon bercakap, lebih-lebih lagi kalau pagi tak minum teh panas.

petang rabu, ada orang buat renovation. lps tu ada bau thinner yg tak thin langsung. yeslah. mmg makin teruk la demam.

letih je minum air panas dari pagi bawak ke petang. hari jumaat, building management tukar filter aircond. aku mmg tak tahan la kalau derang baru tukar. memang pakai sweater sekali la.

dalam gambar ini saya memakai sweater dan pashmina sekali. tudung tu pun dah mcm pashmina juga. untuk tutup dahi dan ubun-ubun. sejuk, tak tahan.

dan hari ini, hari ahad, masih lagi bernagas ikut mulut. tolonglah esok jangan demam.

kepada sesiapa yang membaca, jagalah keselamatan eh kesihatan diri anda. marilah kita buat milo panas dan duduk depan TV.

disclaimer: this is my personal opinion. proceed at your own risk.

sesetengah orang menulis blog untuk lepaskan perasaan. well, good for you. from my experience, there are offices and schools full of jocks and biatches who aim to make your lives harder than it already is. i don't deny that. yes, there are working places that is so unbearable, you are just so glad you quit the job, alive.

tapi secara peribadinya, aku rasa jengkel dengan blog yang turut mengutuk ahli keluarga sendiri. kamon, itu ahli keluarga korang. buruk macam mana pun, itu ahli keluarga. kalau dah kutuk ahli keluarga sendiri, tak kesahlah mertua ke biras ke, memang cari nahas.

bila orang-orang macam ni dah mula tulis bende-bende mcm tu yang kononnya menggambarkan bahawa keluarga dia bermasalah, aku sebenarnya rasa, dia yang bermasalah. kenapa yang kau nak letak sangat dekat blog? kalau dah kawen tu, sah-sah umur bukan 15 tahun kan? if you are then you should not be getting married in the first place.

bila kau tulis keaiban keluarga sendiri, maksudnya, kau dah 'bogelkan' diri kau sekalilah. the worst part it, Internet is for everyone. everyone means orang yang kau maksudkan tu pun boleh dapat tau jugak. because you are not exactly a rocket scientist that you can paint the character so well that it becomes so vague that nobody knows.

i had this conversation with a friend and yeah, he revealed that he KNOWS exactly who the blogger is talking about.

let me tell you a little bit about this blogger (this person never comments on this blog so that rules out most of you people). according to this person, everything in the absolute universe is against this person. people are jealous at this person, cannot accept the fact that this person was lucky.

ok honestly, who told this person that they are jealous? what makes this person thinks that way?

i have a lot of experience with these people who talk nothing but absolute negativity of everyone surrounding them. i mean EVERY SINGLE PERSON. i believe clashes with friends are normal and yes, we do write about it once in a while. that is normal. what is not normal when it involves every one. they blog with absolute detail, it is almost like painting a picture.

what did i find out? sebenarnya, takde pun orang buat mcm tu kat diaorg. it isn't as bad as they wrote it on the blog. even some events did not take place; sekadar nak cari perhatian pembaca, mengemis komen. kadan-kadang tu, diri sendiri yang kasi lps tu berkira. contoh, kasi aku tumpang kereta lps tu ungkit dalam blog kata aku tak malu buat kereta dia macam sendiri punya. patutlah selalu paranoid, suka cari kesalahan orang. setiap masa, tak berhenti. and on her blog or blogs, you have her words against mine so what can i do? kan?

cth mcm ada sorang hamba Allah ni la. mengaku yang kawan-kawan suka gunakan dia (bukan sorang atau satu group ye. kalau boleh satu fakulti tu). kalau nak kawan, cari dia, tanak belah gitu je. over the years, aku nampak dia yang buat macam tu. bila bosan, cari kawan. taknak, hilang. ada problem,, pandai cari sampai call tgh-tgh mlm. lps tu hilang.

dan aku fikir kami kawan dah lama, so i ask things directly at her. kawan, pada aku, bukan hanya puji kau je. dia tak takut untuk berbincang bende tak best dia rasa dlm hati. unsurprisingly, she turned the table to make herself as a victim. padahal aku dah pelik dah tgk facebook feed die jemput org ke kenduri kawen dia tapi sekelumit pun tak mention apa-apa padahal baru je borak kat YM (ini kalau dia baca, haram lah dia nak mengaku. btw, kalau kau baca, kau janji nak jemput aku hari tu. just in case kau lupa yang obviously yes, kau mmg lupa pun. aku baik sangka aku anggap kau lupa je la). secara jujur, aku tak surelah aku boleh pegi ke tak tapi beradablah sikit, kau boleh msg aku secara private di YM, takkan tak boleh mention langsung? shout dekat wall facebook yang semua orang nampak tu boleh pulak. ouh aku kasi balik 'beradab' kat dia sbb dia suka sgt berkira dgn kawan-kawan dia. again, bkn sorang dua. ha ambik kau sedap ke tak sedap bila orang berkira balik dgn kau.

itu bukan sekali je. banyak kali sebenarnya dia buat mcm tu. aku hanya concerned die buat kat aku je. kalau die nak buat kat org lain, sukehatilah.

eh sebenarnya point nak cakap adalah penulis tu yang kadang-kadang paranoid, perasan yang bukan-bukan. padahal, get this, people don't care about you pun. serius. until you called someone up or msg them.

we are not exactly 22, 16, 29 or whatnot. yg aku tulis kat atas tu semua dah kawen. aku nasihat ye, aku kasi nasihat ni percuma je; korang dah nak mula keluarga sendiri. how would you feel if your sons/ daughters do the same thing to you? write unfavourable things on the blog. or people writing lies about your families. seronok tak?

and this is also a reminder to me: apa yang org tulis kat blog tu tak semestinya btol. especially random blogs yang kononnya fun tapi sebenarnya in real life, tade pun sbrnya. kamon, kau CEO ke sampai ramai gila org dr byk-byk department, byk-byk tingkat nak tanya-tanya kau 'nak quit ke?'. get real, puhlezzz.

kalau yang dicari itu tidak pernah berjumpa
nah, itu cerita yang sudah biasa.

tetapi kalau yang tidak dicari itu tetap ada
tetapi sudah cukup elok
mengapa harus dipersoalkan yang tiada?
mengapa tidak dibuka sahaja mata seluas-luasnya?

kerana jam tidak akan berhenti berputar dengan sedikit laungan jiwa kacau
atau dunia meraikan kesuraman wajahmu yang menjemput titis air masin ke kolam mata malam ini
dan tidaklah matahari itu melancarkan tunjuk perasaan, tidak mahu muncul kerana hatimu menerima tetamu bernama 'Duka'.

kau catitlah dalam diarimu hari ini
' Betapa hari ini rindu merenggut kejam jantungku'
' Hingga hela nafas jadi tidak keruan'
aku bersyukur kerana hari ini,
aku sudah kenal erti kawan
atau sekadar ambil kesempatan.

p/s: tenang aja syud :)

Girls, would it be really worth it to be insulted by a guy who knows us for about 3 years when our fathers; who have known us all our lives, never insulted us?

Or we can always use the excuse: AT LEAST I have a boyfriend or a husband?
Will it do to accept whole-heartedly the insult rained on our families by this person who may not even be a husband?

Just because: AT LEAST I have a boyfriend.
If you are like me, still have a mother while some are lucky enough to have both parents, I have a question.
Is it really worth it to be willingly caring for someone who is already suffering from an incurable disease when one day, we know that our mothers and fathers will be sick because of old age and we'd better take care of them instead? I’m not talking about when we have gotten married to the guys but still getting to know him? I mean, kalau dah kahwin tu ‘Tahan je’ lah kan?

(p/s: this is not meant to be insulting, just a question).
Is it really worth it to drop everything that you are doing in school or at higher education institutions for your girlfriend or boyfriend? Remember, your degree or diploma will be the key to the world. If you are about to answer that Bill Gates can make it although he’s a Stanford College dropout, more questions:.
Gates is a Stanford dropout. Are you even at Stanford? Ask yourself.

There’s only one Bill Gates or Donald Trump. It means it is not easy to become them.
Again, girls, do you think it is worth it to be a punching bag just because: AT LEAST I have a boyfriend or husband?

Or accepting someone who adores you for absolutely nothing but your body ALONE? Btw, that is lust not love.
We need each other, yes, I admit that. I’m not against the idea of marriage but I think before anyone steps into a relationship, there are some questions need to be asked and pondered upon seriously. Violence against women has become a common thing and we blame everyone but seriously, can it be that we are the ones to blame?

Here’s why (taken from Wikipedia):
Enabling
In a negative sense, enabling is also used in the context of problematic behavior, to signify dysfunctional approaches that are intended to help but in fact may perpetuate a problem.[1][2]A common theme of enabling in this latter sense is that third parties take responsibility, blame, or make accommodations for a person's harmful conduct (often with the best of intentions, or from fear or insecurity which inhibits action). The practical effect is that the person themselves does not have to do so, and is shielded from awareness of the harm it may do, and the need or pressure to change. It is a major environmental cause of addiction.[3]
   Let’s open our eyes and look for the warning signs. Be prepared and have faith that the world would continue spinning even if we end up being single, the sun will still shine or no Hollywood’s wind will howl eh silap tu lagu Franz Ferdinand. 

Letop-letop

Secara peribadi, aku kurang gemar dgn sambutan tahun baru. Sebab memng bising yamatz. Kirim salamlah nak tidur dgn tenang. Mesti ada bunyi meletop yang menggugurkan jantung.

Bercakap tentang letop-letop, aku teringat satu peristiwa yang berlaku lebih kurang 10-11 tahun dulu. Ye ye tahulah super lama.

Malam tu bukan malam tahun baru tapi dah nak raya puasa. Masa tu foundation, aku bersyukurlah aku duduk kat hostel tuh. Minggu tu orang dah mula balik rumah tapi saya selalu feeling-feeling kampung di bandar sri begawan (eceh). Jadi, aku masih ada di hostel MMU tanpa sebab yang kukuh dan membuat perkara-perkara yang kadar faedah dia sbnrnya tak tinggi sgt.

Aku mmg bukan berjiwa kental. Selalu juga aku memasuki fasa takut nak pergi bilik air semasa siri 'Kekasihku Seru' itu hari. Cis mmg saikolah cite tu. Tade bunyi-bunyi yang menyeramkan pun boleh menakutkan aku. Huih takut kot tgk orang duduk dalam bilik tidur, sekali bila kamera fokus kat siling, ada menatang tu.

Erm jap refer perenggapan atas. Ouh letop-letop.

Jadi, malam tu bukanlah lewat sgt pun tapi tandas kat tingkat atas-atas tu mmg kurang orang. Aku duduk tingkat 20++. Sumpah rasa perut memulas gila. Bayangkan pls, dahla tengah sakit perut tetapi bergelut dgn perasaan takut. Dem, loser betol. Dahlah lampu terang-benderang masa tu tapi takut jugak. Perasan tak, bila kita takut, masa tu lah kita akan ingat semua cite hantu yang kita pernah dgr. Dah la derang selalu ckp tapak hostel tu tapak kubur ke hape ke. I het btol bila teringat bende gitu.

Tapi, sebab dah tak mampu tahan, aku gagahkan diri juga. Aku ni mmg ada perangai dari sekolah tak mau tgk cermin dlm toilet. Ini lagi satu i het cerita nampak bayang-bayang kat cermin.

(anda sedang makan atau geli dgn cerita-cerit berkaitan perkumuhan? Sila berhenti dr bacaan anda sekarang juga)

Jadi, aku pun larilah masuk tandas. Tapi biasalah, nak cepat, mesti jadi lambat. Masa tu lah rasa nak sembelit padahal dlm bilik tadi bukan main rasa memang dah darurat sgt dah.

Masa tu dah menderita sangat dah. Sekali tu, aku rasa sikit lagi aku nak jatuh dekat you know where lah kan. Ada satu dentuman yang maha dasyat yang buatkan jantung aku hampir luruh.

Peti ais. Siapalah yang bakar mercun. Aku rasa dia bakar dekat hostel lelaki yang mmg dekat gila dgn hostel perempuan (depan hostel ada juga padang kecil ke arah masjid). Bila bunyi dia terkepung gitu, paham-paham je lah dia punya efek mcm mana.

Siot. Terbatal semua hasrat dan niat qadha' hajat aku untuk masa itu. Memang letop-letop itu sungguh kurang sopan.

Btw, letop-letop adalah bunga api.

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