I don't know about you guys but I kind of grew up during the time Freddy Krueger is a famous figure. Not famous like Barney (I hate Barney and so does Mosh) but I really have a fear for him. Maybe like Voldermort in Harry Potter but in real life.

I'm starting to confuse myself so I'm just going to make a summary of it: when I was young, I watched Nightmare on Elm Street. I'm scared of him. It. Freddy. Ok, whatever.

Anyways, you might think that the movie is just going to scare the daylight out of you but I digress. I think there are a few valuable lessons from the movie.

1. One should not sleep in class. To quote from Freddy 'You shouldn't sleep in class, you know' (insert the sound of knives being scratched over the blackboard).

2. This advice is not for those under the age of 12 - wet dream is not always fun you know. Especially when you are swimming in blood.

3. United we stand, divided we fall (right?). This is pretty obvious during the scene when all the parents gang up...hurm... one shall not spoil the story for everyone. Keyword: the parents gang up to do something; sign of them working together.

4. Remember to activate the alarm in your house when you are alone.

5. For those who are about to work in pharmacy/ hospital (points to syud), ignore the person's requests for a certain drug if you do not have the authorization to do so. If it means they will die writhing on the floor, be it. Proceed to arrange and rearrange the drug bottles on the shelves lovingly while victims scream their heads of off on the floor.

6. History puts you to sleep, when we are supposed to be reading it straight from the textbook. See point number 1. Avoid teaching history in the usual, conventional manner. Proceed to teach using pantomines and acting. Plus the dresses and make ups.

See? I told you. Six valuable points to take note from them movie. However, I have to share with you the scariest part in the event. It happened before the movie started.

Well, my friend and I came late to the movie and we had to get to our seats that are very close to the middle on the 2nd last row. Our row is nearly quite full so my friend suggested that we try to get in from the back row, which of course means climbing onto the seat on the front. For those who know me, you'll know that my height will be of a problem to do so However, I tried because my friend managed to. Well, I was having doubts then and I should have known that having doubts while attempting a stunt (I would like to think) is not good. Take for example going on a roller coaster. Err, except I never have been on one, too scared.

Anyways, it was already dark in the cinema and of course, couldn't watch my step. Guess what? I got stuck for a good half minute. Between the seats. It was really a scary situation to be in. Just imagine if I to stumble and roll all the way to the front. Wow, that would teach me for attempting such moves. Should make a note to be more proper and be less boyish.

And the thing that is scarier than Freddy Krueger is I still have the purplish-black-blue-gray with a hint of indigo bruise on me, a good five days after the event. Totally scary. Not even Freddy can beat that.

You Don't Mess With The Zohan

I like Adam Sandler. Either in Click, the Longest Yard or ok..I'm bad at remembering movie titles. And I was totally overjoyed when someone texted 'I have 2 tix for Zohan movie preview on Sunday.'

It was funny as always but honestly I can do with less remarks leading to indecent acts (I can't bear typing this knowing that there are school children here; I can't imagine the parents who brought their kids into the hall last Sunday). It was everywhere and non-stop, to the point of making me sick.

The message was loud and clear; go after your dream, stop fighting, there'll be opportunist here there and everywhere but seriously, it made me gag as most of the time there will be remarks like 'my Pe Pe is not sti**', Bang Booming and stuff. An ex-soldier cutting hair is funny but then offering something else after the haircut was a bit of a turn-off.

I honestly think that they should change the U rating to something like 18-- because it was totally not ok to see a guy and an all woman walking out of a closet with the woman looking clearly dishelved. I feel offended for one reason or another. Maybe I was totally unprepared to see those things on the screen when I walked into a hall that showed U-rating movie.

Luckily it was free tickets. And I made the smart move to go with a female companion. Mon a vis, it will be very embarassing to bring a smaller cousin or a male friend to watch it.

But there were of course hints of disagreement on US intervention into Israeli and Palestine matters. Adam did try to put it into perspective that things happening in the Middle East might not really originate from there but rather being stirred-up by some other party.

And of course, there was a part where Zohan realised who he wanted in the end and the usual matter that 'love conquers it all' (read: puke gag gag puke gag gag puke puke) .

What I enjoyed the most was Rob Scheiner's (The Animal) appearance. God, he was funny. He was Salim, one of the Palestinian who came to America to earn money. I honestly think that the funniest part was when they called Hezbollah... should not type or I'll give it all away.

It started with Zohan being bored with his duty of supposedly fighting terrorist, trying to find peace between Palestine and Israel. He escaped after fighting Phantom (the inspector or the police in Transformers) and heading to New York. And story starts here after he cut his hair on the airplane.. as well as another two dogs namely Scrappy and Coco.

The story obviously was researched very well. The Middle Eastern accent when talking English (not proficient talkers) was shown very clearly in the movie and it amazed me as it reminded me of a few people from the region that I met during university years. And it really depicted the way how they socialise with other people and even how they negotiate with each others. So I can say I like it in terms of effort. Just beware to bring someone older rather than your 11-year old cousin or you will turn beetroot in the face.

My rating: 2 bedak sejuk cap Mak Mah (read: tak tgk pon mak tak kesah)