A fantasy with a pinch of reality. Or the other way round. Whatever.

‘ Are you ok?’ that was the question that she wanted to ask. The question hovered in her head, like some kind of a bile that wanted so much to escape her body. But no, she won’t ask it. And she grimaced when she thought what the answer would be.

Ea was still feeding herself with the food. It was not normal to see her plate looking so pathetic like that; pathetic-looking cabbage and pathetic-amount of rice. There was sadness that lurked behind Ea’s eyes. OK behind the lenses maybe but still, it was there.

Grieving period. She knew about grieving period. It was something she had to go through the previous two years. But she didn’t talk about it. She can’t talk about it because she knows she will be crying and God knows when it will stop. And lately, she found herself crying herself to sleep a little bit too much, thinking that the baby will never see his grandfather. How it pained her so to think that if someday, she has kids, the kids would never know their grandfather. But there’s nothing that she can do. Talking about it wouldn’t help so she tried, ouh how she tried to make everything feels normal again. No, it was not normal.

The watch that her father gave, she kept it like a treasure despite the fact that it was broken. And the necklace, she was heart-broken when it was spoilt. It was one of the few things that connect her to her father. And despite her age, she kept the musical box. It was a present when she was 15.

To say that she didn’t understood Ea may be too much. But they deal with grief in their own special way. She’s not an expert to calm people down but she knew that she will try her best if Ea wants some distraction. They can talk about anything, the new Japanese Prime Minister, the latest absurd fashion or the reality TV show. Although she didn’t watch the reality TV shows, she will do her research.

‘ Eh, berangan?’ Ea asked.

‘ Tak. Nak balik dah?’

And she wished; like she always did; that she will be able to help.