it almost felt like a sickness and addiction mixed in one concoction
and the feelings come in rushes that it became unstoppable and left me bewildered

darn it
life can be fun and thrilling
it also can be near killing

but i thank God for this
because it will eventually make me be stronger
let's keep our hopes high

my throat is papery
due to the ice-blended drink race
i had brain freeze

it was good clean fun
i can't remember the last time i hang out with the younger ones
ok, i know that i do sound like i'm 48 now but in all honesty
it was really good fun

i'm still an insomniac
i hate this
it has nearly been more than two weeks
this shouldn't have happened

ok, i just found out that cousin is going for a camp
kem pengakap
i never thot i had that much influence on them when in true reality
they are greatly influenced
ok, got to behave and no hanky-panky
hihihi

ouh
i'm having stomachache
note to self: must not consume too much ice-cream
and must update comrades on news

talking about being spontaneous
ok it kind of feel nice
having someone to talk to

it was totally accidental
unplanned

but i just want to say thanks
for sharing a totally enjoyable two hours

thanks

I’m utterly, honestly terrified. I’m stuck with my story and I can’t move anywhere. The deadline is approaching and barring its fangs at me. Those yellow fangs dripping with blood. And yet, I have no idea on what I’m supposed to be doing.

And I have no idea what I should be doing on 31 January 2009. Maybe I should seriously be thinking about migrating for real now. I have no idea whether I should be reading a poetry, a story or just roll up into a ball and cry piteously on the stage. And I don’t know where I should seek help from. This is maddening.

There’s this thump! Thump! Near my ribs too. I’m concerned if my heart is just going to leap out of the ribcage. As if something good will happen but I don’t know what.

Peti ais. This is even harder than having to learn Morse code. Maybe I should come up with my own Morse code because I’ve been browsing my blog and I was unable to understand what I wrote in the past entries. What’s the whole point of writing if I was not able to look back and re-live the terrible doom?

I’m like so scared right now. I really cannot think straight. And I cannot concentrate, can’t find inspiration and so on and so forth. This is so difficult I just feel the need of throwing myself out of the window. Except mine has grills so I won’t be able to do it. Woman, you are rambling.

I should stop before it gets worse/ Fini

Let’s face it. I’m :
1. Not the brain of Malaysia, KL or anywhere on the map. I am thus, not a genius. I ask questions.

2. I’m not a mind reader. Mortal-to-mortal, I have the same limited ability like those of an average person. Not a person with Spidey-vision or Superman’s mind reading ability. If I ask a question, it would really honour me if the person can provide an answer. A black-and-white answer will be great. A ‘depends’ and ‘up to you’ will just make me fume and breathe fire.

3. Fine, I learnt that karma is for real. Silent treatment, please fly out of the window. I do not wish to use it again.

4. My idols range from Anthony Bourdain, Bill Bryson and Meg Cabot. Hence, I do sometimes have the tendency to copy their sarcastic remarks, which most of the time surprise me. If I ask whether you feel offended, it will make my day if you give a straight answer. Not ‘depends’.

5. I’m learning that ignorance is not bliss; it’s a recipe for disaster. I’m trying to learn new things and sometimes, I don’t even know me, let alone you. And I do believe that one of the ways to learn about things is through asking.

6. As a human, I sometimes forgot how to behave. Again, the same rule applies. If I ask, please answer me. And I would prefer an explanation that will really help me not to repeat mistakes. Don’t forget that to err is human (to forgive is absolutely divine)

7. I love sensitive people because they have empathy. They help ignorant people like me to notice little tiny, gritty, petty looking matters that can be amended and make someone’s day. It will be even nicer if the person don’t sulk on a … say, monthly or weekly basis. It drives me crazy and I feel somewhat like Ariel Sharon when they sulk. Never mind that Ariel Sharon might not even think he’s bad. I just feel like a bad person.

8. I don’t know how to pujuk others. As a friend nicely puts it, ‘ko pujuk orang macam ayam’.

9. I don’t read between the lines. I don’t even know how. I secretly think that my best friend is my personal secretary for reading the lines thingy. It will take me months, even years to realize what happened or was happening. Although you think I posed a question because I was trying to be cheeky and have just read between the lines; here’s news: I ask because I genuinely do not know what it means. And I’m always up for an explanation because I know things happen for a reason.

10. I communicate through words, understand things through words and analyze things through words. If you don’t supply this medium, don’t expect me to understand you immediately. I’m a bad bad judge of expressions.

my hands are clammy
in the morning
at noon
and Gosh!
they still do

what is this?

i'm having difficulties to sleep at night
and no appetite

what is happening to me?

Marry Me by Carey Marx (book review)
Caution: For those who are really ticklish and will laugh heartily at the mention of the word ‘funny’, please make sure that you have signed up for insurance programme(s) before proceeding to read the book.

The story is about a comedian trying to find a perfect wife in the span of six months. It’s a true story, with the author making himself as the most eligible person in the said during and advertising it during his gigs and also going through online dating sites.
His plan, which was called ‘Marry Me’. comes with a proposal for a book to be written hence the girls he dated knew what they were getting themselves into.
The writer sets off with dates after dates, email after email of potential brides along with other potential brides from his friends as well as girls offering themselves to marry him after his performances. He was in for a journey that he never thought he will enjoy and looked at the insights of people on the topic of dating and marriage. He met nutters, non-nutters, funny-hot-eligible women with dark sense of humour.
Before he knew it, it seems that everybody already labeled him as ‘the lad who wants to get married’. Some appear to be amused, concerned, cynical and some motivated him that he will be able to do it. Girls experienced emotional roller-coaster about what he does and he was also in the danger of losing his social life due to his mission. He was also said to be unethical to be doing so.
The author learnt a few things along the way; that romance is everyone, that he is romantic, what qualities he wants in his wife and learning to be better dressed. He organized a murder date and a party with zombies in a graveyard that were both funny in a creepy and dangerous kind of way. I mean, how many times do you come across a guy who really go all out to arrange a murder date when you saod an adventurous date will be interesting.
The book and proposal changed people’s perspective on marriage. A few of the 100-something girls he dated got engaged and even got married during the mission. People clap him on the back, admiring his work and he married his audience (which is like really funny I nearly barfed by brain out).
Marx included email correspondence he had with the girls (with their permission of course) and really witty and funny ones too.
The book is entertaining to see a guy going on a self-discovery mission at the age of 38 with the knowledge that the mission may or may not be fulfilled.
Did he get married anyways? Well, that was not the most important point in the book but the whole in the story, or the journey through the book was what I enjoyed most.

maybe it's the weather
maybe it's the heat
or it's the whatever that's there
but i'm having fever

not just fever
flu and sore throat in a package

resting at home?
not an option
finished all pending jobs
catch up with all the friends
breakfast
and will go on a meeting during lunch
a bliss?
more than that baybeh

pening off..ta

Well, hi 2009. Yes, I’m slow on the update nevertheless, Happy New Year!

Getting out of my comfort zone. Wow, that will be difficult. Of course, I thought it was not going to be. I thought that I how hard can it be going back to camping, eating cheap stuff and skip the malls? It takes a lot, seriously a lot.

My first test was, avoid the fast food.

For nearly a whole month, I was able to avoid the fast food outlets that serve food rich with trans-fat. Until the fateful day that my cousin bought pizza to celebrate his first paycheck. What do you expect from a true Malaysian? Say no? you must be kidding. Free food are good food. But I managed to eat just half of the slice. Just enough to signal “ Thanks for the treat.” I’m now ready to resume my whole cycle of avoiding the fast food after consuming whole big chunk of burger this morning. If I keep this up, I will resort to wearing raincoats (which is to conceal all the fat around my waist) in no time! What a comforting though (yeah right).

IMHO, I have always thought that it was extremely easy to have access to fast food when in reality it’s too expensive and eats up most of my expenses monthly. What my friend and I are going to do (we believe the word ‘try’ does not exist) is to avoid the fast food outlets, eat at the food court or buy pastry. Not from fancy pastry houses like BreadTalk or the sort. Something more cheaper. See if we can really survive it.

As far as the small trips are concerned, we are looking at some parks at the moment. Of course, we be having picnic there, eating home=made sandwiches and stuff. And my dear friend has perfected the art of making really good garlic bread (yeayness for that).

I think the biggest challenge this week was to refrain from buying any books for myself. I went out a few times to get some revision books for my baby cousin and it took all my strength not to buy the cheap bargain corner book (1 book for RM9) and not to give in to temptation to just buy the French language course. It really takes a lot. Seriously.

I’m embracing another week and this week challenge is to just wish my expanding waist away. I wish I can do that. Ugh. So, have a happy day ahead. I know we all will.

“Start by starting” – Meryl Streep

Alter ego speaks

When the Internet goes off..when the Internet goes off

..Ucu goes crazy (this is Ash, not Ucu). I swear pimples took over her face in less than five minutes. Its like there wa a pimple party on her face or something. I saw one shaped like a carousel on her face. Yeah I know, I am looking for trouble but I just can't help it. Ucu was being pretty acidic the whole of last week. Going home late (as if its new) and going home with a pulsating vein at the side of her head that looks as if its going to explode any second.

That woman, is a serious case of Internet addict.

Her waists increased by a few inches because she can't get on the Internet the whole week. She just keep popping food into her mouth as if its some kind of pop corn, except they are more fattening. And then I can imagine her grumbling of not finding her size. I mean, who the hell wears a size 12/ 14?

Where was I? Ouh yeah. She actually woke up in the morning listening some loud, noisy and crazy kind of song. Apart from her disastrous wardrobe, she has terrible taste for songs too. I mean, Frank Sinatra? Is she like 95 or something? Euw. And she was like really grumpy, huffing and puffing whenever she was not munching. Remember chipmunk? When they have nuts in their cheeks and non-stop munching? That was Ucu last week. All because the Internet was down. She just can't get over it. She carried this slogan 'All food are comfort food' and just give me that Linda Blair look when I said there's more to life and suggested something about cruising the malls. Ouch.

And cracked jokes like 'I feel like throwing my shoes at the ISP' and went off laughing like a hyena with her side kick. OK, its funny but the way they laughed at is was equivalent to an internationally known joke that I do not know off. What's up with the joke anyways? I'm sure its not important or I might have saw it on TV. When I asked her, she said something like 'Having your blonde moment eh?' What is wrong with her? I am blonde so every single moment is a blonde moment. What was she trying to imply?

She even got up as early as 4am to check email on her phone. No wonder she was forever sleepy in the morning. Like, she can actually wake up just to wait for the page to load and stuff. When I asked, she said it was something about Kapasitor being featured for Youth 09. What is this Kapasitor really? That thing really got hold on her. It's like, she can't get away from it. Come on, who waits an email for some event. I'd rather wait for an email from the hot looking guy next door. Not that Ucu realizes however. She's like totally oblivious to that kind of stuff and walks on such a straight line that she doesn't care what happens around her. Not like she need to. I'd bury myself if I have her fashion sense, her song taste and her movie list. Don't get me started on hobbies. She's a bookworm, actually love board games and loves to sleep. I can agree on the latter but definitely not the other two.

And she forces me and reminds me of the Youth 09 almost daily. It's like nearly two weeks away but she just can't get over it saying that it's a way to network and stuff. Miss, I network with those hot looking 30-ish guys with think wallets. I think youths are fun but I'm not into those Foosball, Basketball Challenge, Caged futsal and stuff. Thanks but no thanks. I exercise when I shop only. Maybe if I have the time, I will check it out here.

Ouh I can sense her coming. Better log off the system before she breathes fire. Ciao~

Hi, this is Ash speaking. No, I don't know why I logged onto ucu's id. Seriously, that woman put something on her computer that the first thing I saw when I opened her IE, is this page, kapasitor.net. What do you guys have here? I see like tons of letters. Have I landed on the Planet of Geeks?

OK, never mind that. You see, I have a terrible problem. I was just going to get ucu but she's nowhere to be seen. Must be cracking some intelligent jokes with V. I don't understand what she means by 'Corporate violence' when her colleague was hacking at another male colleague. Like corporate violence? And when I asked her, she stared at me like I'm such a bimbo and said 'How can you be so blonde and survived all this?'. I just don't get her. I'm just blonde and there's no 'so blonde'. That crazy lady.

Where was I? Oh yeah, money issues.

God, I don't know who I should ask favor from. I'm in desperate need for money. Ucu is wearing her horrible shirts again. That woman needs help. And I saw Padini having sales for the whole week and everytime I pulled her to the shop, she just glared and walk ahead. I mean, does she even revamp her wardrobe? She doesn't even wear decent T-shirts. All those plain T-shirts, so boring, dull and so her. Why waste all the sparkle and glamour when we can have it all? Come on, you've got it, you flaunt it.

Dear me, I'm such a chatterbox. I'm just trying to raise money here. I need to get at least the polo shirts that they are selling. Ucu has to get at least two of it. No, maybe just one and I will have three. But point being is, I need her to wear something that is not so T-shirt bundle. She embarasses me. Like hello, I have to refrain from walking 2km away from her. And she complains that she is still single. With her fashion sense, of course she'll be single.

Oh my God, where is this woman? I need her purse. Must be eating lunch. I told her repeatedly that she has to don her love handles, she looks like a walrus walking on her toes already. An almond during lunch is enough and she has to puke all night long.

Back to the subject, I need like a few bucks from you guys, RM2 the most. Have mercy on her, she needs help. Polo shirts for a start will do. Just take this as a charity, Malaysians are kind.

RM2 will do, from each of you guys. Have mercy on her. Maybe you can get her one. She's wearing size 14. can you imagine? 14? And she claims that she wants to wear something that is comfy. She's just fat but she won't admit it. And I wear size 3.

RM2 please. But more will be welcomed.

I recently found out that a friend reads this piece of worthless crap to know what is going on with me. because we happen to have the worst timing when it comes to receiving updates so blog is just another way of communicating.

I still cannot warm up to the idea that I'm the administrator of Kapasitor.net. Everytime I want to ask favor from people, I will hesitate. Takot ok.

Hum, another weird comment on one of my posts. Weirdness rules I think

I received the answer and I was not accepted. well, well, I gave it a first shot and it seems that they are really pretty strict in it. At first, I thought I don't care when then realization hit me and I realized that I actually care. Weird huh?

Somehow I feel shattered inside and I feel pressured to continue it as soon as possible. I don't know why, I just feel that I need to.

Yesterday didn't start quite good. Kene kacau dengan rempit, spoilt my mood. Then, caught totally unprepared, I had to get on the new system6. And I accidentally pressed Ctrl+W when I was doing my work and wheee!!! it closed down. I had to retype again. Adoi. And I was clearly lagging behind. Somehow the stories were quite lengthy and I cannot understand it. Maybe there's something that keeps bugging me that I failed to concentrate. Yah, too much thing to do yet so little time to complete it all. My knitting needs to be completed and I need to get some help to sambung the benang and all. The shawl looks quite hideous right now, standed la orang baru belajar. Budak-budak pon belajar ABC dulu kan? Haha, sounds like me trying to sedapkan hati sendiri.

I seriously was itching to finish it this weeked that I forgot to sew the skull that I completed on my shirt. Shud make a post note or something and stamp it on the wall, maybe.

And today I forgot to bring my tag. Had to pinjam tag from others. I don't really mind that but it will cause serious problem when I need to go back today. Of course, I usually go back at 7 something and by then, the guards will not be there and stuff. I either have to wait for the others to go back (by then I'd be too letih) or go back very very early. The latter option looks pretty good but then it will result in me lagging in my job again. How I wish it is the time for company results. Keep on dreaming you. The fourth quarter hasn't ended yet.

I'm just having quilty-conscious for eating like-I-don't-care for these past few days so been trying to cut food intake. Thus, not eating the food I have in my bag right now. I can feel the double chin and the wobble-wobble near my waist. Darn, I hate this feeling.

I have to stop the bugging question that I have right now. Because I know sooner or later I will have to ask the person but I'm just keen on delaying things. What am I trying to achieve;; I still don't know. I guess I like being in control that I cannot get over the fact that asking and taking the outcome will result in me losing all the total control that I had to have. You power-crazy insatiable mad woman.

The lunch is about to be over in a few minutes. The cakes I brought are nearly finished (I had to bring it to the office because I will end up eating it all the way so I might as well get someone to get fat with me. Cool idea huh?)

To azurin, if you don't mind, I want to listen whatever you want to tell ok? Just don't keep it inside

Sincerely yours,
Deranged, angry, fat woman

Rhino, the hamster. i love Rhino. Rhino kinds of remind me of me. With the bulging cheeks and all. I heart Rhino.

Somewhat like A Truman Show except this is in cartoon offering. Bolt was a dog, rescued by Penny from the pound and later became a TV-star (except he didn't know it then). Everything was going alrite when one day, the production was forced to turn the story around as survey found that viewers were unhappy about the story.

Taunting by two cats finally led the way for Bolt to escape and things became funny from that point on. Bolt discovered he can't stare padlocks into dust, can't do a Super Bark and it bleeds. It was all first experience and finally having to live as a real dog.

Penny longed for Bolt while Bolt was across the country making friends with Mitten and Rhino, learnt how to beg and finally realised that it really a TV star. Bolt wasn't able to rescue Penny as all the past experiences were just a production but in the end,it did actually saved Penny from a fire created by the replacement of Bolt.

The ever-blur pigeons were entertaining and were so lifelike, I was just mesmerized by it. And Rhino couldn't get any cuter. Seriously, I feel like I just want to reach out and hug it. Or squeeze it. Whatever. Grr!

The story is entertaining and my cousins love it, that is the most important point. I still couldn't get used to the idea of wearing an extra glass apart from the one existing on the bridge of my nose. Maybe I should support the call for 3-D display (the one that does not use 3-D glass but then the viewing angle will be limited and the seating will highly depend on an individual. Don't know if they can improve it over time. Btw, I did the topic on stereoscopic displayfor my FYP).

Looking to have a moment of peace with small kids? Try this one. Highly recommendable.

I'm extremely happy today. Despite the fact that I missed the first bus, was nearly late for work as well as having to redo an article because of misinterpretation, I feel happy, blessed.Ouh, and water dripped on my tudung on Monorail, which was driven by a Hamilton-wannabe.

This morning I woke up to a very loud Lagu Raya. Like seriously loud that the moment I opened my eyes, I was like 'Wow, it's raya already?'. You can't blame me, my body just started functioning and the day was cool and what not. I laughed to myself, such funny people putting on the lagu raya (There are people who had their kedai potong ayam in front of my house so it must be the uncle and his kids. Cool huh?).

I remembered today is Isetan's 3-day Members Day Sale! I remember buying RM400 worth of things and paying just RM100++ in May 2008 and the time has come again. What a bargain. Basically slacks and really good ones that you can't get for RM45++ normally. And plus...I'm meeting sha. Nothing beats a good girl-gossip. I can imagine me dragging her to some shop and have hot chocolate. That will be just great huh? It's like an advanced birthday.

And I had fun at work. Yes, you read it right. Fun at the office because I found a Smurf today. A she-smurf. She work white pants and blue top. Too bad since we have been reminiscing about cartoons all week. Check out this conversation with one of my colleagues

L: Why do you have to post this post it on the paper? Can just write with a pencil before coming to ask me about this article.
Me (feigning panic): Omg, I have wasted a tree
L: Yes, you have
Me: And a shocking pink paper
L: Yes, you just did. Now, shocking-pink people will be mad at you. The shocking-pink people, arch enemy of Smurfs.

I'd never thought I'll be having that kind of conversation like that at the office. And he's like 30++. Such fun environment.

And then after lunch, we had this screening of Justin and Beyonce's dancing on the computer screen. Ah bliss. As well as having a Christmas tree in front of the office. Wonder who will give me the present this year.

And I have been smiling all day thinking about certain someone (insert either Jared Padalecki, Josh Hartnett, Alex Kopranos, Matthew Gray Gubler or Damian Kulash Jr here).

I seriously do not know why I write this. I just feel blessed and would love to just focus on the positive things. I feel blessed. What about you?


P/S: I don't know whether to go watch Bolt or not. Afraid it will sold out tomorrow but haven't got time to rush to Pavilion.

it's kind of annoying to be on such shaky ground. i'm still contemplating, pausing to contemplate and continue to contemplate.

why is it so hard? i think it was there but then again, was it there?

i know, i'm having this whole, big, gargantuan fort i build every day. sheesh.. i know i can't see it but it's there.

life is great, never been better. but these few days (not really few, i know for sure it has been for a few weeks), i found myself staring into space. like seriously. i missed my floor a few times in these past week (i hope you are happy reading this elle). i didn't even stop thinking about it. refreshing and looking back for the traces that the person left. which as far as i can see, traceable up to 2005. the power of electric document, i hear you say.

i don't know when this will end. usually i will be penning tons of flowery poem on my bed, in my room, in my baby cousin's room, on the floor...everywhere but i lost the will to do so now. i keep mum and think. seriously thinking. unnerving this is, i haven't been able to find the end to it yet. very frustrating.

it doesn't feel like a phase. darn, is it time to seriously thinking about this? *yawns

OK, first thought I had when I saw the title was 'A parody of You've Got Mail or a movie title of the sort is it?'. But heck, the book was so cheap so I grabbed it as soon as I see it. Thi hi hi. OK fine, this is the first book that i finished from all the books that I bought during the book clearance sale.

Hats off to Donna Andrews, it was really out of the ordinary. Well, the book was published back in 2003 and get this right; the main character is a computer! There's no love involved just the computer trying to save its creator from being depopulated.

Turing Hopper (yes, taken from Alan Turing) was an Artifical interlligence Personality (AIP) In Universal Library. Well, it isn't a library but a corporation providing It services and stuff. Turing responded to people based on their personality so no one can have the same response from Turing and she (the creator called it she) became an adjective. People responded to it like 'I'm doing Tur this afternoon' and the like. Cool huh? It's like having a friend online but instead of having someone behind the screen, we are actually talking to a machine that never sleeps, never bore us and will not be able to be tired of us.

Wait, then it turned. Turing actually became sentient and develop human-like senses. When Zack, it's creator went missing, it actually realised that it was concerned; a feeling so alien to it that it realised 'I'm sentient'. The journey started from there with Turing trying to pry into the UL's secret to find out where is Zack and does Zack's disappearance have anything to do with his friend's death.

Turing had to rely to two humans called Tim Pocinscki and Maude Graham because despite the fact that it can retrieve information around the globe, pulling and prying into information that wasn't even hers, clearing Tim's credit card debt and such, Turing was immobile. A middle-aged Maude helped Turing with its speech-recognition and then came the part when Turing downloaded itself into a robot in search for Zack who Tim found but does not wish to come back to UL. Apparently, he knows that someone or some people are looking for him.

A page-turner, engaging, emebedded with computer terms but undertandable enough for a computer illiterate for me. The plot is catching and it's amazing to see all the AIPs getting and thinking together. A nice change indeed and highly recommendable.

I built a fortress
no, build a fortress
to protect my feelings
to protect from being hurt.

I'm opening a gate
but once I sensed that someone is going to wrech my heart off my chest
throw it on the hot asphalt
and tramp on it
I'll shut it.

I'm ready to accept but I'm so fragile that one shaky statement, will send me scrambling to shut the gate, chase everyone out and stay cold. scary huh?

From My Desk : The Kind of Love That I Want

I remember watching A Lot Like Love, What Happened in Vegas and 27 Dresses and actually wanting to meet a love like those in the movies. It started out from friendship (except A Lot Like Love) and turned out to something special. I actually do hope that I meet that someone from the circle of my friends (ah kantoi). Well, I'm obviously not getting younger and dating? Hurm..

Anyways, this morning, I got hopped on the bus again (like I have done so for the past one year and yeayness! It's my one-year anniversary of working here *throws one thousand zillion confetti) where was I? Ok right. It was a very bumpy journey, you know how it was at 8am. Yes, I do go at work at 8 am, taking my own sweet time, siap bole beli that hot steamy pau for breakfast. And I saw this aged couple. They look pretty similar, which is what people always say, if your features is the same with your partner, InsyaAllah sejuk rumah tangga. Plus minus, they will be around 70 or even more but seriously, they are not frail.

I looked at them and wonder, they look so at ease together, will I be able to create a relationship like that? Without words, they seem to understand each other, just through their body language. And when they went down the bus, that's when I felt as if I was about to cry: the grandmother held the grandfathers' hand to cross the street. She's obviously younger than the grandfather but that aside, I think to myself, can I take care of another person like that? Will I be able to push aside my needs, selfishness to guide this person to cross the roads when the road was so full of people heading for work and the lights were blinking like mad? Will I have the patience of not pulling the other person's hand, to ask him to walk faster? Can I do that? Will I be able to change myself and tolerate that person?

I realize now that's what I want. I want to grow old with the person, not just living and being with him for a mere few years. I want to have backaches, quarrels, difficulties with the person, not just the shiny and beautiful things. I want to go through all the trouble, crossing the road, fall down, pick ourselves up and laughing, I know that what I want.

Crap. I have tears in my eyes.

If I were to call you 'Si Jahat' three or four times daily
Does that mean I love you?

If I were to hide your car keys
Just to see the worried look on your face
Does that mean I love you?

If I were to miscall you three to four times each night
Just to make you mad
Does that mean I love you?

If I were to pretend that I lost your favorite book
Just to spend some time together searching for it
Does that mean I love you?

If you were to remember my favorite food
drink, book, TV shows
Does that show you love me?

If you were to taunt me by saying
"I'm flying!"
"I get to go to Champs-Elysse earlier than you"
Just to annoy me and drive me to near tears
Does that show you love me?

If you were to call me in the wee hours
Just because you want to say
"Hahahaha..you sound so disoriented"
And put down the phone
Does that show you love me?

If I were to get you your favorite CD
And you get me my favorite Roald Dahl series
Does that mean we have a deep understanding of each other?
and most importantly
Does that mean that I love you?
Does that mean you love me?