my feelings are so jumbled up
i don't know what to do
it's like..it's coming coming coming!
i just could not let go when i really actually want to

you know it's not healthy when you keep comparing what you have with someone to the other person
it's not healthy
but what can i do?
i don't know
i feel like shouting at that person's face 'of course you can't have what we have with other people. every single friendship is unique'
maybe that is the very reason why i become more and more emotional
because you are a no-no yet you keep coming back
it's like my number is on your speed dial

and then i hear yu repeat what i said to you 5 months ago
omg
that is like so dejavu and scary because
you are on my 'No-No' list

i don't know
do you really think each and every relationship will be like this?
the moment you refuse to make it more complicated
the other party will be more than happy to make things complicated
saying 'something is holding me back'
something? something?
it doesn't make it any better when you keep saying 'what wee have is bla bla bla'

no, no
that's not okay
omg seriously
was it the drugs that makes me feel like this?