I happen to like T-shirts with lines like ‘Runs with Evil Intentions’, ‘Voted the most Flexible by Your Boyfriend’ and such (but wearing the latter will only be totally, utterly inappropriate). And I happen to find this one shirt with “Don’t even think you got chance”. But there’s a slight problem. Its sleeves are too short so I have to wear it with a cardigan. Urghh.

Nevertheless, nothing suits better than this current situation that I‘m looking at.

“Don’t even think you got chance”. Sometimes we fall into the trap of saying ‘well, she/ he will understand me doing this’, ‘ala member, dah la lame gile kawan. Sure die paham punye’. What we always forgot is the fact that everything has a limit. For some very weird unexplainable reasons, I will always love to refer to Hooke’s Law when it comes to the relationship between stress, tension and flexibility. Like Hooke’s Law, the spring attached to the load will snap when the load added to the spring exceeded the spring’s load limit. Same as patience. Test it too often and be prepared to say goodbye. Not take-care-smooch-smooch-goodbye. More like sile-ke-neraka-sekarang goodbye.

And this I believe, applies to everyone. All of us have our own boiling point. I have to admit, that I can be tolerant to some levels and then it will be “Don’t even think you got chance”. So does everyone. Wait, has anyone tested to annoy Dalai Lama yet?

OK, focus.

Like, you want me to be the one who will listen to your woes? “Don’t even think you got chance”.

Like you feel like calling me whenever you want and expect me to make the right noises when you tell me your stories? “Don’t even think you got chance” (noises here means appropriate reaction. Don’t go running with wrong and funny ideas).

Like when you want to turn things round and return to the days when we were the bestest buddies on the earth? OK fine, peninsular Malaysia? “Don’t even think you got chance”.

Just don’t go asking for reasons why I did this and that because I won’t bother to answer. We would love to pretend we are the victim, we are too nice bla bla bla. Well, please, save the saliva already because if we really do consider someone as our friend, we would tell him or her our good news. Not some lame excuses like ‘you’ll know sooner or later’. Clearly not the brightest thing to say as you spend the whole month or so talking about the person you like and when it comes to the good news, you prefer for them to find out themselves.

Please, this is not a game of ‘I don’t want to tell him or her because she’ll be crushed as she likes me’. Something must be very wrong with our brain if that is the case, especially so when the guy or girl helped you to court someone previously.

And then things get complicated and someone screwed up again and again. No one can be that forgiving. It’s even worse if the person forgive but never forget. Chance of getting back as friends, laugh about the silliest of things? “Don’t even think you got chance”

I met a very old friend at KL monorail. Somehow we fell apart. After foundation year, we didn’t see each other anymore. We lost it all, we somehow just became invisible to each other. I tried looking for her for years. I asked people about her but I found nothing. It’s liked she covered her tracks almost to the very root.

Then I met her last month. She said we’d do breakfast. I was excited but there were so many things on my mind (pau ayam, Jared Padalecki, new sandal, Jared Padalecki, Subway, Jared Padalecki) that I failed to fuel my energy towards contacting her. I gave up on the second try when she didn’t text me back.

And then I saw her again. We didn’t really talk because I was so sleepy that morning and she was busy with her phone. That afternoon, I texted her, actually pleading.

‘ Hey, let’s not be strangers and make up for the lost years. What do you think?”. No reply. It can be either that she was trying to say “Don’t even think you got chance” or she just recently stopped thinking.

I guess we can never make up for the lost years. I believe our friendship was lost with the lost years. Despite the fact that we hung out together almost every single night, tido sebantal, lepak atas bumbung makan oreo and stuff like that. Things do just fade away.

It was sad but what can I do? Being in a relationship; whether its friendship or being in love; we have to admit the fact that it’s like playing a kite. You can have the nicest kite, the one with the best design, the most aerodynamic but if there’s no wind, “Don’t even think you got chance” of flying it.

Same goes with friendships. It’s a two-way thingy. If the feeling is not mutual, it’s best to let go. Yes, I was crestfallen because we were really good friends but I have to accept and respect her decision. She surely has her own reasons. I will always wait for her invitation if she changes her mind.

Well, there you go. My very own “Don’t even think you got chance” moment.