Aplikasi iPad: Pocket Frog

Pada suatu hari yang tenang, saya dikejutkan dengan sapaan seorang rakan sekerja mengenai penternakan katak. Nampaknya, beliau sudah pun berjaya dalam bidang penternakan katak dengan begitu bergaya sekali.

 

Di iPadlah. Takkanlah bela di halaman rumah. Ape ke halnya pulak nak bela katak? Kalau bela lintah di halaman rumah tu, macam logiklah juga.

 

Mempersembahkan, aplikasi Pocket Frog untuk iPad yang saiznya tidak berapa poket (kecil). Tapi sumpah comel gile rasa nak tarik keluar dari iPad dan picit-picit katak-katak tu sampai meletup.

 

Pada permulaanya, saya hanyalah bermain permainan Dizzy Frog di mana katak merah-jalur hitam di dalam applikasi itu akan melompat-lompat dari satu daun ke satu daun lagi sehingga tukang main pun jadi pening. Permainan ini agak membosankan sekalipun anda pasti tertawa ria melihatkan gelagat para pemain setiap kali mereka melompat dan jatuh ke dalam kolam.

 

Berbalik kepada Pocket Frog ini, permainan ini membolehkan kita menternak katak dengan begitu pesat sekali, menghasilkan variasi katak yang pelbagai. Terdapat pelbagai jenis katak di dalam permainan ini di mana anda perlulah membela katak yang biasa jumpa, dikacukkan dengan katak-katak yang jarang dijumpai untuk menghasilkan katak-katak yang mempunyai rupa paras yang aduhai sungguh la comel rasa nak lempang-lempang.

 

Permainan dimulakan di mana anda akan mendapat katak-katak yang biasa dijumpai. Anda perlulah memberikan katak-katak ini pemakanan yang cukup supaya ia boleh mencapai kematangan lalu..ehem…menjalani proses persenyawaan. Semasa anda melompat-lompat di atas daun-daun di dalam kolam tersebut, anda juga akan menjumpai pelbagai jenis hadiah. Kadang-kadang, anda akan mendapat jenis katak yang baru ataupun background untuk taman anda. Hadiah tersebut dibalut dengan kertas hadiah yang sungguh cantik tapi tak la macam kotak hantara. Melampau la tu.

 

Jika anda ingin berniaga dengan menjualkan katak-katak anda, anda mestilah memastikan bahawa haiwan ternakan anda gembira (boleh dilakukan dengan meletakkan perhiasan pelbagai. Boleh didapati daripada FrogShop di dalam aplikasi yang sama). Katak yang tidak berapa gembira, harganya adalah lebih rendah. Sebagai alternatif ataupun kalau anda sayang sangat coins dalam game sampai tak mahu beli toys untuk haiwan ternakan anda (read: kedekut), tidak mengapa. Cuma perlu beri mereka makan dengan melompat-lompat di dalam kolam.

 

Anda boleh memilih samada untuk bermain secara online ataupun online. Di sebabkan iPad saya adalah yang basic punya (T_T) maka saya memilih (terpaksa) bermain secara solo. Walaubagaimanapun, anda boleh menghadiahkan katak-katak anda (yang anda dah menyampah ataupun tak muat dalam kandang sebab anda hanya boleh ada 50 katak sahaja dalam satu masa) jika anda bermain secara online. Anda boleh memberikan rakan anda hadiah-hadiah yang lain juga.

 

Kenapa saya suka game ini: Sebab ia comel. Itu sahaja. Tolong jangan persoalkan pilihan saya. Please

Kenapa saya tak berapa berkenan dengan game ini: 50 je? Kamonnnnnnnnn

Rumusan: Saya suka main game ini sebab katak-kataknya berwarna-warni. Saha nak tengok warna-warni melompat-lompat di iPad

Handling Telemarketers

We understand that telemarketers have job to do. We really do. But sometimes, we are in a midst of a very important meeting or we really do not need the third health insurance. However, you have already picked up the phone although it shows random number. It is not your fault since you thought another customer (you own a successful blogshop-let's pretend). So, how to deal with telemarketers?

 

Here's a guide to all of us:

 

1.        Lie

' I need to go to the toilet. For Number 2'

' The offer is on 30^th September 2010? Oh man, I can't make it. Flying overseas to further studies' (They do not have to know that you are an undergraduate in Melaka)

' I'm busy on that date.' (Sometimes they offer vacation and stuff)

 

2.        Pretend to be really busy. Put the mouthpiece as close as possible to the keyboard and types furiously. Insert hesitant pauses here and there for maximum result.

3.        Failing to do point number 2, keep asking them to repeat the information.

4.        ' If you can't beat them, be them'. Example:

' Hi Miss Lee, my name is Shamsul from Etiqa. We are now offering…'

*gasps dramatically and proceed to say ' Shamsul, what a coincidence! I've just started in Etiqa, Jalan Ipoh branch'

5. Breathe loudly into the mouthpiece.

6. Say nothing. Nothing at all. They will wonder what happened to you.

 

I hope my friend will benefit on this. And those with more tips, feel free to share.

 

kemusykilan

sekarang

masih ada lagi org berkenalan dgn ayat ini?

a/s/l?

what spoils a ghost story on TV?

when one of the audience farts

One Thing We Should Not Do During Hari Raya

I believe that everyone is still having a good time with rendang lemang ketupat bla bla bla. You lucky people. I have been stuck at home, seeing that I don't have any kampong. Lucky that I managed to get out of the house just now, just a few hours to the office. See? This is the very reason I cannot take time off too long from work.

 

We live in an era where we live two lives; the real world and cyberworld. It is hard to just live in one world. I keep in touch with my family through Twitter or blog or Facebook. People have start sending cards and wishes through Facebook or email. Wedding invitations even. I admit it is easier to keep tab on who you have sent the invitations to and stuff. I look for recipes online, apart from gossips (yes, I do that once in a while. I'm human too), winner of America's Next Top Model (dang it. I accidentally got hooked on the show), search for the best deals for my holidays and stuff.

 

See? The Internet is a powerful tool.

 

I can tolerate people who constantly looking at their handphones to check and reply for Twitters or even SMSes. I have no problem with people who just have to upload their pictures on Facebook instantly using their BlackBerrys.

 

But, don't you think visiting peoples' houses with laptops and broadband have gone a bit too far? Look, that defies the whole purpose of visiting people during Hari Raya. I'm talking about yearly visits, not even monthly. If you really cannot do it, refrain from going out of your house. People do not need to see you sitting in their living rooms with your laptops or notebooks, pretending that you are way too busy when actually you are just updating your Facebook.

 

Don't get me wrong. I have Facebook account too but there's time and place for everything.

 

Here's a solution for people who really cannot resist being far away from the cyberworld while visiting people during hari raya.

1. Get a smartphone.
2. Don't bother going out for raya at all.
3. Remind your cousins beforehand that you need computers and the like.

 

Seriously, I'm pretty pissed. Why do you even need to come to our house if you'd rather go online? Might as well organise an open house on your Facebook. 

permintaan

ingat tak dulu masa kita sekolah, kita selalu takut kalau cikgu tak kasi pergi tandas? 

okelah. mungkin cuma aku seorang tetapi aku masih ingat dgn jelas betapa terpaksa tahan sekalipun rasa nak terkucil sangat dah. kalau cikgu cakap tak boleh, sumpah rasa nak nangis. 

tadi, masa kelas (oke fine tiada life maka mengajar pada hari kedua eid-ul fitr) anak murid tanya: boleh saya pergi tandas? 

sumpah comellah budak  ini bertanya begini. 

sudah lama aku tunggu peluang ini, sudah lama benar. sudah lama. 

oke. cukuplah itu. 

kalau boleh, aku nak halang dia. tapi saya sedar diri, itu rumah dia. 

:(

drama before raya

 

 

I awoke to the sound of screaming from the kitchen. Dang it! I woke up late again. Of course, it being a holiday, of course I'd be having private conversation with my blanket and pillows. Alas, I had to be woken up with an in-built alarm clock in the house. My granny.

 

The day started (after sahur, I slept again) with us having to rush to cook rendang. It was a frenzy, having two commanders. One was screaming for us to start frying the onions while another one asking to get the coconut milk in the freezer. There will be another adviser asking one of us to head to nearby shop to get cucumber. The thing was, when my brother called from the store, he was told to come back. We apparently do not need cucumber.

 

10 minutes before that, he was told to head to the wet market for cucumbers.

 

See? Confusion. An extremely common scene one day before hari raya. One wants the chicken to be fired just slightly while another voice wants it to be golden. At the end of the session, I delivered golden fried chicken while another batch was slightly paler. Win-win situation.

Our auntie turns into an entrepreneur during ramadhan. God knows how many thousands of kuih sampan she had to make. And today is no exception. In the midst of preparing rendang and ketupat, changing cushion covers and mopping the floor (on my knees. We'll get to that later) she managed to bake some more of the kuih sampan. Actually not some, more like a few thousand until night time.

 

So, we, about at least five people, scramble around the house trying to make the house look liveable. What with the cakes and kuihs and other stuff, it is easy to lose a baby in the house, discovering the baby a good two days after that. No, not really exaggerating.

 

The day progressed slowly, moving seamlessly from rendang to kuih sampan to twitter to break fast meal. There will be confusions (eh ini langsir bilik siapa?) and screaming (pegi kemas atas!) . Sometimes, there will be more extreme instructions (hoi! Sudah-sudahla mengadap komputer tu!). Tempers flare, of course, especially when someone alleged that I did not do anything to the hall. I proceeded to sweep the floor and attack the linoleum armed with wash cloth and soap, on my knees. That is to show that I can tackle this better than using a mop. And I really am happy with the end result. Nice apple smell in the hall.

 

By nearly 6pm, it is hard to keep a straight posture while sitting. It is easier to be sitting with the head rolling and saliva trickling from the corner of my mouth. But, at the mention of iced soya bean, energy returned to my body. Yes!

 

We thought the drama is over for the day. I mean, everything is set. The cake has been cut, plates have been scrubbed clean and dried, glasses set out, ready to be served. But nooooooooo. We are in for another surprise, which I fully expected anyway.

 

My granny wanted a cake. Last year, she hated my chocolate indulgence with a vengeance. So, it never occurred to me to get another cake.

 

Since she hinted that she wanted the cake pronto, we went for a cake hunt at 8pm. Of course, it never occurred that there is a cake shop near our house. Instead, we went to Bangsar. Getting lost in Jalan Telawi is not fun, I tell you, especially when I think of the kuah kacang and rendang at home.

 

As a reward, we got blended coffee. We need it dearly. The frenzy and drama is too much for us.

Ah, the comfort from coffee deprivation. I was smiling, feeling really elated.

 

Except that:

 

' kenapa beli kek hari jadi (Baker's Cottage)? Nenek nak kek gulung biasa je'

 

Argh!

selamat hari raya!

SDC14190
Originally uploaded by uculer

selamat hari raya
maaf zahir dan batin
kosong-kosong ya?

kelakar?

oke baiklah aku mengakulah kadang-kadang aku hanya limitkan lawak aku kpd tidak mempersendakan agama. sbb aku rasa kadang-kadang kita ni tak perlulah serius sgt? sbb tadi aku baru nampak di blog seseorang, ade org meronta-ronta mengamuk pasal freemason. katanya, jgn buat lawak ttg freemason (sbb kawan saya die attach kaitan lemang dan freemason. IMHO it is funny) 

eh? sorry, jgn buat lawak ttg freemason? i didn't get that. 

aku skeptik sebenarnya. bukanlah skeptik tak percaya. aku rasa bende tu ade kot (mind me, this is my blog and save your breathe from telling me everything about freemason in this comment box. kindly write your own entry in your own blog). skeptik aku di sini adalah: oke. kau kata freemason ini bahaya. baik, aku terima. sekarang, boleh aku tau apa cadangan kau utk menghapuskan atau mengekang kegiatan ini? 

beb, setakat tulis kat blog pung-pang-pung-pang, aku rasa baik kau buat dream diary. sbb bagi akulah, apa yang menyebabkan kita ponteng puasa, bukan sebab ada makanan depan mata (contoh bertemakan ramadhan, sekian). kita ponteng puasa sbb kita masih ada isu dgn iman kita. 

kita selalu menghalang tetapi apa usaha kita sebagai alternatif. kita kata starbucks membantu israel tapi adakah umat islam sendiri berusaha untuk mencipta sesuatu yang sama rasa dengan starbucks. ada? alasan: tak cukup duitlah, tade sokongan lah bla bla bla. kalau niat kau ikhlas kerana Tuhan, aku pasti kau akan buat. susah mcm mana pun, kau akan cuba, 

kita pandai mengekang. menyediakan pilihan tak tau. 

lagi satu, tolonglah jgn buat malu orang beragama islam. islam tak suruh kau slam mana-mana agama. sedangkan ada ayat dlm Surah Alkafirun, ayat 6 yang bermaksud: To you be your way, and to me mine (bagimu agamu dan bagiku, agamaku)

bukanlah aku suruh kau sembah Tuhan mereka.hormat tau tak hormat? lebih kurang mcm kau nak orang hormat agama kau lah. susah sgt ke?

perangai 'holier than thou' ni yang aku paling menyampah. lebih-lebih lagi bila rokok terjuntai di bibir. tade agama dlm dunia ni suruh rosakkan badan sendiri. reti?

' Apa yang ada dalam beg ni?'

' Apa yang ada dalam beg ni?'

' Berat betul!' kata nenek.

' Err barang?' aku jawab dengan nada takut-takut. Silap jawab, mau kene marah secara pukal. Habis kerja jam 3 petang, ini sudah malam baru ingat rumah.

' Macam ada bom,' tambah nenek lagi.

Hamboih. Kalau kita ada kat lapangan terbang ni, tak mengajarlah aku esok. Ataupun manalah tau, murid aku nak melawat aku di penjara.

Melampaulah kata ada bom. Ada payung, dompet, kertas, gunting, lens case, lens cleaner, bekas spek, eyeliner dan duit syiling sahaja. Ouh tablet juga perlu. Kalau tidak bakal sangap semasa membuat kerja.

Tapikan, soalan nenek ini sungguh sesuatu. Dia pernah bawa bom ke? Macam tau je bom tu berat mana.

Ok mungkin bukan bom tapi kuih bom.

Sent from my iPad

Eyewitness: After the floods in Pakistan

Ini sangat menyedihkan. Cemana kalau imran ngan addin mcm ni?

I saw this Guardian Eyewitness photo and thought you should see it: http://gu.com/p/2jc86/iw

Get the Guardian Eyewitness app for iPad for free by visiting http://www.guardian.co.uk/ipad

Sent from my iPad

I Wonder How My Friends Actually Tackle MCQ Questions

Well, multiple choice questions or in short, MCQ. Ah the legendary ways to answer multiple choice questions:

1. Close your eyes and just jab your pencil.
2. Recite Al-Fatihah to get the right answer (it will always be C. I wonder why)
3. Some of my friends have these square erasers where they write A-D on each side. Anytime they have no idea what they should answer on the OMR, they will flip the eraser.

But, what if its not part of the exam paper?

Take for an example here. A want a new laptop. Being a caring and pretty kepochi kind of a friend, I asked A when he will be getting a MacBook Air.

A then replied;

‘ I would have to wait until this current laptop is spoilt’

Of course, being the very helpful friend, I offered to do A the favour:

‘ You want it to be spoilt? I’m more than happy to help you with that. Brick, hammer or shoes? You pick’

A replied: How about money? A guni of money of about RM 2k will do the trick just fine’

See? SEE? I wonder how A made it in school. I mean, imagine the teacher asking ‘What is an amoeba?’

A)    an animal

B)    my neighbour’s pet

C)    the scientific name of a butterfly

D)    a chant people say while doing yoga.

(OK I just made this one up so don’t judge me)

(But I know you are judging so here goes another one)

Mohenjo-Daro is

A)    A city

B)    A stationery brand

C)    The first married couple who decided to keep their names instead of changing it, thus the hyphen

D)    None of the above

So, what does he answer if he gets this type of question? Does he scribble

E)     A place that now exists in textbook only?

I wonder if he actually did that. I don’t think so. My best guess is he’ll just circle whatever he thinks is correct or remotely familiar or even leave it blank. And that I the very thing I expect him to do when it comes to my question. Just take a pick on the answers. Not offer another alternative. Stick to the rules, people.

Ah there goes. A totally pointless entry, just to make up for the hiatus.

P/S: It’s not as if I didn’t create a whole new answer for a question. I do that regularly too :P

mari kita renungkan

pada zaman nabi dahulu, pernah seorang kafir quraisy kencing di dalam masjid. bukan disuruh bunuh, tetapi baginda biarkan habis dahulu (padahal sahabat-sahabat dah ramai yang naik darah). selepas itu, diajarkan cara untuk membersihkan kencing tersebut. 

cuba renungkan kenapa. kalau baginda halau kafir quraisy itu semasa dia sedang setelkan bisnes, tak ke semakin kotor mesjid? kita biarkan dulu kemudian tangani dengan bijak. 

pope benedict pernah melawat masjid-masjid di turki dan jordan. 

1. Pope Benedict XVI visits the King Hussein bin Talal Mosque in Amman, Jordan

2. Pope Visits Dome of The Rock Mosque

islam itu mudah, sentiasa memudahkan. islam itu sendiri berirama dengan salam yang bermaksud selamat. adekah sesuatu yang membawa maksud selamat itu akan menggalakan separation di antara agama (oke saya tau saya mengajar bahasa melayu tapi ni mana sempat nak susun ayat baik-baik punya lagi 3 minit nak tido), adakah sesuatu yg sentiasa mendoakan orang kesejahteraan mereka mengajar untuk menghalau orang lain, makhluk Tuhan? 

quran itu, perkembangannya seiring dengan zaman, tidak jumud. bukankah orang-orang yang membacanya pun sepatutnya tidak jumud juga? 

kempen menghentam malaysia di indonesia?

tak payah ckp panjang la. 

ini mesej buat orang yang baling tahi kat bendera malaysia:

sedara, Tuhan dah kasi nikmat jadi manusia. jangan la nak jadi monyet pulak. terima kasih. 

kite ni byk sgt masa ke?

1. merengsa sikit ngan orang, buat page hate hate orang. 

2. nampak orang update status FB yang macam ala-ala hidung tinggi mcm famous amos itu hari, sanggup habiskan satu hari tulis entry pasal kutuk die balik. i wonder, apekah faedahnya dalam bentuk yang tangible? 

pegi belajar perbualan dlm pelbagai bahasa pun bagus juga kot la la la 

kenapa aku susah-susah sgt tulis entri mcm ni? sbb aku sedih. bangsa kita masih la ditakat itu. bangsa lain tade masa sgt nak amek tau benda-benda mcm ni. byk lagi benda yang dia boleh buat seperti buat mystery shopper ke, buat part-time job ke (ni bukan log in log out facebook punya), mengajar kepada jiran tetangga ke atau pergi sambung masters. 

itu blom lagi part tag-mentag ni (curi idea dari blog ben). kadang-kadang tu aku balik rumah, on pc, mcm excited gile tgk kaler merah di page facebook aku. ingatkan adelah orang nak share tips lobang mana nak anta karya aku ke (eceh) sekali tgk gamba tudung. kau ni dah la kau tak pernah tegur aku, tah anak sapa tah ha kan dah kena delete. 

syud, kalau anda baca ini, saya tak kisah awak nak tag saya kat kuih raya sbb awak selalu borak ngan saya. ye, saya memang bias pun kat kawan-kawan saya. 

pada aku, facebook ni kalau digunakan cara betol, senang kita nak keep up dgn kawan-kawan. tapi kadang-kadang kita yang taksub sgt. 

ah sudah. jangan aku ni jadi mcm rais yatim itu hari sudah!

muntah bayi 2

imran sudah ada adik. dia sudahpun setahun. dia tidak boleh dikira
bayi lagi kerana dia sudah boleh berlari-lari seperti usain blot yang
kecil. sungguh pantas berlari dan sungguh panjang akal kalau nak
mintak dukung.

tetapi dia masih minum susu dan tidak boleh cakap lagi. jadi,
makciknya ini pun masih belum pasti jika beliau adalah bayi lagi atau
tidak.

ahad lepas dia datang bersama harapan eh silap, dengan ibu bapa dan
adik lelaki berpipi labuh. saya pergi mengajar, pulang jam 5. dia
sedang tidur. selepas membuli adik beliau, saya pergi bersiap-siap dan
dia pun bangun. seperti biasa, saya pun angkut la dia ke hulu ke
hilir. tengah elok-elok dukung, dia memuntahkan susu yang tak sampai
lima minit diminumnya.

aih apalah nasib selalu benar kena muntah bayi. imran, kau dah tua
ganyut pun muntah lagi kat aku nasib baik kau comel T_T

tidur petang

ada sebab kenapa orang tak kasi tidur pada waktu petang. sekejap lagi kau bangun terkebil-kebil tak pasti sekarang ni pagi atau malam. tau tak?

penat?

gile kau tak penat keje 7 hari seminggu? beb, sapa tak nak dpt duit tanpa bekerja? semua orang nak tapi malangnya tidak wujudlah keadaan begitu. 

eh kejap. mungkin wujud. mungkin bole log in facebook dan dapat RM 100 hari-hari. bende tu kan berlaku? like...skarang ni mana ade dah orang malaysia ni kerja sebab hari-hari bole dapat seratus tak buat ape-ape. kan?

ha tuuuu dia

nak melawan sangat kan tanak bangun sahur, nasib baik tak lencun laptop kena air masak. siapa ajar teguk air dalam gelak dengan mata sebelah terbuka? 

maka dilanda keinsafan, terus bangun untuk makan nasi, minum air betul-betul. 

ye, saya insaf tak buat lagi T_T

woh

rezeki menebarkan ilmu

semoga Tuhan memberkati usaha ini

Book Review: Sushi for Beginners by Marian Keyes

Disclaimer: This is my personal opinion. Proceed at your own risk. And spoiler ahead. 

I chanced upon this book in Central Market, nearly completing my mission to finish her writings.

 

This time around, it is about three women who felt their lives are crumbling apart. Lisa was a career-oriented woman, always trying outdo everyone, killing everyone's hope and making remarks that degrade others. For so long, she has been eyeing the editor role in Manhattan, only to find herself being flung to Ireland.

 

Then there was Ashling who happened to work in Ireland and tried to get a job in a magazine. She was lucky enough because she was taken by the company which took Lisa. Good luck? Not just yet because she felt that her bosses do not like Miss Fix-It.

 

And then there was Clodagh, Ashling's bestfriend. Despite a loving husband, two kids and no worry for money, Clodagh felt everything was a drab. She tried find a way to spice things up. She tried looking for a job and then turning it down.

 

Lisa was not being nice to Ashling, Ashling tried to treat her right (well, she does that to everyone) and Clodagh end up stealing her bestfriend's boyfriend (again). And what a mess that turned out to be.

 

Lisa's life got sorted, Ashling found someone for her and Clodagh got the mess she asked for.

 

All in all, the book is as funny as other Keyes' writing. The title was for the part when Jack Devine (who don't really like Ashling in the beginning) taught her on how to eat sushi when she found out her good-for-nothing comedian boyfriend was two-timing her.

 

I was particularly interested in Clodagh's ending though. She had an easy life; two extremely cute kids, a loving and good-looking husband, good looks but instead of being grateful, she kept asking for more. Instead of sorting things out with her husband, she decided to have an affair. Of course she was happy for like two minutes before the sky caved in. Her husband left her and even divorced her, cancelled her credit card and really having to struggle for both kids this time and lost Ashling as her bestfriend. It got me into thinking, she could have done something to spruce up her life instead of getting involved with a guy who 'Bellaz-moi'-ed her right?

 

Conclusion: Definitely for light reading (am taking a break from Stephen King's story) and expect to be tickled with Keyes antics. Recommended reading but beware because it is very addictive.

 

P/S: Now reading 'Me and Mr Darcy' from Alexandra Potter. Read Girl Meets Ape from Chris Manby but to mediocre to review. 

berbuka puasa

aku bukan tanak buka puasa di luar. memang nak. lagi-lagi pulak bila kawan baik aku tak lama lagi dah nak keje kat negeri orang. 

tapi harga sepinggan hidangan di luar boleh buat aku tak tidur malam. mana dengan kipas rosak lagi, takut aku tengok sepinggan hidangan sampai RM 24. ala kau puasa, banyak mana sangat kau boleh makan. 

tapi obviously la aku tak boleh samakan keadaan ekonomi aku (financial holocaust di dalam poket) dengan orang lain. sebab aku tengok orang ramai-ramai berpusu-pusu berbuka di luar. aku? bazaar ramadhan pun aku tak pegi. hentah, malas la. sebab kalau aku pergi bazaar ramadhan, mesti aku akan membazir. beli makanan yang aku belum tentu akan tengok pun. 

tahun ini nampaknya, aku lebih selesa makan nasi di rumah. pulang seawal jam 3, dan sampai di rumah jam 4. tak berselera nak berbuka di luar. penuh bukan main, silap-silap bersila atas lantai. 

tapi, bersila di lantai mungkin lebih berprestij daripada bersila kat rumah. bersila kat rumah hari-hari boleh buat. bersila kat lantai kedai makan di KLCC bukan boleh buat selalu. lepas tu boleh bersila dengan pelbagai kaum plak tu. 

itu belum lagi nak bersolat. pendek kata, banyak betul masalah sampai saya jadi banyak sifir nak buka kat luar. saya hanya (eh pakai saya pulak) akan buat exception pada teman-teman rapat sahaja. 

ah sudahlah. merepek apa malam-malam ini. mentang-mentanglah esok cuti. 

my take on 'mengorat'

ape kau ingat cube nak mengorat org mcm subjek ekonomi ke? 

cuba, cuba dan cuba sampai berjaya

sampai dapat A

here's new for you; 

it doesn;t work that way. 

solution? give up. 

disappointed? you have turned me into a chronic cynic, thanks

tandas yang serbaguna

(tajuk di atas mestilah dibaca dengan nada doraemon. ah buat-buat tak tau pulak). 

aku cukup pantang kalau tandas dijadikan tempat untuk merokok. sudahlah menganggu orang lain, tidak reti sivik juga. lantai yang bersih sudah dikotorkan dengan bu-abu rokok. tak cukup dengan itu, boleh pula disimbah-simbah air. kau memang sengaja nak tengok awek cun yang tunggu giliran itu jatuh terduduk kerana kasut vinccinya yang licin kan? 

nasib baik aku tak pakai vincci. kaki aku yang lebar tidak memungkinkan aku memakai kasut yang banyak fesyen sebegitu *selitkan nada iri di sini. 

wow. jauh betul terpesong. kalau memandu, sudah sesat ke kuala besut sekalipun niat sebenar nak ke kuala terengganu. 

baiklah, mari pulang ke perkara pokok. 

semalam hanya dapat tidur 4 jam. ketiadaan kipas siling yang masih dibetulkan membuatkan aku tak senang tidur. tak boleh tidur sebenarnya. terasa seluruh koloni nyamuk mengambil kesempatan untuk menyerang aku. 

sekalipun aku tidak cukup tidur, aku keraskan juga hati untuk berpisah dengan katil dan bantal. kalau sampai ke pejabat jam 7 pagi, boleh pulang jam 3 petang. yey!

jam 7, aku bertahan, jam 8, mengantuk boleh tahan, masuk hampir jam sepuluh, aku cari port untuk tidur. di surau tidak boleh, nanti takut terlajak hingga ke petang. 

tandas di tingkat paling atas aku jadikan tempat untuk melelapkan mata selama 10 minit. boleh siap mimpi lagi. bolehlah, biuat bekal sampai jam 1 sebab selalunya jam 1 tengahari, kantuk aku dah terbang ke toulouse (exaggeration). 

nasib baik syaitonnirrojim diikat di bulan ramadhan. kalau tidak, memang tidur berteman la aku pagi tadi. 

expectations

i have a good few minutes but i wish to have: 

a better year

a fun-filled year

an exciting year

dan tidur yang lebih lena

terima kasih si cantik yang gojes! 

bawak bertenang

tak jatuh pun darjat manusia sebanyak 32% kalau tak makan famous amos

Syud dan Iqa, sile jeles

Ucu dan wan menebeng di KLCC cuci mata

thought of the day

lelaki pakai hensem-hensem sbb nak touch-up perangai hodoh

kenapa

kan..bila kita naik Putra, mesti orang yang tak sekacak Clark Kent, tidaklah begitu bergaya seperti model, tidak membawa briefcase yang akan bangun untuk beri perempuan mengandung duduk? 

aku tak minta banyak

aku cuma minta kau buat=buat tak reti je ape aku cakap. tak perlu ingat yang aku pernah puji kau dengan t-shirt polo. tak perlu ambil pusing pun kalau sebenarnya kita cuma akan statik di sini. 

sekurang-kurangnya, jadi kawan aku. tapi aku rasa kau memang lebih suka jadi orang asing. orang asing yang sangat-sangat asing sampai boleh jadi serupa makhluk asing. 

one thing to do before one gets too old

overnight at the airport
happening april 2011

Disclaimer: This is my personal opinion. Proceed at your own risk

So, Nan is back. This time around, the name is Nan Hutchinson since she married the Harvard Hottie who worked with UN. They have been to a lot of places, living in huts and of course sleep on rented beds. Now, they have come back to New York. And Nan was still haunted by the day she had to leave Grayer 12 years ago. 

Nan was no longer a nanny and has started her own consultation business and looking frantically for clients. And then she was summoned to Jaryndyce where things started to go haywire from there. How lucky it is not to become the generation born with Internet at the tips of our fingers. Imagine the humiliation when people forawrd your embarassing video for everyone to see. Well, we may only have so little technology back then but still, didn't we had fun during our childhood? 

Apparently, it wasn't so for Grayer X who came back looking for Nan in the middle of the night, drunk and speaking incoherently about his parents. About how Mr X has ledt Mrs X and how is he going to try to bring up Stilton, a brother who was just 8. The parent figure never visible in his life. 

IMHO, the first book was really hilarious. At the end, of course, it is heartbreaking but this time, it showed how Nan had grown up but sadly, not her friends. Her friends who were not so nice in school, turned out not to be nice when they become mothers. It was almost heartbreaking to be with the people who don't understand the importance of parenting and taking charge of the kids although you pay tem USD 40k per year. Giving out money just wasn't enough. 

For those who would want to know what happened to Grayer, well, this is it. However, you can expect Nan to be less funny. There are a lot of things in her mind, including starting a family ;). 

P/S: It doesn't seem fair to review 'You are the One I don't want' by Alexandra Potter since my friend hasn't finish it yet

Then The Train Delays

So, the sun is not to bright; just the kind of day that you wish you could have every single day. And you have an hour to arrive to the office.

You were thinking about the assortment of sandwiches that you can grab all the way from KLCC to the footsteps of your building. You may consider spicing it up a bit with the different variety of fillings like chicken, tuna or eggs. Or, you might want to make it a special occasion and thus order something heavy like nasi lemak.

Special occasion indeed. Putra was delayed by about 1 hour something this morning. On the day that I wish to arrive early, I got stuck in the train. Luckily I got a seat in Bangsar.

I was agitated and I tried concentrating on the book that I was reading. But in the middle of the sentences, I would wonder when is the train's doors going to close. It was frustrating, a tragedy in the making.

Nevertheless, I didn't want this to dampen my spirit. If my spirit is a blanket, you'd have to throw it in the machine and air it by 8.30 am. I was so hungry but I focused on my reading. It was Nanny Returns from Nicola Kraus and Emma McLaughlin; the sequel to The Nanny. Usually, I can only finish 20 pages top in a train but this delay gave me extra time to keep up with the reading. And it has been a while since I managed to get my hands on books like this so I'd better savor it.

See? Every cloud has a silver lining. So, why not come up with a list of things to do if this kind of delay happens again?

Take this time to exercise. Walk from the back of the train to the front. Even better if the train is full. In order to avoid them, run out of the coach and try to get onto the cab at the other end, racing with buzzer. See? Who says you cannot move your muscles when you enter university life?

It took the train this morning more than an hour to be ok. I was stuck in Pasar Seni for a good 30 minutes. Sometimes it is hard to get different breakfasts daily so use this opportunity wisely. There's a mamak restaurant down the station. Run down and order roti canai or two; something that is not conveniently available near KLCC, and run straight up. Or, you can just glance up and if you notice that the platform is still full, just eat there. Enjoy your breakfast hassle-free once in a while.

Maybe you are not the type of person who takes breakfast. Fret not.  Take this time to go on the Internet and take a good look at your Facebook. Keep in touch with your friends (well, we might need them someday). Shout, poke or tag them on pictures. Preferably pictures of the roti canai you took during breakfast. Find out who just gave birth to a baby and who is currently in need for Restaurant City.

Better still, use Twitter to inform the situation to people who are thinking to go on the train. This is the perfect time to be of use to the community.

Compose the long letter that you have been wanting to send to your significant other or your sister/ mother or whatever. You can use the time wisely to sort out the clutter in the cyber-world. I know I do. No offence but as of late, I prefer to add someone who looks familiar to me or at least tell me who they are. And most probably with usernames that sounds logical or familiar.

There are many things that we can do during delays like that but this is not the reason why RapidKL should not improve their service. I mean, it is ok to have breakdown once in a while but we had a breakdown already yesterday, do we need another one today? Time is money people, I know those working in the company knows that too. When the train comes late, many things go haywire, we know, you guys suffer too.

Having said that, please, I want to arrive at least on time next week. Can we do that RapidKL?

Communicating...finally

I have a very good friend. We met during out foundation year in MMU and since then, we have been good friends. We went through a lot together; laughter, tears, student life, working lives...being aunties in the same year and lots more. We may talk about lots of stuff but one thing we didn't do, we did today. 

As in talking. Not something else. TSK. 

Finally, we approached the topic that we usually skirt around for years. The topic of significant other. I don't know why but with her, it doesn't come easy. It was never easy. I know how she feels. It is difficult to be talking about that topic. 

About the things that we went through, where do we really want this 'current relationship' with another good friend go. What we wish to do.

Our hopes and dreams. Somehow, we feel so embarrassed about it. 

I'm glad we had the talk. It has been hovering for years. After ten years, we finally do the 'chic talk'. 

Wonder why it never happened before. Hurm

P/S: I need a simple black cardigan. I really do not know how to wear those kimono-like cardigans, I'm afraid I might choke in it 

budak U

hari ini aku cuba untuk tak mengadap komputer sangat. mata letih dan selain itu, aku perlukan face-to-face human interaction. tapi sejak selepas maghrib, tercongok juga aku depan laptop mengadap kehidupan online aku pula. 

sepupu menaip twitter tak berhenti sambil membuat assignment (i assume). bagaimana dia menceritakan facebook telah menyebabkan dia distracted. 

secara tak sengaja, aku pun terlontar kembali ke zaman itu. zaman di mana mengadap laptop bukan nak buat kerja sangat. kejap-kejap, window YM! muncul. bercerita benda-benda yang tak penting. sambil  merungut kerja tak siap. sampailah ke garisan hujung, kami dapat siapkan juga. itupun dengan hikmat apatah. 

dengan seluar kotak-kotak, selipar jepun, lari sekeliling hostel untuk dapatkan penyelesaian assignment (atau esenmen). tak tido jugaklah satu malam nak siapkan beberapa soalan sebelum dihantar. itu blom lagi bersusah-payah shoot video untuk esenmen sekali kamera hilang. ini memang tak boleh lupalah. sorang kena bayar beberapa ratus sebulan nak setelkan kes itu. 

malam peperiksaan computer application, aku baru nak print nota. oke yang ini mmg boleh buat beginilah sebab subjeknya senang, carry marks pula cukup cantik. ini kejahilan zaman silam, kepada sepupu; pls jgn ikut. menyesal siot. kalo belajar betul-betul tak payah susah-payah bayar wang PTPTipu. 

itu belum masuk bab assignment programming. aku mmg tak reti programming. kalau suruh tulis tentang stereoscopic display, monitor, latest invention in multimedia, tadehal beb (memang sepatutnya amek something to do with writing dari dulu T__T). kalo tang programming, berbuih mulut kat situ. nak buat Hello World!' pun terkial-kial. maka, memang sangat berusaha untuk mendapatkan carry marks yang tidak menyeksakan sangat. 

sebelum aku tukar kos, memang senak nak lulus. tapi alhamdulillah, lepas tukar kos, rasanya dah tak fail kecuali satu paper lepas accident. masa tu baru aku rasa nikmatnya belajar, besnye kalau tau jawapan tutorial. masa tu baru berusaha lebih sikit, outcome pun lebih sikit. tapi dean's list tu masih jauh juga. 

lepas tukar majoring tu la aku susun sendiri jadual belajar. i mean, aku tak ikut sangat apa yang ada dlm guide. subjek susah aku pairkan dengan yang mudah untuk kasi seimbang. macam kelakar la kan kalau nak ambik eletronics 3, electromagnetics, engineering maths dgn microprocessor. semua pun subjek susah-susah. memanglah ada orang bole bawak tapi bukan semua orang. lps tu berapa ramai pulak yang kene repeat. 

bila dikenang-kenangkan balik, memang kelakar. masa belajar, apa je yang nak difikir? bil telefon mungkinlah tapi itupun bole buat-buat lawak nak minta dari famili. tak payah bayar bil letrik, travel jauh-jauh termasuk bawah ketiak orang semua cih. masa tu dok fikir nak siapkan esenmen tapi malas, nak study tapi sebenarnya nak dating, nak pegi beli buku nota lps tu nak usha mamat hensem mana tah tak tau nama pun (ini semua contoh yang diambil daripada keadaan sekeliling, tidak terbatas pada diri penulis semata-mata). 

sekarang? 'adults are defined by bills'. lebih daripada separuh gaji boleh terkorban untuk bil sahaja kalau tak hati-hati. 

kepada sepupu, toksahla malas-malas sangat. pensyarah ni pun manusia juga. kalau kau rajin buat esenmen die dengan sedikit usaha (sehingga esenmen tu jadi hasil kerja tangan, bukan hasil cakar kaki), dia akan ingat kat kau dan hati dia lega nak tanda kertas. tak payah bodek lebih-lebih, siapkan esenmen dengan elok, cuba siapkan tutorial, insyaAllah dia akan ingat kau. dan mood lecturer yang baik ketika menanda kertas adalah penting. kalau tak, sila bersiap-sedia dengan tisu untuk menangis sebab mengulang. 

ouh oke maaf sepupu. terbeleter pula. 

ah monday. here comes the monday blues. 

Why I Cannot Go on Trans-Siberia

beg pegi snorkeling yg ade bunge
Originally uploaded by uculer

For years, I have been dreaming of going on Trans-Siberian, a network of railway that connects sea of Japan, China, Mongolia and Russia, among others. Three years ago, I even tried to save for the trip (but alas invested on several pair of shirts bwahaha!).

However, I really do think that I cannot go on that railway network, which is divided into four parts. Because….

1. The red bag with flower motives was the bag that I carried during island hopping and snorkelling. Just imagine, that was just the bag that I carried around for the few hours. Please imagine me going on Trans-Siberian that will obviously take weeks perhaps. I might as well attach a cargo to the train to fit all my things.
2. I’m extremely worried when it comes to things associated with bathrooms. I nearly burst in happiness when I arrive in any places and I see nice restrooms. I almost wept but managed to control myself before any of my friends noticed. Imagine going for days on the train, backpacking style. Say bye-bye to nice restrooms.
3. The very issue of bathrooms. Yikes.
4. I will not be able to sleep. And me not having enough sleep is nightmare. Ask my office mates when I come to the office in the morning. An unknown person nicknamed Calvin (haha!) asked whether I would like the title ‘Minah Brutal’ or ‘Minah Garang’. Neither. ‘Aishah yang cool’ will do.
5. Language barriers. If I want to do this Trans-Siberian thingy, I would have to speak at least 5 languages since the train will go pass North Korea, Beijing and wait…where is Kiev located?
6. The very issue of money. Like of course it’s backpacking but going past several countries, experiencing different temperatures. I should be thinking about different clothing and back ups if I need food. What with me and being fragile shessh!
7. I will be itching to go online. With the clothes and essentials, I don’t think I can fit my laptop. And not even my iPad.

Seven points that made me drop my plan to go all independent and travel on that thingy. I just recently discovered that my good friend also wants to go on the same thing but we will need a guy to accompany us too.

But alas, the biggest obstacle for me is having to live on the train. I don’t think I can do that. So, the solution is now just to head to Perhentian. Yes, I know. Again. And arrangement has been made. This time, I will be chilling on the beach only, on the hammock and taking pictures; sunrise and sunset.

why iPad?

reminder: this is just my (a bit insane) thoughts. proceed at your own risk

1. why not? oke jawapan ini mmg mintak pelempang
2. IMHO, I get to save a lot on the classics. I just finished reading Dorian Gray. well not just but still, I do not have to buy it or download it and then print it out.
3. refer point no 2. I get to save space on books
4. unlike laptops, it takes just a split second to switch iPad on. or off.
5. it weighs less than a kilo (but still can cause injury if one is to bang it on a friend's head)
6. lazy to carry the laptop around in the house? iPad to the rescue
7. one can save data, photos, music and such on an iPad.
8. you do not need to sit in starbucks or such to surf. just stand outside their outlet and you are ready to read your favourite blog (evil laugh)
9. i can get obese on the games
10. you can pretend that you are jotting notes during a seminar while actually, you are just drawing something on the screen.

i know. i'm just bored. thus the review.

Ouh pls rain, just go away

My friend is sitting in front of me, waiting to flee to pavilion to do his mystery shopper assignment. I tried to apply for the job and didn't get it and he got it? And this is his second job, can you believe it?

I'm so green with envy right now because come on, who doesn't want to get paid to shop? I dooooo

Anyways, we are stuck here in meal station because of the rain. And he's sitting in front of me with a device which name i do not know. So i blog.

And here come's the bill

Sent from my iPad

hikmat air tawar

springwater
Originally uploaded by uculer

gambar ini bukan menunjukkan pendaratan PATI-PATI ke malaysia mahupun perkumpulan penjual pati semalaya. ini merupakan gambar yang diambil semasa orang-orang bukan dari perhentian dihantar mandi ke tempat air tawar ini. aktiviti dimandikan dengan air bukit ini mmg telah termasuk dalam jadual pelencongan (intended) maka kami nak tak nak, mestilah mandi di sini.

mesti itu nampak sangat tipu. kami tidak diugut langsung utk dicampakkan ke shark point jika tidak mandi di sini. kami saja gatal-gatal pergi.

apapun, air dia sejuk dan tak pernah berhenti. maklumlah, air bukit. dan beliau juga berkata:
'siapa-siapa yang tak kahwin lagi, kalau mandi kat sini, dapatlah jodoh'

bidaah sungguh. bajet kami mudah tertipu la tu. ces. oke sebenarnya tau dia melawak je.

cerita ini telah diceritakan kepada seorang rakan bernama wan yang comel. saya telah melawat dia di rumahnya dan di sana terdapat dua anak buah beliau yang comel-comel. saya telah memegang anak buahnya yang besar sedikit bernama afif. nasib baik dah 5 bulan, kalau kurang, mesti cuak.

dan seperti episod-episod sebelum ini, mesti akan dimuntahkan bayi. first time jumpa imran begitu. addin pun begitu. jemima sahaja tidak. beginilah nasib, selalu dimuntahkan bayi.

kawan saya cakap: efek muntah bayi tu macam mandi kat air bukit tu la.

cis. nasib baik anda tidak sihat. kalau tidak, mmg sudah kene debik.

searching

i wonder if this is the end to my search

its huge step and a lot is at stake

i mean, i am thinking of leaving all this behind but am i that brave?

or actually

crazy?

it doesn't mean that i have to end up with somebody

i just want to be there

SDC14053
Originally uploaded by uculer

I really have no heart to talk about my latest retreat to Pulau Perhentian. Its not that I hate it, I think I may have left something there and there’s no way for me to get it back. Well, at least not just yet.

We went on a bus although it would be really nice if we could have other means of transportation. The about 8 hours journey was better buried somewhere at the very back of my mind. It was like going on a rodeo; never mind that I’ve never experienced it ever in my whole life. But sitting at the very back of the bus, going through the streets in the East Coast was nightmare while I was still very much aware of what was going on.

The trip started with a movie called Cliffhanger, which was truly a cliffhanger because the bus operator didn’t show the rest of the movie. Yes, my mood was already not that good and leaving me hanging on what was going to happen on Slyvester Stallone was not good.

For the remainder of the night (we departed from KL at about 10pm), sleep didn’t come easy. A few winks but when we arrived in Kelantan, I had trouble closing my eyes. It has been nearly a decade since I’ve been there so I was really excited although of course, there not much to see, being awake at about 5am. And was not able to determine whether anyone was snoring or not.

Once we arrived in Kuala Besut, the paint at my joints and of course because of sitting down for too long kind of vanished. The place looked a bit like Kuala Selangor but I especially like the place that we had breakfast. To heck with toothpaste and toothbrush, nasi dagang here we come!

The boat ride was fun, I can never ride a rollercoaster but boat rides I can do. I was so glad that nobody was seasick; I think we are too excited to think what was waiting on the island.

The moment I stepped down on the beach, I fell in love with the island. For a start, the water was so clear and blue. There were not so many seagulls but still the waves brought music to my ears.

We milled around while taking pictures here and there and of course, there were no people in the pictures. I was too engrossed with taking the pictures of the environment.

From then on, I was focused on snorkelling. Although we can opt for special goggles for short sighted people like me, I still put on my lenses. I was stingy because the special goggles cost RM 20 per day.

I was so lucky that I was able to snorkel. The biggest concern was not about drowning but getting salt water into my eyes. We were so lucky that our guides were very helpful. They brought clown fishes and helped us to look at all the interesting things in the sea. We even spotted turtles during the snorkelling session.

Snorkeling does not require one to necessarily able to swim but it can be of absolute advantage. The one thing that you do not want to do is to laugh in the sea (which happened to me a few times) so swim away as far as you can from the clowns.

For me, everything was worth it. Losing one of the lenses, experiencing dehydration and getting sick were all worth it. I especially loved the laid back nature on the island. The only regret was I was unable to take pictures during sunsets and sunrises. I was also unable to get down at the shark points.

So, it is suffice to say that I will go back and will now resort to counting the coins in my tabung. Heh.

rindu

rindu nak menulis
nak try mlm ni

tidak tersangkakan

serius, memang menjejakkan kaki ke perhentian berbekalkan perasaan yang sedikit jengkel kerana terpaksa duduk di dalam bas selama sembilan jam. ada yang kata 'alah malam. boleh tidur'. itu kalau boleh tidur, kalau tak boleh, macam mana? 

tapi hati terus jatuh sayang pada perhentian sebaik sahaja kaki menjejak pantai (bukan pantai dalam). dan sampai hari ini, sudah tiga hari..btullah cakap syuhada...

cintaku tertinggal di perhentian

hep. jangan ada spekulasi. 

entahlah. rasa tenang sangat tempat tu. ada kawan tanya, kenapa tak redang? sebab redang sudah jadi tempat tumpuan semua pelancong. hilang daya tarikannya. 

sudahlah baru-baru ini selalu sangat rasa tertekan. doktor pun suruh berehat. bila dah sampai sana, mestilah lagi seronok jadinya. tak perlu hotel 5 bintang, kalau ada rumah papan dengan kipas angin lama pun dah lebih dari cukup. petang-petang berebut hammock di pokok. malam pula pakat curi tikar entah siapa, pandang bintang di langit. 

subhanallah, besarnya keagungan Tuhan. 

rasa nak duduk sana. sungguh, tak tipu. sedang merangka pelan macam mana nak jadi penduduk sana. sungguh, tak tipu. malah sekarang sudahpun ada teman untuk melawat perhentian tahun depan, lepas musim tengkujuh. 

setiap kali teringat perhentian, denyut jantung jadi tenang. tak pernah jadi macam ni. 

lps tu tulis blog pun dah jadi macam orang lain T__T

i left my heart in perhentian

and so that explains the lack of entries
i am drained of my energy

babai :(

babai :(
Originally uploaded by uculer

penulis sedang berkemas-kemas (menyumbat semua barang ke dlm beg) utk bercuti esok ke pantai timur
woohoo!

p/s: maaf. kiriman utk kopok losong tidak diterima. sila dapatkan di pasar-pasar malam yang berdekatan

peringatan kpd yang bekerja

ye la

deskmate kau berhati busuk

sungguh dengki dan khianat sehingga kau rasa benjamin netanyahu pun sedikit jengkel dgn dia

kalau betul kau nak marah, kutuk, umpat, keji, cela, sumpah

tolong angkat telefon, hubungi kawan baik yang tidak sama tempat kerja utk sesi mengumpat. 

marah mcm mana sekalipun,

tolong elakkan daripada cerita pada kawan-kawan di tempat kerja. 

kalau kawan saya cerita pasal jiran dia kat saya

saya tak kesah sbb dia cukup bijak memilih orang yg tak kenal jiran dia

maklumat itu saya tak boleh guna utk blackmail dia ke ape

habis, kalau cerita pada kawan yang duduk sebelah printer ttg deskmate yang selalu makan roti tak ajak (ini cth sahaja)

kalau dia bocorkan rahsia

siaplah

di facebook, bersedia utk dimaki dgn semua kata-kata kesat

mungkin boleh jadi dalam 16 bahasa dengan bantuan google translate 

kawan saya sudah dua kali tweet, dia kata 'silence is golden'

saya kata 'setuju!'

t-shirt itu

'macam jersi jerman la'

nak ucap, tapi tak terluah. 

sabarlah. kan syud dah pesan suruh sabar

senario's scenario

With all due respect, I think Senario should back out now. Why so?

1) I'm confused, are they speaking or are they shouting (refer to Mazlan Pet Pet's and Wahid voices). Talking at that tone is just pure annoying. 

2) Funny people do not have to makeover themselves to the point of making them look stupid. What's up with the blue and some off colour on Azlee's head? Are people trying to make him look like a clown? And he let them do that? Dude, where's your price? 

3) These days, Senario's jokes are not funny. Enough said. Even the ads on the TV look pathetic. 

4) I don't get it, these people are on the way to the 40's. Why did these actors let other people embarrass them? 

5) Good comedians know the difference between getting the audience to 'laugh with them' and 'laugh at them'. 

IMHO, Senario is still in denial. A few years ago, they denied the fact that they are getting unpopular. How can anyone say self-confess that he or she is still popular? Someone who is still clinging on the little string of hope that they are still popular. 

I do not know if any of the Senario members will come across this but I really think you guys should call it quits. Find some films or sitcoms that will make you people more respectable. There is no bad stories or scandals or stupid gossips about you guys yet so please, while you guys still have it, just make a clean exit. 

Btw, Azlee, your supposedly funny face is not funny. It's annoying. Only kids can pull it off and you don't.

btw, many people are interested in the wrod-smith seminar. i'm concerned that those who might want to take part will lose the chance if they wait to long. if you are unsure on what that seminar is about, click here http://www.kapasitor.net/klik/workshop/en/

baru sahaja eksaited nak beli kasut bila student bayar tuition fees

sekalik

kedai kasut tutup 

itu tandanya...kena berjimat cermat

aku bukanlah seorang yang istiqamah dalam menjaga pemakanan. aku mengaku, bila sampai musim, tiba-tiba saja aku akan jadi begitu peka terhadap pemakanan yang sehat. seperti contoh, baru-baru ini aku giat membeli vitagin kurang gula untuk menjaga kesihatan perut.

btw, mengapakah vitagen kurang gula dijual pada harga yang lebih tinggi berbanding vitagen biasa. bukankah pembuatan vitagen kurang gula sepatutnya lebih murah kerana kurang gula dimasukkan di dalam minuman tersebut? ha tak paham tu buat-buatlah paham sebab aku pun dah tak paham apa aku tulis.

ouh, kembali kepada perkara pokok.

sekalipun aku tidaklah begitu menitik-beratkan pemakanan diri aku yang berat ini, aku cuba juga makan sayur setiap hari. kalau tidak 5 kali sehari, 1 pun sudah cukup bagus (gile tak seimbang). jadi, emosi aku sungguh terusik kalau buka tudung saji dan tidak melihat sayur. bagaimana dengan serat yang penting untuk penghadaman perut aku? ini sungguh tidak adil.

jadi, kalau tiada sayur di bawah tudung saji, selalunya aku akan tutup tudung saji dengan selamba sambil jadi ikan emas dengan minum air sebanyak mungkin. risau juga sebenarnya kalau-kalau paru-paru aku bakal tenggelam dek air tapi tak mengapalah, aku rela. aku perlu menipu diri yang aku sudah kenyang untuk mengelakkan aku daripada menyunyah saat burung hantu sahut-menyahut.

penipu haram. mana ade burung hantu dekat pantai valley (tiru sepupu yg nak masuk UTM bulan depan. belajar elok-elok douh. nnt petang rabu agak-agak bosan, roger ah kite tgk wayang kat KLCC).

ish. termelalut lagi.

hurm sebenarnya entri ini nak menceritakan perasaan kecil hari bila tiada sayur di bawah tudung saji, dengan harapan nenek membacanya. lupa pula beliau tiada komputer T_T

Word-smith Seminar

muahhahahah
Originally uploaded by uculer

Why not? In my honest opinion, I can control my own time as I am my own boss. I can afford to be choosy (of course in the case of ‘beggars can’t be choosers’, this is not applicable). Let me tell you why. Well, it’s ok if you want to leave my article here. Although you know *kuis kaki I am kind of hoping you’d stay.

First, people like Yours Truly who have severe financial turmoil in her own purse, are able to get extra money. Be it for the new shoes (sales in Vincci), the new shirt (sales in MNG), new handphone (iPhone 4) or getting married (not to another wife). In my case, I do freelance work in campus to get extra money.

For undergraduates out there, freelancing will add to your resume. Imagine this; would a future employer look for a fresh graduate without experience or a graduate with some experience, even self-employed ones?

Second, we control our own time. Some people already have desk-bound jobs so they allocate certain time in a week to do some freelancing. Of course, this will need some time management skill. Well, we really cannot have workers blogging about a new iPhone 4 during working hour right?

Third, we can determine where to work. Ah, isn’t it nice to be sipping coffee in a kopitiam while typing away the latest project? Your office is anywhere; it does not have to be specifically at a designated office.

However, let us focus on writing as freelancing. I have good news for those who love writing and maybe, share some ways to get extra income.

‘Worldwide online advertising is expected to rise 12.4% this year to $61 billion, according to a new report from MagnaGlobal, the forecasting unit of advertising holding company Interpublic Group of Cos.


In addition, the report noted that paid search has become the most important component of online advertising; Magna expects pay-per-click ads to account for $29.8 billion in expenditures, up 16.5% over the 2009 total. All other online channels combined will grow 8.7% this year, the company said.’

Cited from BtoBonline.

More online spending means more online advertisement. This means that more money is being infused into online publishing, hurrah for bloggers! But no, there is no need for everyone to have a blog now although you can do so if you want to, nobody is going to stop you BUT that is just the tip of the iceberg. There are some other ways to get extra income through freelancing.

So, are you curious to know more about freelance writing? Want to know more on how to benefit from your talent? Here’s a perfect place to do so. Check out the ‘Wordsmith Seminar’ from Kapasitor, coming to you in July 2010.

Instructor: Siti Aishah bt Abdul Aziz
Fees: RM 80 (payable upon registration. Non-refundable)
Time: 9am-6pm
Location: FnD Mindspot, 103A, Jalan Aminuddin Baki, Taman Tun Dr Ismail, 60000 KL
What can be expected: How to stand out from other freelancers, how to come up with good resume, tips and tricks to freelance writing, among others
Target: Anyone interested in freelancing; students, housewives (with recommendable English)
Requirements: Participants will have to write an essay of between 150 words and 250 words for discussion session. Topic can include anything, including

Participants will get notes and materials during the seminar (other TBA). The speaker will also share some ways to earn extra income (not MLM and certainly not Skim Cepat Kaya ;).

Please do not hesitate to PM me or email me at uculer[at]gmail.com for further enquiries :)

maka pasukan perancis pun pulang utk makan roti perancis
dan pasukan italy...oke malas ah ckp

attention to all translators

'take a leaf out of the book' should be translated as 'mengambil daun dari bukunya'

' come out of the closet' does not mean keluar dari almari 

i do not know how they hire these people but i personally think this should not happen. i mean, it is your job. if kak bedah bawak bas did this, i would understand but someone who does this for living cannot make such mistakes. 

i mean, if they really do it for a living

and an episode of criminal minds 

brunette translated to 'berambut perang'

some people may have forgotten about dictionaries

si keletah

kerjakan teddy bear
Originally uploaded by uculer

i miss him. i really do. but this time around, when i say i'm busy, i really do.

miss his vice on the phone. mak must have misplaced her phone somewhere TSK

10 Benefits of World Cup

Ya, I know. The time has arrived again when we will see our colleagues (or even bosses) stagger into the office at nearly noon. Bloodshot eyes and unkempt hair included in the package. Worried moms will be losing sanity looking at the kids camping in front of the TV but let's take a positive look on how the event can benefit us

1. For the girls out there, this is the perfect opportunity to go on a date with your crush. Ask him out for dinner to watch the live game or the rerun. And when you think it will be disastrous to see him screaming abuse to team playing on the screen, do not fret. This is the perfect opportunity to learn about him inside out.

But don’t forget to learn the rules and get to know who is playing. We are watching the game, not learning about the game. Trust me, the guy will have no time teaching you about free kicks, penalty kicks and stuff. Do you research and learn the rules, get paid lessons from your brother if you must. Guys think it is cool if chicks dig sports.

2. Again for girls; perfect time to get your boyfriend or partner with your friends. It will be even better if you can drag your father and brothers along. Cut all the hassle of getting to know him better by bringing him home for dinner, small family gathering etc. Just make sure you have the team right. We do not want bloodbaths and complications to your love life if you bring supporters of opposing teams together. .

3. Perfect time to test whether your partners love you (I say partners because some girls are S crazy about footballs as guys do. And some guys do not watch footballs). Text them when their favourite team is playing. See if they can take a time off howling with laughter when the players keel over and reply your text. Typing mindless tittle-tattle will be just perfect.

4. Perfect time to get the husband wake you up and take care of the screaming baby. Let’s not be too hopeful on him taking care of the baby, shall we?

5. Some bosses allow people to come in later than usual. Use this to your benefit. Never mind you don’t even know that Honduras made it into the game.

6. For those who are running a restaurant, this is a perfect time to start inviting everyone to your shop and make good use of the event. Benefit from it. Ouh throwing free drinks wouldn't hurt.

7. Woman, your partners would hardly care what you shop during this one month. They have other more important things in their mind. This is the time that you can get away with almost anything.

Don’t believe me? Brazil’s stock exchange was heavily interrupted during their game. Traders actually stopped trading to watch the game. See? I’m not making this all up?

8. It is still not too late to ask for another TV set or Astro account. Trust me.

9. This is perfect for those who have to wrestle their siblings to the ground when it comes to using the computer. There are three matches in a day so you will get about 6 hours on the computer. Just lure them with the promise of junk food in front of the TV.

10. If there is one thing people can accept, it is illogical reasons. 'Why do you look so glum?' 'Nani is not playing this time'.
Why the long face?
Answer: Spain lost
And they will go...'ouh...right'.
Nevermind that you do not know the first thing about penalty box or kicks. Just learn the teams playing in the game and the schedule. Easy peasy.

With that people, I invite you to lengthen the list. Thank you and enjoy the rest of the game.

i need space. in addition to backspace and spacebar

why you should get an iPad:

reason  number one: you can finish a whole article while queuing for a movie ticket

convenient

From Marian Keyes. Yes, lately has become one of her fans. I managed to get two of her books at great prices. Apparently, the place where I rent her books has difficulty to stock her books bur never mind.

Watermelon is about Claire who lost her husband once she gave birth to a baby girl. She didn't see this coming, especially when the woman is someone living in their building, a woman is older than her and has three kids. However, it happened and she was left alone with her baby while her husband galloped off with ther other woman.

Then, Claire returned back to the Walsh residence with her dysfunctional family. She had to turn back to her normal size as she realized she is now the equivalent to watermelon (hence the title of the book).

Despite the insanity in the house with her other siblings, she managed to pull it off with the baby. Of course, the first two months were the hardest; that ease when it hit home that she is now a single mother. But then came the beautiful Adam, Helen's friends but someone who clearly  likes her.

At first, she couldn't believe it what with the baby and all but it turned out that Adam really interested in her. That was when her husband came down all the way from London to convince her to come back and try to win her back.

Well, not really win her back but actually putting her down so much that she start doubting herself.

' Was it really my fault that he left me to leave with our neighbor?'
' Am I the reason that he went with her?'
' Was I being so selfish during pregnancy that he had to get the love from someone else?'

You see, of course her husband is trying to win her back except that it wasn't done in a good way. He shifted all the guilt on Claire. And the problem is, Claire actually bought it. You know, Mammy Walsh doesn't believe in divorce. So, she tried to get back with her husband.

It was fun seeing how the story progress. How Claire handles the issues in a most hilarious way. And of course, meeting the Walsh for the first time.

The book is for light-reading of course a chick-lit. It is great if you just want to relax with a good book. I give 4 doughnuts.

Which reminds me, it has been sometime since I had a doughnut. Hurm...

esok mulalah piala dunia
4 thn lps, aku penah duduk di ruang tamu bersama kawan2 di rumah sewa
kami tertanya-tanya di mana kami nanti pada piala dunia akan datang
dan hari ini, di sinilah kami
bertebaran di merata-rata tempat
ada yang di malaysia
ada yang di luar negara

series weh
besnye kalo dapat berjumpul balik tgk bola sama-sama
lps tu aku mcm marah sbb korang tido dgn jayanya tinggal aku sorang-sorang sedih tgk zidane kene buang padang (cis materazzi!)

dengan siapa korang tengok piala dunia tahun ni?
dengan siapa eh?

tak tido la lagi makcik nampaknya. hurmmm

and then comes the day when sleep doesn't come easy

banyak yang terlintas dalam kepala tapi sangat tak mampu nak jelaskan. or rather,malas nak jelaskan pun ada juga.
akhir-akhir ini memang sibuk. kalau tiba masa senggang, mesti berpesan pada diri sendiri 'nikmati saat-saat ini sebelum anda kembali sibuk seperti dua orang perdana menteri di negara membangun'. oke, saja je nak buat perumpamaan sendiri.
akhir-akhir ini sibuk sangat menulis untuk pelanggan sehingga lupa ada tanggungjawab yang perlu dilunaskan di kapasitor.net. heh, ingat senang ke dapat privilege yang diberikan (kenalah tgk kapasitor.net kalau nak faham). tapi betullah, sibuk. biat sibuk, jangan tak buat apa. kemudian jadi bosan. kemudian tak tahu buat apa. kemudian simpan duit di shopping mall.
ada ipad boleh tulis novel? hah i wish! asyik buat research utk penuhi permintaan client je. mana nak ada masa sgt. sampai kadang-kadang termimpi ttg blinds design. sungguh. sumpah menakutkan. tapi itulah, kalau tak kerja, siapa nak bayar bil? siapa nak suap mulut sendiri? siapa nak isikan tabung yang penuh dgn angin?

alhamdulillah. dah boleh bernafas dengan lega nampaknya. 

memang tak tau apa nak expect mula-mula melangkah dengan buku di celah ketiak

tapi lepas tu sudah oke

hihi

cikgu sudah berjaya menyiapkan teaching plan
tidak seperti semalam di mana cikgu sudah tertulis sebuah puisi
buruk betul perangai cikgu

syuhada, nanti buat latihan cikgu nak rait (klasik gile)
oke? babai cikgu nak tido

p/s: dia cakap 'bye babe' sbb nak panggil ai babe ke atau samakan ai dengan babe dalam cite 'Babe'? eeee jahatnye

dormant
mcm tumor
sesuatu yang dormant itu selalunya kita tak tahu penangan dia macam mana
sampailah ada penyebab utk dia jadi aktif semula

ya.
kita takkan tau sejauh mana orang itu beri kesan pada kita
*urut dagu